The Dark Years
by AmberGoldenEyes
Summary: Carlisle never thought he would make it through the years alone. untill one vow made with a dying women changed his life and his Heart forever. edward/carlisle
1. Prologue: Memories

**A/N; **

**This is for my Friend, Bryan C. He wanted me to Do a Carlisle/ Edward one. Yes at first I was shocked but yet, I was also intrigued by this, and he thought it would be cool, something out of the ordinary. But since I am a deeply devoted Carlisle fan I thought it would be really cool to write :).**

**So tell me what you think about it, if I should just write a draft of this, or I should continue with this.**

**Warning; Slash M/M ; don't like it im sorry. :( but if you do, please let me know very much love the reviews..**

**BTW; I DON'T OWN STEPHS CHARACTERS**

**Song : Take my Picture by Dot Dot Curve :)**

**Prologue**

_**Memories**_

_I'm sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire. But I'm hoping that there is still a point to this life, even for us. It's a long shot, I'll admit. By all accounts, we're damned regardless. But I hope, maybe foolishly, that we'll get some measure of credit for trying._

**Carlisle's Pov.**

Ever since, I had lived in the days of the 1901 century I never thought, that I would ever have something to share it with. I thought I was meant to just go off into the night, drinking blood from my animals that lived near the small house that I had picked up in Chicago.

I was nearly 300 or if humans could give me an age number. I think thirty two would suffice in my case.

My hair was a pale blonde and almost shimmered in the sunlight, and my blue eyes were very popular to my friends back in Italy. I had left about two years ago, wanting to become a doctor and wanting to move away from my Friends Arro, Caius and Marcus.

I had stayed in Chicago for seventeen years before the Spanish influenza hit. I was a doctor at the Chicago North land and doing very well at that place, blood had been second nature to me, and I put my patents first, which became coming in large amounts.

Hardly any of them had made it. But none of them rang out to my ears as the glorious Elizabeth Masen. She had come in Wednesday night with what appeared as a head flu. But within two days her body had decayed drastically and she was put into my wing.

I liked her a lot, she was a sweet women. Seeming to be about older thirties and had a nice soft, velvet voice. She had dark black hair, with a tinge of bright green eyes, and a cautious attitude.

It was the night of the sixteenth, and I could smell the fear of death running from her skin, the blood decaying within her. She wouldn't last through the night.

I went to the door to go get her a glass of water, when her sudden urgent voice rang through my ears.

"_Carlisle"_ I turned around and immediately rushed to her side, checking her pulse. It was running very slow.

She looked over at the next patient room, before she leaned up, with all the strength she could muster.

"Carlisle, Save my son.. Please"- she looked at me, and a ting of guilt ran through me. I felt as if she knew what I was. Maybe I had underestimated her glances of awe towards me in the days that had come before.

"I will do all I can" I said truthfully. But that didn't seem to satisfy her, as her warm fingers grabbed my shoulder, pulling me closer to her..

"Promise me" she begged slowly, her voice a velvet smooth. Almost as though she was wanting to be on her knees holding me down.

"I will" I said slowly and this time, I saw a flash of anger. Her hair glittered along in the light of the hospital wing, and she gripped my lab coat even harder.

"Swear to do it"- that's when it clicked, she knew that I was something not human, she must have thought me an angel. She must have thought that I would save him. Her son had been brought to the hospital a day ago, also with the disease but I had not seen him yet.

"I Swear"- I said slowly and watched a truthful smile run onto her lips as she leaned back, letting go and with a final breath I watched the remaining life of Elizabeth masen falter underneath the spell of death.

I watched her taken away from the clinic heading to the morgue, one of the men looked shamelessly at her, many of them had died, and most Americans hated seeing these young women dying, as well as there own men.

That night I headed into the next part of the hospital to find her son, the room also smelt of death. No one was there and the patient's seemed to be sleeping as my gaze swept over them. I stopped however. My eyes widened as a boy about seventeen lay on one of the beds. He looked to go. I could smell his blood and I felt the monster sort of whisper thoughts in my ear. This had to be Elizabeth's son.

His hair was scattered around his pale face, it was a copper/auburn color. His green eyes were darkening and I watched his chest rise up and down with the breath of soon to be death. He looked so young and yet it killed me to know that he was going to die, with his fellow members of this poor town.

His green eyes glanced at me, and he looked at me in some sort of awe. I felt my head start to pound and the promise I had made to her. To save her son was clear on my mind. I smiled tenderly and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Edward, I promise I will save you" and I heard him try and whisper something to me, and I leaned down towards his neck. And let my heart lead the way as my fangs suddenly went into his neck. Sending the venom as I began to drink

He did not scream, or try and fight me, I leaned up and closed the wound and saw nothing but the pain glitter on his features, his cold green eyes seeming to look at me in confusion. I leaned back licking the blood from my lips, covering my nose to not let the smell take me over again. I had to remain controlled.

I watched slowly as the boy closed his eyes. Struggling with the pain and the fire I heard him give a stiff whimper.

And I watched my new Heir, fall into the deep sleep of the morning that was soon to come. I had done it, I had given her a swear. I had made a companion of the night for myself.

I was dreading the moment of him waking up...

**A/n;**

**well? Im sorry if it was short.? Do you think I should continue it. I know I kind of rushed the process but I know how much you know of how Carlisle changed him.**

**Give me your thoughts. Should I continue with it? **


	2. Vampire

**Thanks to the Review, they made me smile, I am hoping to get more, and I hope I don't disappoint my fans with this i hope that I will get some more requests to continue this :)**

**Warning this pairing is not mine, I do not own any of the characters from twilight. ( I am just secretly a Carlisle Fan, as well as a Dark Eddy fan)**

**Oh and If I can, I am looking for a Beta, I need one so please tell me if you wanna help. (Begs on her knees) lol.**

**song;**

**Unforgiven by Metallica**

_We're not indestructible  
Baby, better get that straight!  
I think it's unbelievable  
How you give into the hands of fate_

**Chapter** **2**

_**Vampire**_

**Carlisle's Pov**

Before the night was over I had taken the poor boy, as he whisked in pain to my manor house and laid him in the bed, in my room. Trying not to feel the pounding of his heart, which only seemed to beat still as the venom worked to discontinue that beat.

I looked at him slowly, through the fire light. He looked positively delicious, but to know that I had already turned him had sent me back to the understanding of making sure that he woke up not alone.

I watched him turn over under the covers, his body seemed to drench in sweat. As I watched his skin color turn from a white to a pale shining color. His hair seemed to began to spark up as he turned back and forth. But his eyes remained shut. I was dying for him to wake up. But also dreading it.

I had taken off my work coat and set it near the fire, on my chair. As I sat down to watch the poor boy struggle. The urge to run my fingers over his cheek and to whisper to him that it was alright was growing stronger with each groan that I heard come from his soft looking lips. I heard his hand grab the pillow hastily as another, more, louder groan ran from his lips. And without realizing it I was leaning over him.

The transformation was close, he would be a companion to keep me company, as I with him. I just hope he could accept me. I knew that he would be very confused, and telling him what I was, what he had turned to be seemed pretty far from a "normal" conversations standard.

I watched as my fingers cupped his cheek, pulling the strands of auburn bronze hair from his face, when suddenly I watched him twitch. His body I knew was nearly dead and the coldness of him was settling . His shoulders hunched and I licked my lips nervously. And to think that I had killed this seventeen year old, he looked much older, much mature. Perhaps that is why his mother wanted him in my world.

Of course I was sure that she had expected to see her son in heaven, and it made it harder to imagine just what she would say if she had found out that I was everything but an angel, that I was a devil in a angelic clothes.

I heard him moan slowly. And I looked down into creamy dark green eyes, with some sort of crimson blood color mixed with them. I stood frozen as our eyes connected, neither of us moved and I could feel nothing coming from him, no breath, no heartbeat...nothing.

Suddenly with a jolt his face contorted, a loud scream came from his lips and I backed away starting at him, did he not know that I would not hurt him. Was he afraid of me?, like sometimes my victims had been in my early years.

His dark green eyes moved over to me, as he tried to move, but couldn't.I could tell that he wanted to speak, but, to even try to figure out who I was, was beyond him.

"_Edward"_ His name ran off my lips like the feeling of soft velvet, and I watched as his eyes turned to me in wonder. He leaned up slowly, and I looked at his damp shirt tight against his skin, my mouth felt dry as the venom came up into my mouth.

"What... are you?, where is mama?" he mumbled slowly in a velvet smooth voice, he sounded so much like his mother.

"How do you know, what my mother had sounded like?" he said and I watched his eyes narrow, as they toke in my form slowly. I could tell that his eyes were adjusting. But I was shocked for some odd know reason. ; he could read my mind.

"How did you read my thoughts?" I said not to frighten him, I was looking at this new born with some sort of masochistic awe. He had a power to read minds, was there powers that could be carried on through the time of the damned.

"I am usually good, at reading peoples facial expressions" he said confused, before I watched his eyes look at the mirror that sat to the side of him, his fingers clenched the bed cover, his green eyes seemed to widen as he looked at himself. I froze waiting to hear another scream, but only to hear the sound of a gasp. I began to wonder if he realized that he didn't need to breathe.

"Why do I look dead?" he whispered plaintively to himself, before those eyes narrowed and he flicked his head so that they were looking into mine, I couldn't breathe the color of them shocked me. So dark, so mature..

"What did you do to me, Where am I?, where is Mother?" he said fast paced and I breathed silently, hoping that he was still believing to be dreaming, should I tell him that she had died merely hours ago before he...

"_That's a Lie"_ I heard his perfect voice accuse. I looked at him again, I had to remember that he had the power to read my minds, surely he noticed that I had just looked like him. Dead and physically beautiful. But then, I caught my breath, he was already a beautiful man.

"No, Edward it is not a lie, your mother died nearly a few hours ago, as died you" I said taking a step towards him and watched him back his back against the head board of my bed, his clothes managed to tightened around the skin of his shoulders.

"You liar" he continued and I saw the confusion and Affliction in his eyes, as he seemed to be registering what was happening, and where he was.

"Is this heaven?" he said slowly his voice was curious, and it surprised me suddenly. but the lightness of his tone seemed to make a bright smile come on my face.

"No, This is not Heaven" I said slowly, and then heard him scoff. I had only realized that I had laughed as I said that.

"Then, if this place is not heaven, then we are in hell?" he seemed surprised as I watched him pull the covers down, and noticed that his jeans were tight to his skin, from the sweat that had come when he was transforming. Yet another sight of venom came in my mouth. I twitched away wondering where I was getting this lust from.

"Not exactly" I said moving over to him, as he tried to stand. I watched him stumble and my hands wrapped around his shoulders trying to steady him. He pulled away his eyes looking up into me, I couldn't help but try and let out a breath. He was breathtaking, and what seemed like angered?

"What do you mean 'Not Exactly'" he recited, the cuff of velvet smooth low English accent ran from his lips, I could help but lick my mine as I tried to figure out away to not anger him more, besides I had heard stories from Arro that it was not good to anger a New Born.

"Well, we are more like in purgatory. Neither angel nor demon" I said slowly and this time, I watched him look at the reflection of himself, next to me. He began to realize it slowly as he ran a hand down his arm, as did his reflection. I knew that he was feeling the hardness of his skin and the coldness of it.

"Are we some kind of monster?" he said his eyes turning back to me, and I could help but gasp again, they were a dark green this time.

How was I going to tell him that he was one of the living but yet of the damned, I didn't think that humans had ever been ones to suspect supernatural figures of this coldness and this hunger. I began to figure out why they were so dark. He was hungry, and I knew he could feel some strain in his mouth.

I supposed if I could not tell him what he was, I would gladly show him, but I had forgotten my manners and leaned closer to him, leaning into his ear.

"My name is Carlisle" I said as he was staring at himself in the mirror, I watched him flinch as he felt my warm breath on his ear.

"I am Edward Masen" he said and I watched his eyes look at me through my reflection in the mirror.

"I know, your mother spoke very kindly of you" I watched him slowly look at me again, I could see questions running all over his face.

"How do you know my mother?" he said seemingly becoming a little angered at the fact that I had mentioned I knew his mother, he was frustrated that He didn't know why he was.

"I am not frustrated" he said slowly, surprising himself and me, yet every time that I thought of something I wondered if he heard all of it or bits and piece's of it.

"How am I doing that?" he said slowly seeming to forget the question that he had asked before this little mind conversation.

"Doing what?" I said trying to act curiously, leading him on with the fact that I was intrigued with his 'power'.

"Reading you mind, I can hear your thoughts loud and clear" he said slowly, his eyes seeming to search my face.

"It is a gift you must have brought over from the human world" I said slowly. He looked away and seemed to notice my white lab coat... and then his eyes widened as though that had clicked some memory held inside of him, he flicked his head toward mine.

"You're that doctor, at the hospital.. I think I remember you" I said slowly, and I waited finally for a human reaction to this new born. They were still common even with me sometimes. I nodded slowly and watched his eyes flicker down as though he were collecting pieces of evidence of when he last saw me.

He looked up at me again, and I watched a flicker of confusion and fear flash in them.

"I remember you, you came in to the ward... and you... you bit me." he said slowly and I watched him slowly take a step back from me.

"Yes, I promised your mother I would save you" I said slowly, knowing that was going to be really hard for me and him to get through this.

"But you bit me, and I saw... I felt.." I knew he wanted to say my teeth, in truth I still wanted to hide the truth from him but I could see him still trying to put the clues together.

"But if your dead how could a ghost bite" suddenly, I knew that just with one hint, I managed a sort of smile, letting my fangs come down, the venom turned liquid in my mouth as I held my composure. I watched his eyes falter and thought I heard a sob.

"You are not a ghost are you?-" he said slowly as he continued to back away from me, and I felt myself follow him closer to the mirror.

"What am I?" I breathed slowly as he leaned over to the mirror as sudden anger came into his voice, it was quite erotic but yet so confused as well.

"What the fuck did you do to me!" he said and I watched him shake, as my hand slowly went to his arm, trying to calm him down.

"I am not human" I whispered slowly.. And watched his eyes glitter an even darker green.

"Nor are you, we are not ghosts.. Nor angels... we are something far damned than-" but he cut me off and his fingers dived into my arm as he pushed me away, as the clues coming into his eyes as he looked up at me hatefully.

"_Vampire..."_ he murmured loosely, his control was on thin ice. I could feel him losing it. And as I tried to step closer I heard the sound of breaking glass...

**A/N;**

**Well, what did you think?. Do you like it?**

**Who would you prefer, another Carlisle Pov or Edward's.**

**does curious eddy sound so cute. I know I wonder what is going to happen next, please, please review. And don't you think that the song fit this chapter well?**


	3. Green Eye'd Reflection

**A/N;**

**Thank you so much, for the three reviews that I have gotten. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I have just been so sick to updated, and that makes me sad that that I have to keep you guys waiting.**

**I will be working on this story as well as "MINY". but I am not sure when I can update again, most of the time I am very lazy or sick. this crazy winter weather doesn't seem to be helping in the least. I think i will like to express my views on the whole issue of slash relationships. for one, I, myself, enjoy Carlisle he is amazing to write, and I agree that Edward is set for him, and yet not much of "Edward's" rebellion years is not known of.**

**So this is where I came up along with the help of a few friends, I decided to write the third chapter, with yet again, another Carlisle pov. I will write a/n Edward Pov. but that is going to be later.**

**Ps. I Don't own the I wish I could Own Carlisle :) . But the things I do Own are ; Just the plot :) and the eye color changing method. and the fact that they sleep now. don't kill me :(**

**song;**

**The Feel Good Drag by Anberlin.**

**Chapter 3**

**_Green Eye'd Reflection_**

**Carlisle's Pov.**

Carlisle glanced at the glass around them. ink spots of blood lay in tiny droplets running down Edward's arm. he managed to breathe, as he saw Edward glaring at him. the lightest color of anger pinched his green eyes, like the monster was telling him to lick up the blood with his own tongue.

Carlisle flinched.

The thought of seeing Edward lick up his arm, to even see him tilt his head down. He gulped slowly. before his actions reflected through the eyes of the younger vampire. a shattered bit of confusion sped through the green eyes, and did his eyes deceive him. the thirst was running through them as well. It scared Carlisle that this boy could read his mind,but, yet it excited him none the less.

He moved closer to the boy, and watched Edward squirm a few tendons in his bleeding arm moved slightly.

"Shit" the boy cussed velvety. Which brought back Carlisle to the present, and it brought on the doctor in him. the desire to lick the blood off the boys arm was pushed away as Carlisle searched for some towels to wrap the boys bleeding arm in.

Edward was breathing painfully, he was lusting of the blood ,yes, but it was own and Carlisle saw the fear in him. the older vampire wrapped a struggling arm around Edward and helped him across the bedroom holding a towel onto the wound, to possibably hide the urge to drink from the younger vampire. Carlyle sat him down on one of the stools, and leaned over to find his first aid kit.

"young one, you need to not lose your temper" he murmured lifting the towel and wiping the remaining dried blood from the cut, and began looking for a long band-aid.

"Am I stuck like this?" He asked slowly, as he flinched painfully as another touch from carlisle's fingers ran over the cut, to place the band-aid onto it.

Carlisle smiled softly. the monster inside him was dying to lean in close and seduce the boy into living with him. but that monster was very weak and he knew he would have to explain it without the word "Seducement" in his thoughts.

"The cut is bad" He smiled slowly at the younger vampire, only to receive another ice cold glare from those dazzlingly green eyes. Carlisle couldn't help but smile at the annoyance of this little one.

"I mean about being stuck ... stuck with you?" The boy looked at him, as Carlisle reached up to hold onto the boy's wrist not sure what he was going to do. but it felt like his heart was dying inside the mirrors of the emerald eyes of this young vampire.

"I'm not all that bad, really" He laughed slowly, and watched the boy looked confused at this. Carlisle had the sudden suspicion that Edward was thinking that he would have gladly killed him.

"I was not thinking that all"-Edward protested, a slight smirk ran across his lips. Carlisle groaned knowing he would have to be care full with some thoughts around the younger vampire.

_Including the ones to pull the younger boy to him and kiss him till no end._

"Not all vampires are bad, some vampires don't kill humans, and some vampires get along with them just fine" Carlisle said, watching as the boy pulled his arm away from the soft touches of Carlisle's fingers.

"Those vampires do not exist, I have never read anything about vampires being nice creatures" He laughed, and Carlisle had to stop and smile softly at the boys laughter, it was velvet warm, and almost full of life.

"Do you always believe things you read in books,Edward?" I asked slowly, looking at him curiously. He looked at me like he was insane, but then again even though he was a vampire, he was a teenager. And I knew exactly what teenagers fact their thoughts on. they were also quite gullible.

"Not always, I just need proof for the facts you insist upon throwing at me." He said, folding his legs and it toke all Carlisle's control not to grab his knee and hold it.

"Your looking at one" Carlisle managed to smile, which sent confusion all over Edward's face. his hair running over his left eye and I desperately wanted to run my hand through it and push it back from his face.

"You mean to say that you are a "vegetarian " vampire." He looked at me, those green eyes narrowed, and i folded my arms trying to feel professional and serious. but it was harder than ever to be serious around this boy.

Suddenly the sound of laughter filled the air, and the boys face light up with pure emotional delight. I grew a little annoyed when in fact the monster inside me was rattling its cage wanting me to jump on the younger vampire, and tickle him to make those joyous sounds come from what he was doing to the boy.

"I am, have been since a little while after I was changed. Its not much. but it satisfies me. plus if I wasn't a vegetarian do you think I could do my job, as being the doctor downtown.?" I asked slowly which made his giggles and laughter cease and he looked at me as though he was starting to believe me. but he needed more proof and watched me curiously.

"I hunt animals in the woods, that way when I am around humans I don't have to worry about killing them." Carlisle said matter-o-fact and the younger vampire nodded somewhat believing this.

"Why are your eyes gold?, usually in books after vampires drink blood their eyes turn crimson" It sort of surprised me that this boy knew so much, was he really that observant?. I had tried to look worried before he woke up. which usually made my eyes a normal brown but around him they must have seemed to change to their golden brown color.

"That's humans blood, for some reason, and I can't imagine why, when I drink from the blood of animals my eyes happen to turn gold."-I said slowly and watched him lick his dry lips. the venom was sliding around my mouth.

_oh how I would imagine taking his tongue into my mouth, and kissing him._

I paused slowly scared at myself. I couldn't believe that I would be having thoughts like this of a newly born vampire. much less a boy vampire usually girls were my preferred taste. perhaps this young vampire was different.

Suddenly I looked up into his eyes, and saw that he had the look of have read my thoughts clear as day, and his eyes narrowed and he was looking at me in shock.

"Will I be able to drink blood from animals?" typical question most newly Born's, so I had heard from Arro, were shocked at the thought of drinking from a living creature. Human or less, even though it was our nature to drink blood, that was only one of the truth things about vampire myths that we could say happened or was played out by vampires.

"The urge to drink human blood will be strong in you, so it will be hard for me to take you hunting outside in the forest where some humans happen to live near. plus I don't want to have the trouble of trying to pull you back once you lose yourself to the smell of human blood. but I have to,you are a vampire, and Blood is what we live on-" Carlisle laughed tenderly as he rambled on... Edward raised a Raven black eyebrow.

"Will I be that strong?" He said inquisitively.

"New Born's are until their first year as new Born's is over. than you and I will match up quite nicely in the strength department." Carlisle laughed and smiled. thought he saw the corner of Edward's lips form into a tiny smile.

"What about eye color?, mine are still green." He said and Carlisle felt as though he was playing that ridiculous human game "twenty questions". But He knew that he had to tell his fledging these things that he would need to know in the future.

"First Born's of normal vampire's have their original eye color for about a year, unless they drink human blood on their first hunt. during there second through forth years most "normal" vampires original human eye color begins to change into a deep crimson. and as the years progress they slowly turn to a deep black"

"But why are yours different? and why aren't we considered "normal" vampires?" Edward asked closely, his eyes ruining into the depths of my blue eyes with some sort of curiosity.

"first off I started out with my original eye color. but the more I kept drinking the blood of animals, the more the blood types in my body mixed giving me golden eyes, now if I were to start to drink human blood again than I am sure they would change but.." He cut me off and moved over to me. I looked up and knew if I had been human I would have moved a step back, I could feel his breath almost run over my lips as he sat down beside me, and i turned slightly so that I could face him, still half wondering why he had moved closer.

"Never mind that..."He looked embarrassed and if he could blush I had the distinctive idea that he would have been doing just that.

"So what are other things that vampires are able to do?" he asked, I managed to blink watching those green eyes look into mine. I felt as though I could drown in those emeralds.

"Burn?" He questioned which brought me back to reality.

"No in fact, We don't we sparkle." I would be blushing to at how cheesy that line must have been to him, and a awkward silence past before he continued his allegations.

"Can we run?" He asked slowly, looking away and I watched him sniff the air slightly. I realized that I had opened the midnight window near his bed to let the light of the moon shine down on him when he slept.

I felt the venom rush through my mouth at the thought of me watching him lay in bed, his eyes body moving this way and that. his hair flaring around his pale face, and him moaning strange words in his dreams.. the thought of that nearly made me lust for him completely. but I heard him cough and i managed to look into his green eyes.

"Yes its called "flinting" most vampires can run up to 80-100 miles an hour, hence were faster than cheetahs" I laughed slowly.

"Do we sleep in coffins" I knew he meant to ask that question later but I couldn't help but laugh and put my hand on his shoulder, and I felt a shiver run through him and I at the same time.

"No, We sleep in beds. or any place that we can find that is dark enough." I said slowly. and his eyes moved away from the window to look at me, He was hungry, his green eyes had darkened and I knew he had venom in his mouth, he was trying to hide the taste. but he flinched slowly and I knew he didn't like the taste.

"What is in my mouth?" He gasped slowly and looked at me questioning.

"Venom it is like poison to humans and animals but yet it does nothing to us. it usually comes up when we lose control to our senses when were hunting or hungry or-" but I stopped myself.

_Or when we have have become physically attracted to a younger or older vampire and is lusting for them._

I sighed with relief and blocked the thought. which I had seemed to forget that I could do.

"What were you thinking?" He asked slowly. Oh dear I had been caught, But It just slipped out suddenly a lie.

"How cute you will look when you hunt" I lied and felt him move away a little. and i groaned slightly. internally damning myself for ruining the closeness and making him run away.

"I don't swing that way?" was all he managed to say, but I grabbed his wrist, and he tried to pull away. but my fingers held his chin so that our eyes could connect.

"Edward, I don't think That I swing that way, but to a vampire a mate is a mate" I watched him gulp and then a crooked smile ran across my lips, amusement lay still in his green eyes.

"Were more like acquaintances,I like girls I am afraid." He laughed slowly and I pulled back and laughed along with him. I knew we just were that but for some reason in the back of my mind the monster in me was screaming for me to get to know this boy more and make him my mate if I could, even it was just a partnership as friends.

I looked up slowly as the clock struck midnight, and I watched him flinch and I couldn't help but stiffen a giggle, His green eyes traveled over to mine as his eyes narrowed threateningly.

"It was just a tease, Edward" I managed to sigh as I got to my feet as I watched him do the same to look at himself through the other mirror at the corner of the left side of the bed.

His green eyed reflection was looking at him back, a look of curiosity and thoughts of something I was not fond of was written clear on his face. but as he saw that I was looking his lips went into a crooked smile and I couldn't help but smile back as I leaned down by the broken mirror. He was amused at the thought of me taking a liking to him.

I rolled my eyes as I threw the glass away, and as I turned to face him, I smiled.;

"Time to hunt"- I watched his mouth drop in horror and I couldn't help but give him a devious grin.

_Silly Edward._ I thought._You have a lot to learn._

**A/N;**

**Was it bad or good?. still looking for a beta. Pm me if you are interested. yes the eye color and sleeping thing was my idea but it will make sense more in the plot line later.**

**give me your idea's isn't Edward so cute and adorable? or perhaps is Carlisle having second thoughts. I mean No one can resist Edward cullen? not even the doctor. lol. but for those darker Edward fans don't worry you will get some of that as well, as perhaps a lusty thinking zCarlisle?**

**review me on your thoughts. neg/Pos will be much appreciated**


	4. Angelic

**A/N;**

**I am impressed thanks to many that reviewed! I decided to update, yet I think I write better with Carlisle's Pov. But don't worry friends Edward will be here soon enough.**

**Btw I don't care. I know they didn't have cars till the 1920's but I made it the 1918**

**Thanks to a few select people. I have decided to answer some of your questions; I know most people don't see this pairing very often, so that is why I decided to do. Why?**

**Well I happen to think that Edward and Carlisle are to close [as well as in the movie].which is not bad at all****J****, so I thought I would write it. With a little help from a few friends ****J**

**Btw; no real animals were hurt during the making of this chapter .**

**Song;**

**Not alone by All That Remains.**

"_By the touch of your hand, I am whole again."_

**Chapter 4**

_**Angelic.**_

**Carlisle's Pov;**

I leaned against the door at the east entrance of the mansion, waiting for the young one to put on one of my coats from the closet. He was still weird around me; it was though the prospect of hunting was everything absurd. I watched his green eyes flick up to mine as he buttoned up the last button of the small black jacket he was wearing.

"You ready, eddy?" I said grinning, and watched as his hand, which was running through his bed-ridden hair, freeze. His eyes connected with mine. A silent glare ran through them, along with the hint of hunger that I knew was running through him, as well.

"Don't call me eddy" he whispered and headed out of the open door, and I merely chuckled behind him. I lead him around the house towards the garage, where, my old ford was sitting. He noticed it slowly and then looked at me.

"You don't run to work?" he asked slowly, I looked at him with a soft smile.

"Would it not look weird, if you saw a doctor running up to the hospital at un-human like speeds?" I questioned and saw him roll his eyes, as he leaned in to open the door, almost pulling it off its hinges.

"Hey, this is a nice piece of machinery!" I said opening the door for him, as he backed away slowly. His eyes, still not seeming to lift from my gold ones, and got into the seat next to me, as I followed the paths that lead deeper into the woods around our house.

I could feel him watching my every move; it was kind of dispencedfull, yet quite satisfying that he was a very curious vampire.

"What animals do you prefer?" he asked me slowly as he turned to look towards me. I looked away, still perfectly able to see the road from the rear side mirror.

"Me? Usually deer or elk" I pondered slowly and smiled at him, I watched a small tint of his face light up just a little, as he continued to move near the window more.

"Will I find you, after I hunt?" he asked again, I began wondering if he asked this many questions as a human boy.

"Just read my mind, little one" I whispered as we pulled into a clearing, the morning sun was rising to the east and looked as though it was coming towards us very quickly. He looked at me slowly, and then around us. The jacket was sticking to his skin, because of the dampness of the weather that was around us, I had to admit my eyes could not manage to look away for a moment.

"I'll meet you back here in an hour."- I said slowly, and moved back watching if he would make the first move towards the hunting part of the "hunt". He just looked at me, almost nervous and not sure what to do. I laughed slowly and flinted towards him, which made him jump back slightly.

I laughed softly, and thought perhaps I saw a smile crooked smile run across his lips.

"Shall you want to go with me, for a lesson in hunting?" I asked smoothly as he looked up at me.

Edward and I seemed to have just stood there, looking into the older or younger vampire counterparts eyes. I leaned in closer almost lost in thought, before I felt his breath hitch and he pulled back.

"I suppose" he muttered slowly, looking down at the damp ground that was crunching underneath his shoes. I turned my back away from him and started my walking towards the woods.

"Let your mind disappear, little one and follow me" I said slowly and felt him start to follow me. As I breathed in the scent, and felt a deer very near close to me. I felt my body contort into a crouch and I began to run, hearing small footsteps behind me, I turned my head back, as I was running and I saw the most wonderful grin on a person.

He loved the hunt, already and we didn't even catch the animal. His eyes were now dark green. But yet he wasn't trying to run away from me. He was following me as though my instructions to him were law.

_It excited and compelled me. _

I listened to his foot steps as he came along beside me. I watched the smirk around his lips, as we headed toward the deer, I watched it come in view and I watched him hiss with blood lust. The hunger in his eyes was too much to bear, as he began running faster than I ever thought possible and he headed toward the deer seeming to be laughing at me.

I laughed back as I watched with his fingers collapsed around the innocent deer's neck and I heard a loud snap and blood ran down his fingers and wrist. I heard a growl escape from my own mouth as I felt my body pound and raced towards him, my body colliding with his, but he managed to hold on as he put the deer's neck to his mouth, and began to drink.

His gold eyes flashed into my gold ones as I felt my fingers resting on his arm, seeing him drink was something I couldn't fathom with any of my being. He looked up at me slowly, as he finished. Blood running down his chin, as he grinned up me. Allowing the last drop of blood for me.

_The way he looked at me, like we were more than just companions'… _

I blinked suddenly drinking, he watched me while cleaning his lips and chin. His eyes slowly melting into a honey green. And a smile etched his face as I finished the innocent deer and laid him onto the ground and we both got to our feet. The motions of what just happened sank in, and I was looking at him as though he would break down.

He looked up at me frowning slightly. I leaned forward as my feet moved an inch or two towards him. Suddenly as though his moods changed... or perhaps he was what they had called some patients "bi polar". His crooked smile ran across his face, and he crouched low and said.

"Race you back" and with UN manly like effort he sped toward the bushels of trees. I laughed softly and started walking, looking around as the sun glittered down over the tree tops and on soft layers of my skin, which seemed to glimmer.

I would let him get ahead of me to the point where he would stop curiously, and I whizzed past him, watching the element of surprise spread across his facial features. I began running; the tree seemed to be moving past me as I went. I felt the delight of the run, as the light shined below my feet from the sun.

I saw the car sitting just at the forests edge. I froze suddenly, and gasped in a quick surprise.

The young one was leaning against the car, already. Seeming to look bored, but once he noticed me a crooked smile ran across his lips. The light from the sun seemed to make his darkened hair, a bright Auburn bronze now. The light also stood on his cheeks and arms, seeming to give him the element of some kind of angel.

_Well in my mind, he was one, but how could he be so fast? I have never seen someone moved as fast as this young one?_

I thought slowly as I stood in front of him, hearing a slight chuckle escape from his lips.

"I believe they would call it, talent, C_arlisle"-_ he spoke my name with a soft innocence and in my mind I liked it, I liked it a lot.

I knew he was morel like a son to me, if I in fact thought of him that way. I laughed softly as I opened my door, watching him do the same.

"Then again, in the years I have been alive, they would call it "old" age." I heard his soft musical laugh echo as we both got into the small black vehicle. He was quiet as we headed toward the mansion, I looked over at him. His arms were folded and he seemed to be thinking, as his head leaned back against the seat.

"What are you thinking?" I murmured surprising myself. His didn't move but I thought I saw him smile.

"How different and exhilarating that felt" he paused slightly, as if wanting to continue but thought better about.

"Did you not like the running?" I asked as we pulled into the garage, and I opened my car door and looked at him with eagerness. _Well mostly curiosity_

He laughed another musical laugh_._

"I liked the running; it was beyond anything that I have ever felt." He said as we walked towards the house. I looked at him slowly, and saw his eyes glaze over, and then he turned his head quickly as though trying not to blush.

"_Thank you Carlisle"_ he whispered in his mind to me. I beamed slowly as my arm, wrapped around his shoulders. He looked up, surprised, by the simple touch.

"Your welcome young one" I whisper slowly, and smiled tenderly, as I removed my arm uneasily and went to get my key.

"So if you're my sire, how come I know so little about you?" he pondered, as we went inside and pulled his jacket off, putting it up one of the many hangers that I had. I noticed the white shirt he had borrowed of mine, was clinging to his skin.

I gulped.

"Well, I don't know much about you Edward" I laughed and pinched his cheek and headed toward the kitchen, for a simple glass of water. I saw out of the corner of my eye him rubbing his cheek. I felt him moving behind me, as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Fine, I'll go first" he smirked tenderly, and I looked up from my glass of water and couldn't help but stand there and listen to him.

Edward paused, and looked at me curiously. Perhaps wondering if I was really going to listen, but he opened his mouth and began, almost as if he knew something that I didn't, almost as if he secretly knew that I wanted to Hear everything.;

**A/n;**

**Well? Did you like the hunting scene? No lemony like freshness in this chapter I am afraid. But I am excited to know what you think will be Edward's past… I am excited to write it, I have some ideas for it.**

**Isn't Carlisle so sweet? Anyways review my loves.**


	5. Explanations From the Dead

**Yet, another amazing chapter. Well so yeah, I want to say thank you for all the reviews I got, you're all a big inspiration to me. Esp. you Carlisle fans, without out you I would be just another fan girl. ****And now for Edward's past. Now this is my story, so I make the rules. I just happen to not own any of the characters.****And I would like to thank everybody that has favored this one and Miny, without you fans well. lol I would still be a dopy mopy girl :). and the candy store idea was taken from a good friend of mine, so he gets all the props.**_**Chapter Dew's; Will-I-Am Darling and Kay Kay and yes even my old bestie David, who's seemed to always be there for me, no matter what :)**_

**Song;**

**40 z by Brokencyde.**

**Chapter 5**

_**Explanations from the Dead**_

**  
Carlisle's Pov;**

He sat merely inches from me, his feet dangling off the stool. His fingers running through his bronze colored hair, his eyes watching me, he had started explaining to me about his father Anthony. He had been in the military, and he had met Edward's mother, when the war was over. Elizabeth was supposed to be a playful thing, but in my personal opinion she had been calm and collective.

_Just like her son._

"My mother was the sweetest thing, she was never to tough on me, like my father was." He said slowly, he must have been reading my mind, as a small smirk ran across his lips.

I looked away, feeling quite anxious around this kid. It seemed as though I was a little kid standing a candy shop, and looking at one of the delicious candy pieces in the store.

"Do you have any siblings?" I asked slowly, moving my eyes to his, he gasped a little bit, as though they were a little too bright for his comfort.

"I had a little sister, but sadly she died just before I turned eight" he said, seeming to get cold on the subject.

"I am not cold on that subject, she died of a mishap. And I was blamed by my father for years" he said, his eyes darkening to a deep green.

"You were blamed" I almost hissed, the urge to run my fingers up his cheek. To show him that I was not ashamed of him was getting harder to ignore.

"Yes, my sister Mattie and I were outside by the pond. I was seven at the time, and she was about five, anyway we were playing by the pond outside of our house, and she tripped and fell in, she didn't even scream. And by the time I turned around from laughing at a joke she told me. It was too late" – he cut off and looked away.

I swore I thought I saw two lonely tears, running inside his eyes, as though they were ready to fall at any minute.

I jumped out of my seat, with my stool falling to the ground, I watched him freeze at the sudden movement. My hand collided with his cheek, as I leaned forward,

"Carlisle-"he breathed my name, bringing me back to reality. I froze slowly, realizing that I had moved, without even thinking.

"I don't blame you Edward, But please continue" I pulled back and leaned down and picked up my chair, he was watching me with some unique fashion in his eyes.

"I hid for along time in my room, holding my sisters lifeless wet body, I remember just crying and crying. When my father came up and saw it" he cringed again, and I felt my fingers twitch with slight anger.

"My sister Mattie was taken to the morgue, I didn't speak to anyone, except when my father blamed it on me, blaming me and saying things like, I was nothing, that I-" he choked on what seemed like a sob.

_Do something. Come on!, look at the poor boy…_

I froze trying to calm the anger, which was boiling up inside me. I saw Edward run a hand through his hair, and laugh a simple laugh.

"Well, after a while my father left my mother, I admitted that I was angry as I watched leave with some other women. But I knew that I would take care of my mother, and I got a job working at a recreation camp when I was fifteen. "

I looked at him slowly, his smile never dropping from his lips. That was why he was so mature he had to grow up at such a young age.

"Me, Mature? You must be joking" he laughed listening to my thoughts; I managed a smile, practically eager to hear more.

"Around the time was about to turn seventeen, that's when the Spanish influenza hit, and my mother started coughing all the time." He began slowly,

"I thought it was the cold, a simple remedy to get rid of, but after a few weeks, it didn't go away, and I watched my mother slip before me. She was getting paler, and eating less. But yet she had become mature and strong, just like I was becoming"

I let him pause slowly, my hands rubbing together in a mere frustration. He was watching me curiously before he continued;

"Just a few days ago, she was taken to the hospital" he mumbled slowly, his green eyes going a shade darker.

"You know the rest-"he finished and looked at me, and ran his hand through his hair again. I couldn't help grin; he looked sexy and quite adorable when he did that. I watched his eyes widened as though he read my mind.

_He didn't freeze, or smirk. He merely smiled as though he agreed with it…_

"So what about you? Sire?" he teased slowly and he got to his feet stretching, I watched my shirt tighten against his skin, and I felt the venom in my mouth boil with hunger.

"Does your father still live?" I asked merely and he seemed a little surprised at the question, but a small frown came onto his lips.

"He is still living, North of here with his new wife, I believe" He said his eyes narrowing as though he was going through the motions of why I had asked.

"When did you last see your father?" I smirked tenderly, and I watched his eyes widened as though he knew what I was going to say.

"When I turned 11, it's been 6 years since then"- He said slowly and then I moved over to him, and without any reservation on my part I ran my fingers through his hair, it was very silky and I wanted to grip it.

I heard him purr almost immediately and then groan as I leaned down to him, stopping my fingers from getting lost in his bronze silk. his eyes widened a little more, and they glazed over a little bit before;

"Are you insane?" He said in an angered velvet voice.

It was my turn to give him a crooked smile, although I knew it wasn't as dazzling as his was going to be after I told him my plan. I smiled slowly this time for affect and gave him a laugh

"_Silly Edward, Were inviting him here"_ at this I swear he moved his head to look up at mine as he had been looking at the floor from the point after this.

"Him… come …here?" He gasped slowly, and looked at me curiously as though wanting to hear more.

"Yeah, I think a reunion is in order" I smiled mischievously. he looked at me still a little shock, but the pain that suddenly flooded onto his face ,stopped my smile and I turned to him concerned.

"But he hates me" He said softly. I cupped his chin in my hand, bringing our eyes to look up at eachothers.

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you while I am around" I watched him shiver slightly at the closeness of us. I could feel something run through me, it was like an electric shock of love. I leaned back and ruffled his hair.

"But what will we cook?, won't it be odd to them if we don't eat?" He asked slowly as I turned the chair so that I was facing him, his knee's bumping slightly into mine.

I laughed tenderly, and watched a look of confusion come onto his face.

"Edward, I will teach you how to cook, you don't think just because I am 300 years old that at some point I didn't learn to cook?" I smiled slowly as he looked at me astounded.

"300?" I smirked tenderly at him.

"Don't I look young?" I teased him tenderly, tapping my index finger on his nose, and felt his body shiver tenderly, and then his musical laugh lifted into the air.

"Easily 32" He guessed my human age quiet nicely, I was a little surprised. and then he gave a mock of stern on his face.

"What do you mean, you will teach me how to cook?" He said, smirking softly.

"Well, I doubt they taught you how to cook at your manor house" I said tenderly, running my hand over his cheek. he snorted slowly and i knew that I had one the battle for his heart, for now..

.....

I lay a Clothing for him to wear for the night in the guest room, and he came out of the bathroom, and looked around at my guest bedroom.

"Its so damp, and boring" He mused, teasingly me lightly. I pinched him on the arm.

"Tomorrow, While I am out I can go some place for decorations for it, since you seem to be so pundent about it" I smiled back, and pulled the covers back and looked at him.

"Can't I come?" He asked slowly as he flicked on one of the candles with a match, beside his bedside table. I looked over at him, his face glowing in the reflection of the candles glow. he stretched slowly and leaned under the covers messing with the pillows, he watched me as I turned from the door knob to look at him.

"Not Yet. I do trust you Edward, Its just I want to surprise you." and I did the most astonishing thing, and winked at him. I watched him look away as though if he could blush, he would be doing so.

"Nite... Carlisle" He muttered still looking away, I went out and shut the door. Whispering so quietly to myself.

"_Goodnight, Edward"-_

**A/N;**

**Oh my god, how adorable is that?. so what did you think of the Eddy Fluff?. Thanks to Michelle for that idea of the "losing" control issues that Carlisle Has with Edward.**

**BTW I named Edward's Dad Anthony b/c of Edward's Middle Name, I thought it only fitting? lol**

**Oh and I am sorry if you don't like my version of Edward's Past. What are your predictions for the chapter ahead?. I am dying to know. and won't it be fun to see Carlisle Teach young Eddy to cook.**

***wink***

**:) Review!!**


	6. Built for sin

**Well everyone, have you missed me? I can't believe that I have gotten this many reviews, and I proud to say that it's all thanks to you that MINY and the dark years have been such a success. BTW my team the Steelers won the super bowl. [6 times now!]**

**Oh and I would like to reply to the person that said I wasn't do my story write, and the fact that they **_**sleep. **_**Well this is **_**my **_**story. So **_**I **_**make the rules ****J**

**Thanks to all of you that have given ideas, **_**especially to Sage punk **__**J**__** who has inspired me to write another good fluffy scene between our beloved characters**_

**Anyways, I have decided to make this a long chapter. What with the cooking scene and Edward's dad visiting!!!.****Also :_I have a request, if you make a trailer for the dark years and post it on you tube, and show me. i will dedicated this *WHOLE STORY* to you, and make you a character in this. please :)_**

**Warning; Fluffiness ****J**

**I hope you enjoy this as much as I will write it.****I own nothing, not even the quote .****Well I do own the plot line, Edward's Dad and Green eyes.**

**Song;**

**Built for sin by Framing Hanley.**

"_I look at my… son. His strength, his goodness, the brightness that shines out of him—and it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever. How could there not be more for one such as Edward?"_

**Chapter 6**

_**Built for sin**_

**Carlisle's Pov;**

I leaned against the counter of the local picture shop, glancing behind the small women at the array of piano pictures, in truth Edward was probably up in the house by now, waiting patiently for me to come and visit him.

The women held out two frames with pianos and music notes on them. I didn't know why I picked them. They just seemed to remind me of Edward.

I stepped out onto the street and headed towards my car. Chicago looked kind of like the old city of Italy. I remember it very clearly, winding roads of cobblestone and children waving little red flags.

Aro, Caius and Marcus seemed to disagree on my lifestyle but that didn't mean that they haunted me for it. When I had left Aro said that we would meet up some day, and I wanted to show them Edward.

After all they were the only friends I had ever had, besides my dead human friends that is. and perhaps Edward, but I never really thought of him as a friend.

I began driving, watching some kids on the corner smoking a packet of cigarettes with smiles on their faces; they would never make it to there thirties if they kept doing that. I thought solemnly.

I pulled up to the mansion and saw two lights were on in the front of the house and I smiled to myself, easily wondering what young Edward was occupying his time with.

I moved up the yard, holding onto the two pictures tightly as I made it to the door, I reached for my key, before, the door opened to reveal Edward standing there in utter amusement.

He looked Beautiful standing there in a lose shirt, with low cut jeans that showed the beginning of his hips that seemed to curve slightly in a V leading down to show a little light brown hair.. I froze and looked up and started to laugh, his hair was so messed; up fling this way and that, I couldn't help it, and he was positively...

_Cute..._

He looked at me oddly as I stepped inside. he grabbed one of the paintings from underneath my arm and looked at it, I suddenly felt so nervous. He was looking at it with such seriousness; I wondered if he hated it.

"No, I love it actually" he smiled quickly and winked at me, as I stood there still somewhat surprised that he was already reading my mind.

I smiled as I put my coat up and handed him the one with musical notes on it. "Do you like music?" I couldn't help but ask as he looked at it.

His green eyes connected with mine, they were a light green. Warm and sleepy looking.

Suddenly a crooked smile ran over his lips as he yawned as well, faking light boredom.

"Yes actually, I play piano as well" he said sitting down the portraits at the end of the hall near the stairs leading to the upstairs. I watched him my eyes couldn't help but stroll down him, the light curve of his back showed through his shirt.

The venom ran free in my mouth as he turned around and I managed to move closer to him, right near the entrance to the brightly light living room.

"So, are you going to teach me to cook today?" he seemed shy to ask me that, his eyes carefully avoiding mine in his nervousness.

I smiled to myself as I looked at him, and grinned slowly. As I leaned closer to him and felt him fake a breath at the closeness of us.

"Of course we are expecting company, are we not?" this time his eyes moved to mine, a look of pain running through them. I decided to change the subject, for the point being at least.

"So what kind of music do you like?" I smiled and moved over to the couch, inviting him over with such reverence.

He looked at me, that smile coming across his face as he gently sat down beside me, running his fingers through his hair, biting his lips.

"I prefer Classical, mostly" he said seriously.

"Do you like Bach?" I asked slowly interested as I leaned my elbow to rest on the couch and laid my hand against my cheek, knowing I would be waiting to get to know more about my fledgling.

"I prefer Mozart, and Debussy" he said slowly, looking at the curve of my arm, and grew even more pale. We were so close. I could almost feel his breath on my lips.

"What do you prefer, Carlisle?" he said my name slowly, tenderly and I smiled to myself at other thoughts that seemed to bring me and him up, when he managed to say my name with such affliction and Affection.

"I prefer; Bach and Mendelssohn" I said truthfully, _perhaps anything by them I would so love to get my hands on_. I finished in my mind hoping that he would read it; it seemed to thrill me that he could read the words that I would probably never say.

Suddenly the clock on the wall chimed noon, and I smiled tenderly as I stretched my arm and got to my feet and held out my hand.

"We should start cooking, my little rookie" it was my turn to wink as his hand grabbed mine, I felt a wave of electricity run through it with such force that I couldn't help hearing his slight gasp. Perhaps he had felt it too.

I helped him to his feet and walked to the kitchen, knowing that he was following me. I smiled to myself and then turned around to face him by the counter; he was looking at me with a slight smile on his lips.

"What shall we cook?" I said leaning down to get the cook book, and placed it on the counter that separated us. I watched his fingers curl around the book as he turned it around to face him, he was looking serious again.

He opened it, his fingers skimming the pages so tidily, what I wouldn't give to hold them with my own fingers, feel the warmth that ran between us.

"This "he said slowly and pointed to a bowl of rice with yellow sauce and sautéed shrimp. I had never cooked seafood but I managed to have some in the freezer,

_This was going to be an interesting day_…

A few minutes later, I had everything that we needed and was watching Edward stir the sugar with the pudding mix together in a bowl. It was interesting; he looked very serious as though the thought of making mistakes was out of the question.

I leaned up, my chest against his back and I leaned over him "your doing it wrong, dear" and I grabbed the spoon and began mixing it the other way, making it much faster. I pushed up against him to get a better angle, and felt my body tremor with such emotions I had not felt in years.

I felt his back tense at the closeness and I looked down at the curve of his neck and was dying to run my lips down it. I froze at the thought and thought I heard him whisper something but I wasn't sure what.

He placed the bowl down, letting the mixture twirl around and he didn't move, I wanted him to push back against me. He gasped softly as I leaned back; the warmth of his back was gone.

I looked at the next ingredient that we needed to add, and I could feel his eyes staring at me, and my pants seemed to tighten at the thought o of his eyes moving down my body_... oh how i wished it.…_

"Shrimp sauce; two pints of vinegar" I recited slowly, running my finger across the line and then motioned to the fridge to him, I watched him, with amazing speed rush and soon was standing near me with the vinegar in his hand.

Our fingers brushed as he handed me the ingredient and managed to smile and I looked down as I poured it into the bowl with eggs and spices...

"Do you want to mix that?" he questioned and I looked at him smiling, and pushed the bowl over to him.

"Be my guest" I said inviting him more than I should have, he toke the spoon from beside me and began to stir it, I could see him watching me, and I managed to look down, his pants were a little tighter than I thought, wait weren't those mine.

Suddenly I saw a hint of a smirk run across his lips, as he finished and managed to spill some of the concoction on his fingers and he looked at me, almost if he was mentally asking me too…

I froze and looked away, pretending to be reading the book for the rest of the recipe, but my eyes were staring as he gently began cleaning his fingers, running them over his lips.

I nearly grabbed the counter for support, the urge to jump on him, and tease him till the world ended around us was maddening. I worried to myself, how with a simple look he could send my control crashing.

He finished and pours the concoction over the mixture of warm shrimp, and smiled proudly of himself, before I heard the buzzer. The oven was done rising the dough, for the bread sticks. I rushed to the door, but he was thinking of trying to go there and I felt him crash against my chest. I breathe heavily, as I felt him against me.

The scent of shrimp drifted from him, but his hair smelled like honey as I ran a relaxing hand through mine, and he recovered standing there awkwardly. I watched him move back over to the counter holding the bread.

I spent most of those three hours, watching the one I was beginning to fall for, cook and prepare everything.

….

It was nearly 8 o'clock and I had received word that Anthony and his way Marie were on there to visit us, I had convinced him by saying that his only heir wished to speak to him.

I sat in the drawing room haven changed into a nice black shirt, with tailored pants and I was lacing my fingers around waiting for Edward to come down from changing.

I had given Edward a few choices of what to wear, being a vampire for this long I had seen many wardrobes that fit just fine, they were just a little big on him , but for some reason they seemed to snug against the most Alluring places.

"Carlisle" His velvet voice entered the dinning hall, and I smiled to myself as I got to my feet and walked in to the opening of the dinning hall and gasped softly as the light hit on him.

Edward was standing there in that black tux, that I had received from Aro from my 295 birthday, looking like an angel. His hair was still a mess but it still was gelled and his eyes seemed to glow in the sunlight.

"I need help with my tie" he mused suddenly trying to fix the messed up tie, it made me laugh out loud as I moved to him and smiled pleasantly.

"I never wore ties with mum" he said again as my fingers went near his neck, to redo his tie, I was so close to him. I could feel the urge rushing through me, as the scent of honey and vine hit me with such stunning force.

"I used to have trouble with them, as well" I said trying to be conversational.

I looked at him as my fingers stopped fix his tie, our eyes connected with something I couldn't fathom, i grab his chin with my index finger bringing his face close to mine and I could feel the breath of him on my lips, the hunger rising as I bent my head-

Knock.

we pulled away quickly and he didn't even look at me as he said;

"Ill be in the living room" he said and he dashed quickly towards the other room, I heard the monster inside me swear with anger but the other side of me felt the pain that I had tried to... well I didn't know what had come over me.

I walked to the main door and swung it open. Anthony was staring at me. I was looking at the face of a taller and older looking Edward, his brown eyes glanced around and a frown seemed to be permanently etched to his face. I looked down as I let them in, the women beside him had black hair and cold grey eyes, they looked to be in there mid forties.

"Dr. Cullen" Anthony said with a half smile that didn't touch his eyes.

"Please call me Carlisle" I said smoothly to him, as I touched his hand, his wife gasped at my pale skin and said nothing as I let go and Anthony seemed to notice that I was looking at his wife.

"This is my wife Bella"- He said and she managed a weak smile, how much she looked familiar.

"Welcome to my home Bella" I said with sincerity as I watched her look around at the perorations of things around the walls and then she looked back at me with another soft smile. I saw Anthony look at me almost coldly before asking;

"You said my son is staying with you?" His tone has no emotion, simply business-like. I smiled tenderly and pointed them towards the living room and with a controlled voice I said

"He's in the living room"- We all three walked into the living room, a chair was backed to the fire and I chuckled slowly at Edward's idea of scaring the wits out of his father.

"Sit please, I am sure Edward will be down soon" I then said noticing that the chair was empty and watched Anthony turn it as he sat next to his wife, she seemed to weak and fragile to sit next to this evil looking man.

"Actually Carlisle I am right here"- Edward's smirk was addressed in his tone and I saw his father's eyes widened just a little, I turned slowly as Edward came beside me, he indeed had a smirk on his lips, but his eyes were a dark green and he was looking at his father.

"Hello Father"- He mused slowly and sat next to me, on the other side of the couch, folding his legs and I saw the generation of the masen's look at each other with positive hatred, more so from his father than Edward himself.

"Can I get you some food, some shrimp perhaps?" I asked casually more to mrs. masen than her husband, she tried to open her mouth but Edward's father cut in

"Bella, I don't think we are staying that long, we only came here for business, this not a casual call, " he said rudely and she quieted, I wanted so badly to drain him dry, and the thought of that scared me, I couldn't believe that gentle Edward was born from this rude bastard.

"So you wanted to discuss the family heir replacement"- Anthony said slowly and glared at his eldest son, with what could only be described. did he really hate him so much for the incident with Mattie.

_Actually, he is hating the fact that I want to hand over my inheritance to my mother's family._ I heard Edward's soft voice whisper to me in my mind, I had managed to keep a straight face at that prospect.

"Yes, I think my real mother and her family should take my money" Edward said seriously, which only added the anger to his fathers eyes.

"Why, you are my only heir." he said nearly insulted "Surely you have had time to-" but it was Edward's turn to cut him off.

"I think my mothers family is more respectable, then giving the money to my hypo critic father" He stated and I heard Bella gasp beside of Anthony and I turned my head to try and not smile.

"Doe's this have anything to do with your sudden interest in living with this man?" He asked almost accusingly and my eyes moved back over to his. they were smirking almost as if he had thought that we-.

I felt the monster suddenly jumping in its cage, begging for release to teach this man manners.

"No, Carlisle has nothing to do with my Descion Father, I am just tired of being looked down upon by you. my cousin is well potent to take the Ma-sen Inheritance"- He said formally it was if a different Edward was speaking.

"I will not allow such behavior from my son" He growled, and I watched bella put a hand to his shoulder, but he seemed to not recover. much less notice the small calm gesture that she had showed him.

"Your son, How dare you think of him like that- I felt Edward tense beside me, and I froze realizing that I had spoken, I saw his father look at me with some anger and confusion.

"He is my son, even if he maybe not the suitable son-" I cut him off, the anger in me was rushing through the surface and I couldn't help but laugh coldly and his wife looked at me in shock.

Suitable?, He is a perfect son it is you that treated him like shit." I managed and felt Edward staring at me, and his father got to his feet.

"Never the less," He tried to speak.

"Your not a good father, and I feel sorry for this women; she married someone cold and stiff." I Managed to smile apologetically. and he helped her to her feet.

"Anthony-" she muttered trying to keep the peace between us.

"I will not allow him to give up his inheritance up to his mother's family, its the last remaining part of the family" He said firmly and looked at his son. " If he hadn't killed his sister, we wouldn't be here to discuss-" but it was Edward's turn to contradict him.

"Kill?, It was an accident father you know I would have never hurt Mattie."- He said on his feet, his body shaking with anger. I realized that this was so not good.

"Liar." He growled at his son. and I growled back slowly moving in front of Edward, surprising him and myself at the same time.

"Get Out!, if you so much as come near him I will have to sue you Mr. Ma-sen" He seemed appalled as ever, and looked at me as his wife trembled slowly next to him.

"Don't threaten me..." The man yelled. I could only see red and as I moved forward I threatened him again this time I was going to make sure that Edward would be mine... forever.

"Get out, your not his family."- and with every ounce of strength and of control I motioned them to leave, and with a angry glare and a squeal from his wife Anthony moved out of the room yelling.

"This is not over Cullen"- I heard the door shut, and realization ran over my face. I looked back to find Edward wasn't anywhere in the room. I froze and felt sadness that I had offended him some how.

I heard a door shut upstairs, and sighed.

_I had to make it up to him, didn't he know that what I had said was the truth?_

I moved towards the stairs, making my way toward either my doom or my heaven...

**A/n;**

**Well?, Did you like it?, wasn't there enough fluffy and drama in this.? by the way don't forget about the you tube trailer. let me know if you guys are interested in it.**

**I wanna know what you think of Edward's dad, and his idea to give up his inheiratance. I wonder what made edward leave???**

**Eeek. tell me what you think, I hope it wasn't to long :)**


	7. Beauty after Midnight

**Hey everyone, well I am back, and thanks for the tons of reviews, you guys are totally amazing.**

**I was on a writer's block. But thanks to many people, who, have persistently bugged me to do another one these you can thank them.**

**I was a little disappointed about the YouTube thing, no body wanted to do a trailer for it, ****L****. But anyways this chapter is dedicated to **_**Sage punk**_**; who still makes me laugh with her reviews.****And yes, I love to write innocent Edward. Even the in MINY; I write a Dark Edward, how funny is that? Oh and btw sometime up ahead, I will be doing Edward's Pov, what do you guys think?**

**But this chapter song was so hard to pick. But I was listening to my favorite band, Three Days Grace, and I came up with this song.**

**Song;**

**Wake up by Three Days Grace.**

_Wake up; I'm pounding on the door._

_I am not the man I was before._

_Where the hell are you when I need you?_

**Chapter 7**

_**Beauty after Midnight**_

**Carlisle's Pov**

I knocked on Edward's door, hearing nothing but the sound of soft breaths, and sighs come from inside the room. I ran my hand over the door knob and turned it, it slide open and I let go, letting the door open;

The room was lit up with candles, but the sound of the thunder and lightning, flashed across the window to reveal in the darkness, a figure sitting on the bed, I froze suddenly as the shadow crashed across Edward's face.

I hadn't come up to his room after his father had left mere hours ago, I retreated to my library and sat in on of the mini desks to think of things to say to Edward, but nothing spilled out quite clearly.

Edward was laying on the bed, curled up into a ball, one hand lay across his chest, the other leaning out onto the pillow his palm up, his fingers curled slightly. I felt my dead heart almost jump out at me.

The shadows cross the lines of his face, the hair around it was spattered out in different patterns, and it looked positively messy. My eyes moved lower; he toke off his tuxedo top, to reveal a light white buttoned up shirt, and his pants hung low to his hips.

I wondered how long had it been since he fallen asleep, perhaps I would stand here by the door and watched him sleep, everything about this young one seemed to fascinate me.

I moved to turn to leave, when a velvet sigh crossed the room and his voice echoed in the dimness of the room.

"If you want to talk, I am awake"- he said, one eye opened; to reveal a misty green eye. I froze and turned around, the door shut softly at the motion that I had created.

"I-"I paused not being able to bring up, what I had gone over in my mind; before I had made it to his room. I thought I saw a shadow of a smile, but I couldn't have been sure.

"You what?" yes, he was definitely teasing me now. I was a grown man and yet trying to look at him with seriousness seemed to shatter, as if I was a young school boy talking to my crush at recess.

"I wanted to apologize for tonight -"but this time he leaned up and was sitting Indian style, looking at me with such amusement on his face; it seemed to confuse me.

"No, I was impressed with what you said; I never had anyone stand up to my father like that for me, well except Mattie." He paused slowly, as I raised an eyebrow.

"Then why did you-"but again he cut me off, still the amusement ran in his tone even more than before.

"I almost wanted to kill him, I almost lost control, and the smell of her blood was intoxicating, I thought it best that I leave"- he paused slowly, giving me time to notice how his eyes were flickering from light to dark green.

I was a little shocked that a boy of his age seemed to want to control his emotions around humans with not having help from his sire, or perhaps another vampire in this case. It was if he wanted to be able to not live in fear of the monster that he was.

"I am impressed "was all I could manage to say. I watched a crooked smile run over his face as he threw his legs over the side of the bed, trying to stand. He looked clumsily at me. He must have been tired.

"Well, I should be thanking you for teaching me," he said in mock enjoyment. That smile seemed to never leave his lips as he walked a step towards me.

I felt the venom in my mouth rise as I turned to look at his right wall. There were the paintings I had bought from the store; they seemed to compliment the white walls with the mixture of black in them.

_Carlisle._

I heard his voice in my head and I turned slowly, he was leaning a little, his arms folded and his expression was utterly serious. I began to agree that this young one was definitely a moody one.

"Yes?" I said smiling; it was a little shocking that he didn't smile back. That serious frown never left his face.

"Why did you say it though, I mean I am glad for the gesture but; I really can take of my self with him."- He voiced and I heard the monster in me growl. He said he was impressed and now he was saying that he could have done it by himself, what did he mean by that.

"I said it because I am your friend, and I will be here to help you with anything"- it was more an invitation to many things that I knew he would see through it. But my heart was hoping that he wouldn't.

"Carlisle, I have said this once before-"I gasped softly and held out a hand in front of him, causing his voice to cease. I knew what he was going to say and it was going to hurt, so I would let it down gently.

But then my mind began to wonder, as I often did this day. Why did he not pull away when I was helping him in the kitchen, and why before did he not lean away from when I was trying to-.

"I know what you are going to say, but I don't think you mean it" I said. instead it was my turn to see if he was lying to me, I was not going to give up some simple hope. Or even worse I didn't want him to play with my emotions.

"What do you think I was going to say" he looked at me with confusion, and this confused me, but I changed expressions from confusion into ignorance something I never usually showed in my expressions.

"That you are not that way" I said slowly, and it was my turn to frown as the young one seemed to flinch, his eyes moving back to a dark green with nothing but illusion in them or so it seemed.

"That is true" he paused saying truthfully, but he was biting his lip, which was a motion of lying or perhaps confusion.

_Maybe that's why he didn't back away from you before._

_Because he's confused on his feelings…_

That thought seemed to make me smile, he looked at me oddly. But I recovered and tried to hide my smile with narrowed eyes, and I brushed off his comment with reverence.

"Are you sure?" I pondered knowing that it was wrong to tease him into confusion, but he looked cute standing there biting his lip.

"Yes" He muttered slowly and turned to face the window.

_Bingo!_

I sighed and moved over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. The smell of sweat brushed across my nose, and I wanted to lean my nose into his neck, to perhaps find other smells about him.

I felt him shiver underneath my touch, his breath sliding out into the air; I wondered why he was breathing even though we didn't necessarily need to.

He looked up into the clouds, and I felt him almost move out of the small gesture with my hand, I couldn't fight the urges and without thought I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me.

"If you didn't like the closeness, why didn't you say anything"- at this I saw his own eyes narrow, but I glared at him back.

"I didn't say that-"he mused slowly, and I couldn't help but grip his arm tightly and moved my head to the side and rolled my eyes.

"Then what did you mean? Why did you agree with saying that you don't go that way? Why are you lying?" I said slowly and felt him breath heavier, the closeness and the tension were too much to bear for me and him.

"I wasn't lying" he stuttered and looked away, removing my hand from his arm and he flinted toward the other side of the room a confused look drenched his features.

"I also wasn't lying with that fact that I don't mind the closeness, I just don't prefer it. But you didn't seem to mind it, and I wanted to make sure you didn't get angry"

I stood there shocked, he was thinking of what my feelings were the whole time, during those hours when we were making dinner, that hadn't been eaten. He had not cared for his own feelings at all.

He only cared about me… he was so unselfish that it made me want to smile, but I did worry that he was having an emotional battle in his mind, so I decided to at least calm him down.

_I see, Edward. I know how your confused, please I am more confused than you, all my life I happened to want to find my perfect mate and I-_

I heard his laughter flood the room and I immediately looked at him with some sort of confusion, this seemed to make his laughter cease.

"Perfect mate?, do you honestly think that I could even be compared to that? I mean I thought we were only just friends."

I shivered slightly and ran a hand across my forehead as I looked over at him, I suppose that he didn't find my moves a little bit weird it was like the whole time he wasn't thinking around me, and that made me happy and a little scared all at the same time.

"I suppose" I muttered and slowly walked to the door, and looked at him, looking closer at his eyes. I didn't want to feel so alone and I had to move away at least out of the room, knowing that I had let my heart down.

"Good night, Edward"- I tried but suddenly felt a hand wrap around my wrist and I looked down surprised at what had grabbed my arm.

He was standing there, his breath hitched and his eyes seemed to plead something. I wasn't quite sure of what it was, but the look on his face made me worried.

"Wait- I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" he said with the utmost respect, his fingers never letting go of my wrist.

"My feelings?, you should be worried more about" but he cut me off and I felt him move closer and his green eyes never seemed to leave mine, the venom in my mouth was rising and I couldn't manage to look away. to even regain any control that I had seemed impossible at this point.

"Carlisle, why am I feeling like this?" he pleaded using his hand to indicate the less space between us. I to was wondering why I was falling for him, even if that wasn't the word I would have necessarily put on this situation.

"Your not the only one" I motioned for him to continue, but he shivered slightly and managed to move his eyes to look at the wall, I could feel his chest nearly inches from my own.

"I have been feeling hazy for you, since the first day we met. It wasn't much of showing on the first days, but after we hunted it was there… the thoughts, the hunger and the venom that never seems to go away when I'm-"I leaned my head down and brushed the brown hair from his face.

He froze at the closeness of us and it sort of made me smile, and yet I too was feeling just as he was; it was odd and yet the same emotions I was sharing in my head, he was also sharing them in his own way.

I could feel his breath on my lips and I was moving my head nearly inches from his and I couldn't help but breathe in another round of his scent.

_Honey and cherry wood…_

"Carlisle what is wrong with me" he breathed slowly, his eyes moving a little almost ready to close, I felt my hand run across his cheek.; the same hand that his fingers were wrapped around., but he didn't seem to flinch like I had thought he was going to..

"Nothing, I-"but I couldn't say anymore, I couldn't stop what I was feeling. I was pressing up against him, our chests seeming to rise up in down in unison and before I knew it-

**A/n;**

**Oh dear… before he knew it what? I am sorry but I think it was a nice cliffy, and yeah so now we sort of know what Edward is feeling. I tried to make Edward seem like a little kid with almost feeling these new feelings.**

***Think, Edward in Kindergarten* *AWWWW***

**Anyway, I want to know what you are feeling about this, lol. But I am impressed with myself; next one up is the new chapter of MINY.**

**I will return soon with another chapter, and maybe even more than just fluffy and drama like stuff ****J**


	8. Fire and Ice

_A/n;_

_You must hate me dearly for why I have not updated in so long!.__ but finally I have gotten past the writers block and thought it would be great to write the story, well remake of chapter 8 as though I am doing it for the first time, as I was not sure about how I felt with the choice of words for Edward ._

_I would like to thank the story "OVER THE TOP" the best Jasper/Edward story I think I have ever read. I officially cried my eyes out just a few minutes ago, but thanks to the story I have decided to write again. hopef__ully__ you wont be made at me._

_Song;_

_Wanted man by Rev theory._

_**And I won't be forgiven**_

_**And I will never give in**_

_**I'll save you something but I can not be saved**_

**Chapter 8**

_**Fire and Ice**_

_**Edward's Pov;**_

Suddenly a crash of burning ice pressed against my lips, and I heard a sound of thunder clasp behind me, as my hand never let go of Carlisle's wrist. My eyes widened as I looked into the golden brown eyes that were looking at me with could only be described as shock.

I pressed my lips back, feeling the ice mix with the fire and I felt the venom rise to the top of my mouth and I tried to swallow, watching his eyes closed.

If my heart could beat, I knew without a doubt that it wouldn't have stopped beating.

He pressed his body against mine, and I felt my body send a fire running through every inch of clothing that the ice went through, it was cooling and I understanding, I loathed it but didn't want it to stop. I looked up at him a final time before I closed my eyes and let him bring me into a world of unknown.

His mouth moved against mine, his lips growing slicker against mine, as his fingers ran down my sides and a tempting form of ice spread through my body, and I shivered slightly. He must have felt it because for one hesitant moment he stopped and moved his lips back, but still inches from touching my own.

"Edward.." he spoke my name in a breathless voice, if he could breathe it would have been very hard to even hear my name spoken from his lips.

But a part of me liked it, liked that fact that my name had come from his lips. Come from his lips in everything but pain, or destruction. I felt my mind spin as I ran my hand to the back of his neck and with one tug our lips were back together.

I wanted more.

He moaned softly in surprise but didn't seem to hold the shock very long. His fingers held tightly to my hip as I heard thunder crash across the sky and the light illuminated the soft glowing skin of his hands as the moved to my lower back.

I opened my mouth a little and licked at his lower lip with my tongue. I felt a soft his come from his lips, but then he did something even more shocking than what I had just tried on him. His tongue slid in my mouth and pressed against mine.

The ice burned into the fire and it was my turn to moan. My body eagerly pressed up against his and I my fingers curled through his softly blonde hair, this moment was perhaps a good highlight of my life. But I knew that once we pulled back, left from this moment-.

A tinge of anguish came through me, as we kissed more, our tongues dancing in some unique form that was going to make my head spin if I wasn't too careful with it. I knew in my mind that I wouldn't forget this kiss, and I felt a feeling rise in me that I never realized could open again.

Not since my sister had drowned.

I pushed him against the door, this time leaning back to reveal a nasty smirk, I saw his eyes widened but I didn't give him enough time to try as speak as my tongue pushed into his mouth waiting for dominance, and I felt his body press against mine.

He liked it.

Suddenly a evil voice pressed into my mind, it was laughing and the voice was also singing in a voice that made my body shiver with the terror.

_Of course he likes it, and you won't let him not like it._

I shivered again, but felt him press against me more, bringing me back to the reality and I kissed him back our tongues doing battle. I was truly letting the wounds break lose, giving him everything that I was. It was scary but thrilling, nerving but yet divine.

And I wanted more, and I was going to get more. I never wanted to stop this moment, yes if only my father could see me now. Perhaps he would think me strong willed.

The rain started splattering against the window, as time seemed to dance around the two of us. I realized something that I never thought that I would ever get the chance to realize, and as my hand held onto his and his lips pressed smoothly against me before he moved back.

This was more that just father and son. Vampire and Fledging, more than anything that I had been known to feeling in my human life.

This was a revelation that I wasn't hoping to give up.

_Perfect mate?, do you honestly think that I could even be compared to that? I mean I thought we were only just friends."_

His golden eyes looked down into mine, as I felt his fingers run through my hair. I paused for a moment almost meaning to speak. Before the sound of his smooth voice crept into my ear.

"If that isn't something Edward, than I don't know what is" he murmured trying to rise a voice from me, but it was useless I was cowering underneath his gaze and wasn't sure if I could speak a apology about what I had said before.

Carlisle was alone, well had been alone. Wandering around the earth for nearly 200 years without someone like him, without someone to discuss things, without someone to make him laugh. I wondered then how long it had been before me that he had really smiled.

I opened my mouth and let the words that would become my downfall, fall from my lips.

"I don't think this is about anything anymore, this means something more important than a serious vampire to vampire relationship. I think that I am your companion at least I might as well try, I know I am new to this but that-" but he put a ice finger to my lips. I stopped immediately as a breath taking smile ran across his lips and I felt his hand dash into the locks of my brown hair.

" I always thought I would never find someone like myself, usually when a vampire makes a fledging, that person will either regret making them or that the fledging will disown him and leave, but you-" he paused slowly tilting his chin up glancing out the window in a thoughtful expression.

"But you didn't leave you managed to want to stay with me, and I thought it was perhaps out of curiosity but now I believe that it's something different, in that kiss it was so new to me. I had shivers running although my spine and my heart almost felt as though it was beating again" I watched him stop. And then his golden eyes connected with mine.

I saw the emotions flash through them; lust, compassion, fear and even just perhaps a hint of love.

"I thought, how could a boy like you ever want to stick with an old vampire like me" he said honestly as he sat on the edge of my bed and the rain was sprinkling against the window and the light of the moon outlined his face, I felt my cheeks go red but I knew he wouldn't see anything.

Suddenly I felt a smirk come onto the edge of my lips, and I realized in an instant that my laughter was floating in the air around us and his eyes narrowed with some curiosity, but the giggles kept creeping past my lips.

"You are not old Carlisle" I managed to stop myself for a moment, my hands held onto my sides and I flicked my head to get the hair out of my eyes. I saw a faint smile run onto his lips, but his eyes still held a curious stare.

"Edward, please explain your reasoning on that account" he said slowly as I sat next to him, folding my legs in an Indian style position as I rested my hand onto the bedspread and my eyes seemed to get lost into his golden brown ones.

"Well, you maybe old in vampire years, but your honesty and compassion says something different, not very many people have that kind of love for a person these days" I couldn't help but smile, knowing that it was me that I was talking about, when the mention of love floated from my lips.

"Well when I was born, the wars were going on like mere factors, in fact I was in a war between the witches that were apparently in our town, so I had to show a little compassion, but I think that multiplied once I was changed into the vampire you see before you" he said gently.

Suddenly without realizing that I had done it. My hand was holding onto his, shocking us both for a few moments, but suddenly his breathtaking smile dashed across his pale lips.

"Were like fire and ice" he said slowly, running his thumb over my palm in circles.

"What do you mean by that?" I mused curiously, wondering if he meant by how cold his lips compared to the coldness of my lips.

"Well you are young and innocent, but yet pure like a flame and you never seem to let anything get you moving in the other direction, you never let anything get through to you and corrupt you to take a path down the darkness, hence you are like fire, you move through your path quickly and anyway that you see fit." he smiled slowly, and I felt his hand hold onto mine tighter and I gasped slowly, feeling the ice run through my bones and down my spine.

"And you are like the ice?" I mused slowly, knowing that he was only have right when it came to thinking that I was like the fire.

"Indeed so" he said in a gentlemen like manner.

"please explain that" I was growing amused and I wondered if he could tell that I was, as his smile almost turned into a definite smirk when he answered this.

"I am old, born in an era where you couldn't trust anyone, where you always had to watch you back, I was raised to be like ice, cold and uncaring about the weaker creatures, sad to say I was like that till I hit my late twenties."

"What changed that" I wondered out loud, curiously.

"Well, I started working in the doctor's place and began to understand that I shouldn't be as selfish as a creature that I had been, I believe that that's when my compassion flooded out and the ice melted a little bit, but I still think I am to cold to be considered fire like you, my dear" he mused slowly, our eyes locked for a moment and then I looked away..

He just called me, "My dear" I thought slowly, and this time my crooked smile came into place as I looked back at him.

"What are we doing tomorrow" I said, though I was trying to read his mind, but I was amused that he had seemed to be able to find how to block his own thoughts from me hearing them.

"It's a surprise" he said slowly, getting to his feet as his hand moved away from mine, I almost groaned at the coldness that now lay over my palm, where his thumb had been.

"I hate surprises" I groaned slowly and heard his soft laughter, as I felt the pair of cold lips press down against my forehead, a smile formed from them.

"Silly Edward" he moved back and walked to the door, leaving me there dazed as I watched him grab onto the door frame, and then moved to open it, but his head turned to look over his shoulder at me, and he smirked slowly.

"Goodnight, Edward" he said, and shut the door quietly as he left, and I leaned back on my back on my own bed, as the silence wrapped around me. A smile crept onto my lips.

He had been wrong when he said that I could never be corrupted to the dark side.

He was the one that was making me turn in a different direction, it was him that was making my heart almost feel as though it would pop out of my chest and start moving.

I never wanted to leave, even if that time came where I had to grow up in move on.

And at that thought, a wave of coldness ran through me and I decided that it was best to not have to think about that right now, I could still feel his icy lips pressed against mine.

I felt my eyes begin to close, knowing that tomorrow was just going to be another grand adventure.

**A/n;**

**So I think that version of chapter eight was better, tell me what you guys think. I might be getting a laptop for my eighteenth, which will be awesome.**

**Plus do you agree with the fire and ice concept. I told you I won't give up on this story, and if you guys are bored you should totally read "Over the top" I highly recommend it, especially if you are Queer as folk fans.**

**Well until next time.**

**Adieu.**


	9. Melodies

**So I told you I would update, well its almost summer, and next year I will be a senior, and I realized something that I have been a twilight fan since, ninth grade!. Oh and I will not give up on this story, but I might be busy with exams, so don't hate me,**

**I would also like to give major major lemony apples to ****Sage Punk****; you are amazing and are still my fan when it comes to this story. I am also jealous of you cause you have a queer as folk cast autograph (sigh*. Also I want to know if anyone of you would love to make a****YouTube trailer**** for the dark years. I am curious to see your thoughts.**

**Oh and for a special surprise I have put a place that everyone should know****J****, well just the name of the place. Te-epee**

**This chapter is dedicated to my James, he means more to me than anything, and is an inspiration in everything I do, not even to mention the fact that he makes Edward seem more fluffier .**

**Song;**

**Dead Memories by slipknot**

_Dead Visions in your Name.  
Dead Fingers in my Veins.  
Dead Memories in my Heart_

**Chapter 9**

_**Melodies**_

**Carlisle's Pov;**

I sat in the kitchen, reading over the morning newspaper, I had taken a shower when I woke up this early but my hair was a little damp, I was reading about the Spanish influenza epidemic. I knew that soon my leaving to go back to the hospital came up, that Edward might not be able to keep in the anger.

After all the memories of last night was still fresh in my mind. He was so sweet to me but the look of territorial desire was not as well hidden from his eyes as it was that day in the forest, when we had our first hunt together.

_Ours…_

I leaned forward and pursed my lips together, still remembering the tension and the love that had come in last night's kiss. It was a formal one and I could see or perhaps feel is the better word in this context, that he was still deciding the fate of himself and myself, it made me curious last night how I would see him when he came down the stairs looking for me.

Would I have perhaps been surprised that he would come down here and greet me with a soft hello, and boy that crooked smile seemed to drive me nuts

"Good morning, Carlisle" His velvet voice appeared from behind the newspaper, I pulled it down to receive a small smirk riding on the sides of his lips. I also noticed his attire from the previous evening still on his figure.

His shirt was ruffled and his pants seemed to be wrinkled, but the thing that was making me smile was that his hair was flinging in every direction like a boy wet from a cold shower.

I froze softly, that image going through my head and I knew that my body must have stiffened because Edward was looking at me with a glint in his eye.

"I heard that" he said smoothly as he took at seat behind me, before his smile seemed to disappear almost entirely at the news article that I had been reading when I placed it down on the counter.

"All those people, "he murmured slowly as he laid his chin on his hand his golden green eyes seemed to look into mine and I tried and smile, and reluctantly said.

"It will be gone soon" I murmured to try and cheer him up, he didn't smile he just seemed to be in a very thoughtful mood.

"Carlisle" he said slowly, as I realized that my hand was running through his hair, I must have did that without thinking, I heard his slight purr running through my head growing louder and I gulped slowly.

"I wonder if my father were to get it" he mused slowly, and leaned up stretching his arms as his shirt pulled up showing some of his skin of his stomach, I managed to hold in a desired growl.

"Were going out today, you might want to get dressed" I said slowly as I ran my index finger over his jaw line and he smirked seeming to think that I was trying to avoid any conversations about last night.

"As you wish" he smirked slowly and slowly got up, his hip brushing against the start of my leg as he pasted, but for some reason his eyes held a different view, they seemed to hold a darker image.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

I stood waiting by the door, already dressed in jeans and a white tee shirt, Edward still had not come down but I wondered if I should have went up there with him.

_Don't even think about it. _His voice chuckled from inside my head, surprising me as I gasped quickly trying to get hold of my watch that I was slinging around my index finger.

_Think about what? _I tried to be playful but the smile on my face was brightening into something of a sneer, and I felt venom creep up into my mouth.

_We need to hurry; I have something that I would like to show you._ I said turning away to look outside, noticing that the sky was overcast but at least the birds were chirping in their happy nature.

"Really?, what is it?" his voice came from directly behind me. I turned to see him walking down the stairs, my mind spinning with some kind of complex emotions that seemed knew to me.

He was wearing a light blue, tight tee, with a crimson tie over the top and black accustomed worn jeans. His hair was gelled and spiked everywhere and I could feel my legs seem to almost want to give out.

"That's my shirt" I said mocking a fake angry tone, when I was realizing that I was loving how it looked on him.

"You still haven't answered my question" he seemed amused as he reached for his coat and glasses.

**  
"**It's a surprise my little Charm-ant" I teased him slowly, as I put my jacket on and saw him look at me oddly.

"Charm-ant?" He asked slowly, his lips pursing as though he thought I was trying to insult him. He however would find out that I wasn't the type of person that would really try and make other people angry.

"Yeah, it's French" I say as I open the door, the sun shining just a little but not too much to make me sparkle, or even him sparkle. He was looking at me funny, but I could barely see his eyes through his tinted sunglasses.

"French, for what?" he said as we got to the car and I was helping him by opening his door for him, and I wanted to play the gentlemen in this relation that we were having more and more often.

"Lover." I managed to smirk, before placing a smooth kiss on his hot lips, and I felt him not flinch at all, just felt a smile appear on his lips as he pulled back, and I moved over to the passenger seat, starting the car.

I leaned my arm over his headrest as I looked back to pull the car out into the street before his soft velvet voice whispered softly to me. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"Babylon" I murmured slowly.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

We had made it to the main street. Chicago had a giant downtown and not all the shops and little restaurants I had visited lately. I drove slowly, as he looked out the window at some of the children playing at the small park, east of the corner of 75th street.

"I know you will like this place, I am sure your mother would have liked it too for you" I mused out loud and felt his hand tighten around my wrist.

"Are we going to a funeral?" he managed but I could hear the anger and confusion in his own voice.

I smiled to myself thinking that he really was to much of an incorrigible boy, I turned the car towards a shop. Babylon was read in big letters, with windows covered in posters and i heard Edward gasp next to me.

I stopped the car not being able to hold in the grin as Edward got out of the car as i did as well, he looked at me with that crooked smile and then turned back to look at the shop, taking his glasses off to reveal bright green eyes.

"Carlisle you shouldn't have" he said as he moved closer toward the piano shop.

i moved behind him, as and arm wrapped around his waist and I bent my head low to whisper into his ear, not being able to control the tiny gasp that came from his lips.

" I want you to see something" i breathed and pulled back, moving towards the door. feeling the boy jittery beside me almost made me want to laugh. he truly was like the perfect son, but technically I wanted him to be more to me than anything I ever owned, or more than any person that I had ever met.

the shop was lathered with musical posters and a few bookshelves with a ray of other instruments; but none of them could compare to what piano I was going to buy Edward.

My hand covered his eyes softly, and I heard him gasp in surprise. his heat washed over my fingers he truly was like fire to me.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, still moving his feet as I led him toward the main line of piano's that were lined up along the south wall of the shop, I heard to women stop their conversation to look at us and smiles appeared on their faces.

I moved us over to a grand black piano, stopping slowly and I heard Edward finally whisper.

"Okay?" he said slowly as I moved my hand from his eyes and heard him nearly squeak as his green eyes seem to rack over the beautifull instrument, he moved closer and he was shivering slowly or perhaps if you want a better description i would have to say that he was shaking as his fingers ran across the line of the keys.

He turned to me a bright smile crossed his lips and I almost turned around wondering if I would have been blushing if I had yet to finally be damned and that I was living.

he leaned up slowly. his head turning to the side as he seemed to move closer to me, his fingers creeping on both sides of my cheeks and he was looking deep into my eyes. his irises were a type of dark black mixed with fragments of green.

"This is mine?" he said unsure as my hand moved up to where his was holding my cheek and I held his hand smiling and pulling him to go look at it and i wrapped my arm around his waist and whispered.

"I just bought it this morning" i said slowly and he looked as if he was going to cry, but the smile never seemed to let off his lips and then he leaned back and glanced at me.

" You didn't have too, but thank you very much" he said as his voice dripped with sincerity.

I leaned up and toke a final look at the piano before my eyes met his again I smiled so big I think if I had been human my cheeks would have suddenly not been able to work.

"Anytime" I breathed the words as he looked towards the piano and I breathed a sigh of relief, Than I began to wonder what he was thinking and the nerve to ask was almost unbearable but I liked this lovely moment between us.

"So now that you have seen your gift, how bout I buy lunch for you" I smirked slowly as he turned his green eyes to me, a small smirk running across his pale lips.

"As you wish" he murmured and I couldn't help but smile.

**A/n**

**What did you think, was it too romantic. i think james is wearing off on me. i was ohhhing and awwing the whole time that i was writing it. i also want to know if you are interested in making a trailer for it.**

**and how do you think the next chapter will go? hehe**

**Adieu.**


	10. A Secret

**So I know its been along time, and you probably will kill me, but I have many excuses for that problem. One I was busy with exams, the others seem so useless with when it comes down to it. But I am here now, because of some of the most amazing fan fictions I have read. Oh and btw, I have realized, that you fans are amazing, and that your better than a few of my loved ones : (**

**The main one that you all should read. **_**Bittersweet Hurt.**_** written by **_**Minerva-one. **_**I myself give it more than ten stars. It will whip your emotions for a whirl, and will make you laugh, smile and cry(so get a box of tissues, if you need it). As for now I should get to my story.**

**I hope your reading this **_**SagePunk. **_**I hope you know that I have started to continue this story, I am also looking for a beta that is willing to help me with this story, and MINY. I hope you know that I will try my hardest to compete with all the amazing authors out here.**

_**Oh and obviously I don't own anything**_**.**

**So without further ado. By the way I will be making it Carlisle's pov, for a while I know that many of you want Edward, but his will come later.**

**Chapter 10**

_**A Secret.**_

_**Carlisle's pov;**_

I looked up at Edward, the next morning as his fingers strummed over the piano keys , the music drifting towards the windows and swirling around my head. I watched his smile never vanish from his face, he was the image of the beauty that I had grown to share or had been accustomed to for about a week now.

After I had toke him hunting, last night he seemed eager to come home and was very quiet. I watched him move to the car, his heels clicking softly and he was whistling a tune that I was not sure a normal human could sing.

_But of course he was not a human, he was immortal._

_An immortal god._

Suddenly, the music took a sour note as Edward hit the wrong key. I heard a slight hiss of frustration as he tried the same note again, I finally decided to go help him, as I grew up listening to that song. It was very old song.

"_do you need help"_ I said softly, and he looked up, finally my thoughts had drifted into his head, his green/red eyes seemed to look at me curiously and then frustrated turned back to the piano.

"No" he said clearly, stubbornly. I smirked tenderly as I leaned down behind him, my fingers running over the keys, I hadn't been a good piano player, but I had learned a little from my mother, or what I could remember.

"Clair de Lune, is it not?" I whispered in his ear, feeling a shiver from him, I know that I have finally received his attention.

"Yes" he speaks, irritated but not at me, and I lean up and play the last part of the song that he was trying to achieve, I feel his eyes on my fingers, and if I could sweat I probably would have, but my fingers amazingly don't mess up.

I lean up when I have finished the piece. He turns around in the chair and his eyes narrow just a bit. I give my best shy smile, but I know that he knows that I am secretly bragging that I can do it better.

_But not as good as him.._ I think to myself, and feel his hand clinch the side of the piano and I hide my smirk, as I walk back to the chair and pick up a civil war book. He watches me for a second, before trying to play the last end of the piece that I had just played.

I lean up yet again after a few moments, my eyes trailing down his cheek, and down his neck, I can see that mark from where I had changed him.

_I wonder if it hurts, I would love to run my hand down it, if I were not so afraid of that reaction that he usually gives me._

Yes, I think after a moment. Last night when I tried to lean into for a midnight/goodnight kiss, he had tilted his head so that my lips found his cheek. I felt his skin flush warm under my fingers, as I moved back with hesitation, and wonder.

_He had also been hesitant. I think we both knew that that kiss had been a desired kiss, perhaps out of lust. I am sure he thought of it too._

Suddenly as though I had told him to start playing something different, his fingers played faster, a song that I had never heard of before. I watched him, his smile seemed to grow wider with the fact that he knew I had been watching him.

I listened as I read, but the words on the pages meshed together and before I knew it I was staring at him, wondering if he was getting tired of playing, or perhaps was he playing for just my sake

"No" his velvet voice interrupted my train of thought, and finally his eyes connected with mine, as he brushed a curl of his bronze hair from his eyes.

"No what?" I said trying to act confused.

"No I am not getting tired, but rather hungry." he said slowly, and I watched him get to his feet in a graceful moment, his shirt sliding up just a little, to give me a view of his lower abdomen.

I gulped.

His eyes then connected with me again, as he walked over towards me, almost slowly. Teasing me if that were the case, or perhaps was he teasing me.?

"Like what you see?" his voice fluttered softly back into the air, and my eyes removed themselves from his thigh, and I regained quick composure. I got to my feet, just as he came towards me, and I gave him my best smile.

"Well, what would you like to eat?" I said, trying not to make that sound to cruel, or perhaps to lustfully.

"Lets go hunt" he smiled tenderly, and I felt his warm fingers entwined with mine as he lead me outside of the study room, and out onto the patio in the back of my house.

Soon we were running in the forest, I could hear the sounds of human hikers just south of here and I prayed that Edward, would not hear them. But the moment I thought his name, I heard a whisper in my ear.

_Your slow, old man._

I turned my head to the left to Edward running just a few inches beside me, he knew that I was thinking about him losing control, in fact I saw it on his face. I breathed a sigh of relief when he winked at me.

A doe flitted past me, and I stopped causing dear Edward to stop with me, he turned his eyes to me. " did you hear something" he said slowly, but I put my finger to my lips while my other hand, pointed behind a tree.

His and my eyes watched the doe slowly creep along, the path right in front of us, he made no motion to get it, I was counting on my fingers, and he was watching.

_1,2,3 Go Edward!_

Within a flash Edward was a blur . I heard a yelp from the doe and a loud crack, I prayed that no one heard that. I was surprised when a bunny scampered away past Edward, who, was holding the doe by its neck.

He laid the doe down on the soft mossy forest, and turned his eyes toward me. They were almost crimson, with some desire for the feast. He motioned with his index finger for me to join him. But I didn't. I merely motioned for him to eat, as I was not hungry.

I watched him bend his head low, his teeth pressing into the deer's neck, his eyes never leaving mine, as they got brighter and brighter, as he continued drinking almost to the last drop. He leaned up and hissed softly, as something had started coming towards the field, I noticed a yelp and heard the sound of a young coyote scamper away.

He got to his feet, wiping the blood off his chin. I watched with some eagerness as he stared at the blood on his index finger. And then as if he noticed that I was watching.

His smooth tongue slid of over the blood, a smile was evident on his lips as he licked at venom residue left on his finger, before giving me a crooked smile.

_You perverted old man._

He thought, only to have his musical laughter drift into the air between us, as he came closer to me. I raised my eyebrow quizzically and tried to think of a possible comeback, but as he stopped in front of me, his tone turned serious.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he said slowly, and our eyes connected. I watched his eyes turn from crimson, to a soft amber bronze. I paused for a moment and thought about why I hadn't joined him. Something about him feeding while I watched, turned me on. Though I probably wouldn't have admitted that to him.

"I am not an old man" I say softly, making him watch me curiously, wondering why I was ignoring his 'eating' comment.

"Oh, but I say you are" he laughed suddenly, moving closer to me. So that he was only a few inches in front of me. Yet I could still feel the heat and the smell of new blood fresh on him.

"Nor am I perverted" I chuckled, and he took another step towards me.

"Want to bet on it then?" he said, that amused smile crept onto his lips, as he folded his arms. His eyes never leaving mine, and I stared at him back, he smirked even more.

Daring me.

"Bet what?" I asked knowing that I might as well, play his little game. After all a part of me loved that he teased me, to no end.

"That if you beat me to the house, I say that your not old" he said tapping his fingers on his arms.

" Or perverted" I pointed out.

"Or perverted." he said, shaking his head in agreement.

"So if I win you have admit, that I am a kind gentlemen?" I say slowly, running my hand through his soft hair, I watched him flinch at the sudden act but then that crooked smile I loved, cracked upon his face.

"And if I win" he starts.

"Which you won't" I say with a soft smirk .

"If I win, which I will, you will have to tell me a secret." he says slowly, his smile never breaking but he takes a step away from me.

"A dirty secret?" I laugh amused.

"No, a secret that you have never told anyone else" he whispers with utmost sincerity.

"Shall we shake on it" I say leaning my hand out to reach for his.

"Nope" he grins and is suddenly dashing towards the house, I growl with utter frustrations and race him, my legs going faster than I ever thought possible.

I hear his laugh.

Then nothing more, as I make it to the back porch, I look around and then wave my fist proudly in the air.

"I win!" I said, taking off ,my shoes as I step inside the house, looking around for him still. I lean down on the kitchen counter as I run a hand through my hair.

"Edward?" I said out loud.

_Nothing._

I laugh slowly, wondering if he lost his way and went to the other side of the house and headed towards the entree way.

_Nothing._

"Edward?" I say moving around the house, a tinge of worry starts creasing on my forehead, as I turn the handle to open the door to the study.

" _I never thought with hesitation about that kiss"_ I hear his voice so suddenly;

I gasp, with relief.

He is sitting on the piano stool, with a dazzling smirk on his face. I breathe a sigh of relief again, before it hits me.

He beat me.

He chuckles and invites me near to him, all the while letting me hear nothing from his mind except.

"_pervert, Carlisle's a perverted old man"_ he sings teasingly in his mind, I am finally standing across from him, and I am getting annoyed.

"Okay, Okay," I say slowly.

But he doesn't stop he just keeps humming it loudly, and before I know what I am doing I lean him against the piano.

He gasps and I gasp even, my hips pressing into his, he becomes at attention in a matter of seconds, and before I realize what I am doing, my fangs sink into his neck, lightly tasting the blood, as I lick at the blood river, tasting the copper taste, tasting his skin on my lips, was even more, than I could have imagined

"_Carlisle"_ he moans.

I then come to my senses, well maybe for just a moment as I lean him up in a better sitting position on the piano, before my lips flutter over his neck and finally up to his ear and whisper my secret that I had promised him.

_I love you._

_**A/n;**_

_**Oh did you like it?**_** ha!. Yeah I know it might have been a long chapter but I think it will satisfy your goodness, btw, I still dislike how you hate that my characters sleep, have fangs, and are just awesome. It is my story. Oh and what did you think of the secret.**

**Do u think it was his downfall?**

**Let me know!**

**Okay?**

**Now that we have got that taken care of, I hope you guessed that I would use the Clair de Lune as my favorite song, but the other he was playing. Was by avenged sevenfold, it was the acoustic version. From their very first album.**

**If you would like to know what my musical inspiration was for the last part, just message me, and I will get back to you.**

**So love me. Hate me, or judge me.**

**I will write soon.**

**Btw, sage punk yo****ur awesome!.**

**Adieu !**


	11. Golden Eyes

**I know it's been a long time that I have updated. I would like to say that it gets so hard to resist the fact that I have been falling in love with the prospect of Edward/Carlisle. That and all the reviews that I have obtained.**

**This is another more sappy story, as from what my friends have told me about the last chapter is that they really want some things to be "heated up" so thanks to them I have decided to write this version for you. **

**This will be Edward's perspective, since everyone seems to want to know what the young little one is thinking of. This is after the glorious scene of when Carlisle finally told Edward his secret.**

**I wonder what surprises that our love bird's will come across. This will have some flashbacks from earlier chapters, told by Edward and how he feels.**

**Obviously I don't own the characters….. I just own the fact they sleep, eye color, and fangs : ).**

**Song;**

_White Horse by Stephen Jerzak(Taylor Swift remake)_

**Chapter 11**

_**Golden eyes.**_

_**Edward's Pov;**_

I felt the unneeded breath come from my lips. I felt Carlisle's lips remove themselves from my ear so that his golden eyes could look in mine. I shivered slightly as those words that came over me fluttered over my skin once more.

_I love you._

When I was younger my mother had told me that when you find someone, who , truly loves you with every once of your being that it is alright to accept the terms when the final "I love you" comes from their lips.

A tinge of doubt was running through my mind at this point, I knew that I had or still had the same feeling's that my sire had for me. I knew that I would be wrong to deny them or perhaps even discuss them with this god.

But yet, a part of me realized that I might get hurt. I would probably hurt him, say, if something went wrong, or what if he had found someone more like him than myself.

The truth of the matter was; I was scared of getting hurt.

I felt his hand run down my cheek. A shock wave ran through my system, running through my bloodstream not to mention sending shivers up my spine.

His golden eyes never left mine, as I licked my lips wondering how I was going to say this to him, without seeing the color of those eyes falter.

In truth I wanted to kiss him, tell him I loved him back; but it felt to soon for me. I knew that. I ran my hand down his neck, and toke yet another UN needed breath and my green eyes moved up towards his.

"I can't" I mumbled slowly, and began to feel the pain run through my system. I had to get control of myself, before I broke down. But it was too soon. I mean it had been nearly a week and yet I was in love with him.

_I bet it was only lust._

He looked at me curiously, but his hand stilled on my cheek.

"What?" those golden eyes dimmed just a little.

"I can't love you" I said firmly, and with that I jumped off the piano and ran up to my room not even sure if I could look back into those golden eyes.

I closed my door. The sunshine was streaming on my bed as I fell onto it. The bright light of my skin was shining like tiny diamonds. I stared at the skin of my arm for a few moments.

The silence was deafening. Half of me wanted him to come up here and still argue with me to love him, while the other half was still unsure as much as the time that I had first seen him in the hospital, no less than a week ago.

"_Edward, I promise I will save you"_

Those word's fluttered along the rotting side of my mind. I wasn't sure where they had come from, the memories of my human life were fading from me quickly. All I knew was that his voice had ran through my mind, as my mind repeated those words.

_"Don't worry, he won't hurt you while I am around"_

I shivered more, as I lay on my side. The sun was to my back and my eyes were at the door. I remembered when he said that to me. He would be there for me when my father, who, had hated me would come and visit me.

It had been Carlisle.

I looked at my hand, noticing that the veins on my skin were a light purple, dead and shined clear against the paleness of my skin. I remembered standing beside him as my father yelled at me, how I wanted to shy away from my father.

But Carlisle, well, he would have none of that.

"_Why did you say it though, I mean I am glad for the gesture but; I really can take of my self with him."- _

I had been so cruel to him, I had been so used to dealing with my father by myself, that I had learned that no one was nice enough to help me. I knew that I didn't need anyone to help me with my problems.

However when he answered there had been no anger or pain in his voice, the only feeling that came from his mouth was love.

"_I said it because I am your friend, and I will be here to help you with anything"._

The way his golden eyes seem to look into mine, I had felt my heart almost start beating, as though it was coming out of a dead slumber and wanted to beat for only him.

I toke another un needed breath as I imagined his smile running across his face, that smile managed to make me think that I could make it through the tough times, and he would be here to hold my hand.

_Hold your hand?_

The monster in me questioned. I was shocked myself, and wondered maybe it was true what mother had said about loving someone that was a lot like you but yet you felt nothing for.

_Or at least you thought you felt nothing for._

I looked up at the ceiling, imagining what it would be like to see him right now, was he made at me?, was he scared of the fact that I couldn't or perhaps didn't accept him for who he was?, was he thinking that of me because I had been to scared to say that I loved him back.

_I didn't want him too. In fact the only thing that I wanted him to think was about how much I care for him._

The realization hit me hard, like a bomb about to go off but instead of exploding out it exploded inside.

_I am falling for you Carlisle._

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I wondered to myself if I should have acted asleep, but the door opened to fast for me to have made any assumption or more thoughts of doing it.

Golden eyes suddenly met up with mine. I felt as if I was blushing again, but perhaps it was more of the sun running over my skin. He watched me curiously, but in his eyes I thought I saw an ounce of pain. My body started it's wrecking process as soon as I saw it, the sob escaped from my lips.

"_Edward"_ I heard his voice whisper. His arm's wrapped around me, holding me as another sob came from my mouth. I tried to lean up and glance into those golden eyes, but I couldn't

"_Edward, what's wrong"_ his angelic voice ran through my ears, I knew that he could feel the hairs run up my arm, and I felt him almost hold me tighter.

_I made him cry, I was so stupid for telling him I love you, doe he perhaps hate me? _I heard Carlisle's thoughts as clear as day.

I finally managed to look up into his eyes; worry showed through them, and I felt another

tinge of pain run through me. I wanted him to smile, and let that worry push through me.

" I don't hate you" I said breaking the silence.

I watched his eyes widened at me, I wondered why for a moment, before another sob erupted from my voice.

"I will never hurt you, never" I said more slowly,

Suddenly I felt his cold lips brush up against mine. I could feel his hands around me shaking, and my eyes widened slowly by his sudden surprise. But once his lips moved back away from me.

_I pulled him back._

I brushed my lips up to his too. I knew that with this moment between us, that I would love him back. I wouldn't watch him suffer as he had for almost 300 years. I wouldn't bring the pain back to his eyes.

I felt his lips move against mine and the fire and ice shattered through our bodies, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, before I looked back to stare into his now dark amber eyes.

"_i think i am falling for you."_

The moment the words came from my mouth, I wondered if Carlisle could have cried, would he have been crying now.

His breath taking smile suddenly came on the corner of his lips, as I felt him pull me up towards him so that his breath lightly moved over my ear.

"_I promise I will never leave you, but i can't love yet."_ yet again those golden eyes never left mine, or at least they didn't when my green eyes connected with his. I felt suddenly a large crooked smile come onto my lips.

I pulled him towards me again, his kiss making my frozen heart almost melt. You see it was him that made me feel like this, he was wrong to think of himself like ice. For I was one with the or had the frozen heart.

I felt his hand run through my hair, pulling me towards him more. Deeping the kiss into a new style of kissing. It was the kind of kiss that I had been dying to give a loved one when I grew older.

_It was a kiss that I would give my eternity to never stop._

I leaned back and smiled at him, before my head lay on his chest. He began humming something that I had not heard before, his fingers running little circles up and down the spine of my back.

I don't remember ever falling asleep, but as I woke up hours later to the bed empty and me laying under the covers with the moon shinning over me, I knew that I never wanted this to end.

I was suddenly so sure of one thing, one thing that I knew I would never give up, the one thing that I would always remember, the one thing that I would thing that I would try to protect.

I lay my head down against the cold pillow, leaning my hand underneath it to hold my head up slowly, and I toke a needed breath from my un used lungs waiting for tomorrow.

_I was falling for my Carlisle._

_**A/n**_

**Well?, was it too romantic. Edward was struggling with his emotions, as is everyone who is falling in love. I dedicate this to my Carlisle Cullen. I love you Kyle, forever and ever.**

**I want to know what you guys think. The next chapter will be a little exciting now that they have both realized their feeling's for each other.**

_I hope you review _

_Adieu._


	12. The Choice

**Ha! So I have decided to write. I am very excited about the few chapter's ahead. I loved **_**H20's Reviews!**_**.. (another Jacob fan!!). Anyway I am most excited for Saturday too; my friend Brandi Grayson will be visiting I haven't seen her since last July. So I am dedicating this chapter to her.( since she absolutely loves Carlisle).**

**Oh btw if you would like to know some of my musical inspirations for the chapter, then send me a message(cause without music, this probably wouldn't flow right out of my fingertips.). Oh and lastly I will be writing another chapter of MINY tonight; I know most of my friend's like this dark Edward, ha!**

**If you are curious as too know my music choices. I will post the songs that I was listening to while I wrote this. **

_**R.I. P ; M.J**_

_Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves._

**Chapter 12**

_**The Choice**_

**Carlisle's Pov;**

I stood at the front door. In only my bath robe and my slippers. I leaned down my eyes wide by what was held in my hand. It was a letter from the hospital.

I froze and glanced back up towards the hallway, knowing that Edward was sitting in the living room waiting for me to come back with the daily mail. But I couldn't move. I had taken my leave for a amount of two weeks; and would come back next Friday.

The hospital however still managed to send me the card.

"_Dear Carlisle,_

_Sorry to have disturbed you on your vacation but since the rise of the flu epidemic, we need you to come back to the hospital at the utmost connivance, we do not mean to interrupt family time that you are enjoying, we hope that you are well and that your family are well._

_Please answer us cordially._

_The hospital staff."_

I held the invitation in my hand. My fingers nearly wanting to crumble up the paper that I held within them. How was I going to tell Edward that I had to go back?, for once I dreaded going back to the place that seemed to used to make me happy.

It wasn't that I had always been lonely after I had left Italy. I had hunted and worked at the hospital, they both had sustained some type of refuge over my heart that seemed to never beat, or almost never had the feeling that it was going to start beating.

But now it was a different story. I wasn't alone anymore.

_I had Edward.._

"Carlisle?" his voice echoed behind me.

I felt myself cringe, not because he had come into the room, but, because I was trying to hold in my thoughts, I didn't want Edward to be frightened or saddened because I would have to go back to the hospital.

There wasn't any option.

"_What's not an option?"_

He asked slowly, I could feel him moving closer towards me, I folded the paper up as fast as my fingers could move and put the envelope in my pocket. Hoping to god that he wouldn't suspect that I was hiding something from him.

I finally turned around, he was standing at the entrance of the living room. Still in my shirt and loose pants. His hand running through his hair and his eyes seeming to run down my tense form with some kind of curiosity.I felt my body ache with some kind of desire, the same desire that I had when we had our little make- out fests.

_I needed him._

"It was junk mail" I said slowly, making my way towards him. I knew that it wouldn't be to long before I had to tell him the real truth, I didn't like to lie to him.

_He would hate you, that he would._

The thought ran threw the back of my mind, as I stood just inches from him. The silence after my words seeming to hang over us like a noose waiting to fall down on it's un suspecting victim.

Edward's green eyes darkened slowly, he must have been realizing that I was blocking my thoughts from him. Though he didn't say anything.

I leaned my head down, running my fingers down his cheek.

_Fire._

His skin was so hot against my fingers, I almost flinched at the fire of him coming towards me.

His eyes widened in surprise.

_Make him forget, just for tonight._

The monster in me said with a hint of laughter. I leaned up slowly, catching myself. Not letting myself be conflicted with laying him down and making him forget that I had ever left the study to go and check the mail.

"I need a bath" he whispered bringing me back to my reality, I removed my fingers from his chin ever so gently.

I managed to get a hold of the smile that almost crept across my lips at the bare mention of the thought of Edward's bare skin underneath me as I washed him.

" I caught that" he laughed slowly, but a tint of blush ran through his features. His face got a little paler and I wondered whether he liked that thought or hated me for such an idea.

He moved towards the staircase, leaning on the railing, turning his head over his shoulder to look at me with a questionable expression, his green eyes never seeming to leave mine.

"I'll be in the study." I smiled tenderly, and headed towards the library leaving him to look at me with a confused expression. I had a lot on my mind, and I knew that I could have some piece of mind while he was taking a bath.

The venom shot straight into my mouth as I imagined him laying in the water, running the cloth down his skin, lower and around his navel.

I felt my legs tremble slowly, I shook my head trying to regain some control on my thinking as my feet sat me down in the cozy chair that over looked the piano that I had become quite a treat to our little coven.

I stared out the window as the sun lay against the tree's blinding shades. I had two choices to make or decide to make if the choice would have or perhaps take its course.

Choice one.

That was the hardest one of the two, I would tell Edward that I would have to go back and work at the hospital, then feel the rejection that would surely come from the fire-like lips of his, but there would be anger, and possibly rebellion.

Choice two.

Leave in the morning, with a note telling him that I was simply called into the hospital to do a check up, perhaps he could come with me. Perhaps that would have been the logical assumption that I have made all Afternoon.

_There's just one problem/._

The monster in me laughed, sending a few cringes running through me. Yes I had to agree with my inner monster that it wouldn't be safe to bring him in a whole hospital of dying humans, where the stench of blood would be floating all over the walls and in the rooms of the sick.

I knew that he was strong when it came to hunting with me, but if I had to leave the room to go and see a patient, well let's just say that I knew that he wouldn't be ready to control his thirst,

_Yes, all he needed was time._

I knew that I was going to have to choose, whether it be tonight before we lay down in our separate beds, or in the morning when I told him just as he was rising to wake up to greet the day.

But then a part of my mind realized something, what if I didn't go back to the hospital at all?

I cringed internally knowing full well that that would not solve the case, besides a part of me still loved working and healing the sick.

"_Well, you maybe old in vampire years, but your honesty and compassion says something different, not very many people have that kind of love for a person these days"_

I smiled to myself, as the memory of Edward's words drifted into my head, I leaned back closing my eyes trying to decide.

I loved Edward.

I needed Edward.

I couldn't stand being without him.

The choice to tell him was going to be a difficult one, I stretched my fingers over the arms of the chair, taking an un needed breath, and trying to relax. I suddenly wished that I had never went to go and check on the daily post.

But, I had to face my problem. I knew that no matter choice I happened to pick, that, it would probably put a dent in mine and Edward's relationship, but a part of me was wondering if I was just worrying about it more than I should have.

I opened my eyes, suddenly hearing the bathroom door open. I listened closely, as his soft feet reached the floor, and I felt a warm tinge run over my cheeks, as I tried to focus on not thinking of Edward like that.

I mean I had to not act like a school boy at a candy store, I was the older one and I had to prove to him that I wasn't just interested in fucking the poor boy.

I froze the moment that thought came from my lips.

I listened as the door to the bathroom shut, listening even closer for the soft footsteps to come prattling down the stairs, but I heard nothing.

I leaned up from my chair, curious but also worried, what if he slipped or done something stupid, he was still very clumsy; even more than I had been when I had turned into a vampire nearly 300 years ago.

"Carlisle, Can you help me?" his voice said from the upstairs.

I took a breath, that, I didn't really need and headed toward the stares, knowing that I was going to try my best to make the right choice, I moved up the staircase seeing the bathroom door wide open, and my eyes widened suddenly.

**A/n;**

**Am I bad? Ha-ha well wasn't that a little bit of dramatic thinking for our lovely Carlisle?, any idea's about what's going to happen In the next chapter, it will be a longer one, I am really sorry that it took me forever to update. I have been busy with summer school and dealing drama and shit.**

**Songs that I listened too:**

**I bleed by hale storm.**

**Choice by Diplomatic stamps**

**Anyway, I am dying to know your thought's one what choice he is going to make, and what do you think about Carlisle's thoughts of sexy naked little Edward? Hmmm.**

**Btw if you can tell me who said the quote, what book its from, and who was the writer of the series, you will get a dedication to the next chapter, so let the guessing began.**

**Well my lovely's until we meet again. **

**Adieu.**


	13. A Devil's Smile

Yes, I know : ). I am updating, whether, my fingers will kill me after writing this, well we will surely see now won't we?. I would like to propose a dedication: as you know this chapter is a big one, none the less a little graphic.( going Anne Rice-ish, will definitely be in character here).

My dedications are as follows.( **I'm At My All Time Low**** ). Your reviews make me smile, and I am glad that we have a lot of things in common. To my Edward, **_**James Butler**_**; for being an inspiration to the thought process of all the things that I have to plan out for Edward. To my Carlisle: **_David Meenaghan_**( who happens to be coming down from Ireland to visit me for my 18th****, (which happens to be in 4 weeks, I know right?) and last but certainly not the least. **_**Bryan Chronister.**_ **for being the bad guy in my first ever fan fiction, for inspiring to start writing slash again… and for helping me a lot with this part.**

**Now as I will warn you again, this is a little graphic, but it my scene of what played through my head when vampires make love, physical, but also in the mind. ( I really must stop reading VK ….)**

**Btw thanks Michelle for the help of choosing the music soundtrack for this chapter, I think the songs fit the kind of mood they are in..**

**Obviously I am not Stephanie Meyer, The only thing that I have taken from her for the moment, is her fantastic father and son role : )**

_Say goodbye._

_As we dance with the devil tonight._

_Hold on._

**Chapter 13**

_**Black Eyes with a Devil's Smile**_

**Carlisle's Pov.**

There he stood before. Covered in nothing but a towel that was tightened around his waist, my eyes couldn't help but glance with utter fascination at the closed v that showed, covered with a splash of brown hair, leading down behind the cloth that was hiding his naked form.

I saw the water dripping from his skin, melting in with paleness of him, but yet sparkled down the path of his collarbone, his hair was matted down covering his eyes, well just for a moment they were.

Our eyes met with a fierce blaze, I saw his golden green eyes look at me almost in shock, before he managed to stutter out.

"Car.. Carlisle… my hand…" he held up his wrist, a single sliver of skin was folded off, and a droplet of blood ran down his arm.

The scent drifted into the room, that same scent that I had smelled the night that I had proceeded with my devil's plans to release his soul into the future of the damned.

My nostril's flared as the monster inside me was battling as fight with the near human desires that were going to be my breaking point if I didn't tread on the track with extreme caution.

I moved over to him, and brought my fingers over his wrist, the blood ran over my fingers and another stench of him came past my nose, oh how I was dying to run my tongue over that array of blood and taste him

"Carlisle…" he stammered bringing me back to reality as our eyes connected again, there was no playfulness in his eyes, he had literally just heard what I wanted to do. I had forgotten to keep my thoughts under the control of the good side of me.

I moved back to the stance of a doctor merely helping the patient, as I began looking for a towel, before the monster's voice came glittering from Edward, a voice that I thought only was in my head.

"Carlisle, taste it" he said, I turned my head still holding the fresh towel that I had pulled from the cabinet above the bathroom sink.

I turned my head and looked at him in shock.

_Yes, taste that boy that has been giving you nightmares, making you feel the emotions that I can only give you, make him beg for you to give him what he wants.._

The monster inside me purred, as I stood there for a moment, both of us staring at each other, I looked closely into Edward's eyes. His iris's had a hint of black around them, grazed with a mixture of light crimson.

"What did you say?" I managed to yield out, daring that he repeat that same line that I had hoped he truly didn't say.

"Taste it" he motioned this time, taking a step towards me, and I thought I saw his towel suddenly slip down, to reveal more of his thigh to me.

I knew he was truly going to be the death of me.

"I Can't" I muttered…

Suddenly with out interruption he ran his nail along the cut, deepening it and the blood began to flow all over me…. Well the smell of it that is.

I lost it.

I moved his wrist to my mouth, and sunk my fangs.

I heard a staggering moan come the boys mouth, and I pulled his arm harder against my fangs, receiving a new array of blood. I didn't know where I was, but I knew for one fact and one fact only.

_This boy had just become mine._

I began to suck more at the wound, this time the pain came from his lips, and my eyes finally met his with a passing glance, his eyes widened at the sight of something that seemed to shock him.

"Carlisle… " he flinched, trying to remove his wrist from my mouth.

I let go, trying so desperately to regain the emotions of the good gentlemen that I thought I still had, I paused slowly, running my finger over the now healing wound, surprising myself with the fact that I had done that to him..

But I had secretly wanted more.

"Yes…" my voice dripped in the only emotion that had become aware for him to pick up, it was conceived as the vampire form of lust.

"Your eyes their, black" he stuttered slowly.

_Don't you like them._ the monster sent the thought to Edward, I saw his expression and suddenly realized that I was losing control with him so quickly… I had to think of something to get of my mind.

_Let me go.. Let the monster in you fuck this innocent boy._

I felt myself grow hard, at that prospect.

I felt him closer, maybe to try and run for it. Or perhaps he wanted a better look at the monster that so desperately had been waiting to come back out for nearly three centuries.

"I need to go" he said slowly, his eyes laid downcast as he moved towards the door, only he didn't make it to far, before his foot collided with something invisible, because before I knew it the waft of the new blood rose again in the air, and he was laying on the floor, his towel down, revealing his buttocks.

I stiffened both at the sight of him and the smell of blood that had re opened the cut, before I knew what I was doing, I had flipped him over in one rash moment of unspeakable lust, and put my mouth onto the cut.

A gasp, revealed as well a moan that glittered from the boy's lips. I managed to look up the monster not getting enough of the blood that scorched my throat, mixing with the venom that was covering my fangs…

His eyes were a dark green, but in them I saw my eyes.

Black as the night, with just a hint of blue over shading the iris's in such a fashion that I almost moved back, almost became normal.

_Almost._

If he had not moved underneath me, I would have never felt that hardness pushing against my thigh, through this stupid bloody towel. I leaned my head back up, resealing the cut by running my tongue along that scar,

"Car… Ca.. Carlisle" he moaned this time, I felt him grow hard against me. This only made the chance of him getting away from me even worse.

_Stupid innocent boy._

"Yes, Edward?" the voice of lust drifted between us. The monster in me made him gasp in shock, causing another stiffening twitch of my cock, to beg to be realized through this bloody trousers..

He felt it.

Another moan glittered from his lips, I couldn't help but sneer at that alluring fact.

"Stand up" the monster ordered, as I got of him and moved to my feet, almost cat like… almost with anger.

My voice was stern, it perhaps stunned him, before he got up, his fingers still holding the towel, I paused slowly, the monster in me was growling for him to take it off, it was un needed, beside's he was already mine.

"Take it off, Edward" I growled, receiving another inquisitive look from the innocent boy.

The monster in me wasn't patient, the moment it was off I knew that my undoing was about to be unleashed.

I prayed that he would forgive me for any act that I would seriously do to him, tonight.

I was hungry, aching for more of this boy that stood victim to me. I was hunting prey and he was so close, not to mention the way his blood sang to me was another hit below the belt.

He still hadn't removed the towel. I moved towards him, and looked down the collar of his neck, noticing the bruising mark that had been my mark of creation for him.

"Now Now Edward," I sneered slowly, tilting his chin up, as I leaned down and sucked at the bruise underneath his Adam's apple.

I heard the soft thud of the dropped towel, and the moan that had arisen from his vocal box. I could felt myself stiffen, nearly hurting myself against the inside of my zipper.

I suddenly wondered what it would look like with his mouth wrapped around my cock, sucking me slowly as I bucked deep into his mouth.

I heard a gasp come from him, as I leaned back seeing the shock and fear evident in his face.

He had heard that loud and clear.

I did not dare look into his eyes just yet, I felt the monster pick him, feeling water droplets from his hair drip onto my shirt and neck, as I took him to my four poster bed. I pinned him down, before moving back to look at him.

His abs's were so hot I imagined how to lick them up, and tease him just below that hipbone, oh dear what had I gotten myself into. I looked down at the dusty curls that lay around the base of his cock, smooth and hard it looked.

I wonder what he would feel like in my hand, my my and what perhaps could he taste like, his moans echoed the room, I knew he was listening to me think.

"Relax.. Edward" the monster purred from my lips. I bent over, feeling water droplets drip from his hair and down to his neck, I ran my tongue up his neck, tasting the salt from his skin, and the wetness from the water.

I felt his cock now stand at full attention, pulsating against my thigh, I wanted to take him right now, but something in me wanted to be a little romantic, and the monster in me growled at the thought of going to slow.

"Mmm, do you know how long I have been waiting for this" I growled nibbling on the tip of his ear, and hearing a slight whimper come from his lip, I wanted to bite on his lower lip the moment I heard it.

"No" he moaned breathless, his body was still shaking as I ran my tongue down and around his left nipple. I felt him stiffen against me as my tongue moved over the hardening nipple.

"Mmm" I purred loudly before taking it into my mouth. I heard another gasp coming from him, and my fingers, ran underneath him, and pulled his ass into me… my hands tracing over his hole with just a hint of wanting to make him cum…

I bit into his nipple, and the smell of blood ran through my nostrils as a tiny river ran down it, running down his stomach, which my tongue happily licked up, only to receive a hip bucking action from the innocent boy.

"It's my turn now" I smirked leaning up, and began reaching for the buckle to my pants. I moaned slowly as his eyes looked at me in wonder, with a hint of fear.

I pulled my pants down, and watched his eyes glance at me. His mouth hung open just slightly and I couldn't help but smirk.

"Like what you see?" I sneered slowly, moving him towards me.

His eyes looked up to me in shock.

"Go on" I didn't say much more, before I guided his mouth towards me. The monster in me was making him shove it down his throat.

I felt my eyes nearly go into the back of my head, the moment the head of my dick was inside of his warm, wet mouth.

His eyes connected with me.

"Suck it, slowly" I said running my fingers through his dazzling wet hair, that was curling just at the edges of his hair. I felt him take me into his mouth more, he was still unsure, but the monster in me purred with dominance.

"Lick at it, my pet" the lust monster came back, as his tongue began swirling around my dick, I felt myself stiffen harder and I let a tiny thrust push myself fully into his mouth, I opened my eyes when things changed.

He moaned over me, I cringed with a wave of lust.

He began bobbing his head up and down my length, where had this burst of confidence come from, I wondered as my hips met his awaiting tongue with each new thrust that seemed to run through me.

I moaned, my fingers pulling at his hair, I could have sheared that he was sneering around my dick, and I moaned a little louder.

I was already so close.

"Use you teeth, " I growled harshly. My thrust's never giving his mouth a break.

I felt his fangs run slightly down my hard length, and my eyes closed with lust, and I pulled him onto me more, his throat pulling me down for a deep throat. I thought I heard him gag in surprise but the monster in me didn't seem to care.

The moment his teeth moved to the tip of me, I saw stars.

I felt myself cum down all over his warm mouth, I thought I heard him gag, but when I looked down he was still sucking me, like a boy that found his new favorite flavor at the candy shop.

When the venom poured from his chin, as he leaned up and looked at me, I pulled him up, with a tug of his bronze hair, and I kissed him hard on the mouth, tasting myself on his tongue, I moaned in his mouth, as I moved him down onto the bed again, I felt him still hard against me, I realized that I wanted to hear him come, I wanted the neighbors to hear how I made him mine, at least for him to scream my name.

The dominance sent another thrill of me, as I pulled back from our kiss, my black eyes reflecting in his dark green eyes and I felt his body shake..

That's when I wrapped my hand around his dick.

I felt him push up against my head, which sent a sneer running across my lips and the monster in me was shouting with inexplicable joy.

"I am going to make you cum" I said lowly, as my fingers ran up and down him, not giving a chance for a break, making his dick harden the more my hand moved up and down..

I watched his eyes nearly roll back into his head, his back arched up moving him further up into my hand, as I kept stroking him.

"I bet you want my mouth on your dick don't you my pet" I moaned in his ear, and felt him growl in animalistic lust.

"Ahhh uhhhnng… Carlisle" he managed to groan out. I felt precum glisten at the top of his dick, and I realized it with a smile on my face.

"Ah, you like it when I dirty talk don't you?" I growled and ran my hand down the base of his cock, and back up to the tip. I felt his finger's grip the sheets, and a louder moan come from the hot burning lips.

"Yes… .oh please don't stop" he moaned loudly, bucking wildly and I knew that he was not far off from coming into my hand.

I wanted it now, he was mine and there was no reason to think of anything but staying there, perhaps I would fuck him, but not now, no it didn't seem so right.

"Which do you want?" I growled stroking faster, my mouth licking at his neck, teasing him with the tips of my fangs..

"Ughh.. What?" he moaned loudly, as I bit into his neck, before responding.

"My mouth on your cock, or my hand?" I asked again, feeling him suddenly pulsating again at those words..

"Oh… god… Carlisle… I…." he moaned loudly, before I watched his eyes roll back into his head, and with one set of mini thrusts, he was cumming all over my head, his venom drenched my hand…

His heavy breathing running through the air like bells.

I leaned up, letting him watch as I sucked on each individual finger of mine, his cum was almost as good as his blood, I knew after this that I wanted to continue this.

"Car… Carlisle…" he moaned slowly, his eyes looking so tired, and sweat drenched his hips and his hair curled underneath his ears, making him look more like a god than a vampire with a love for his older companion.

"Yes," I heard the monster responded, feeling my hands pull the covers over his lower body, and my hand ghost over his thigh through the white sheets…

"What time is it?" he whispered, his eyes closed, but I could tell that he was staying awake.

I froze the moment that I had glanced at the clock.

_12:01 am_

"Oh dear god" I said looking down, the monster in me had vanished and I realized the damaged that I had done, he was laying sound asleep as I watched him… the anger at myself running through me now, as the monster within me was laughing.

Dear god what did I do?

I watched his chest rise up and down, with unnecessary breathing, the pain that now fitted through my heart.

God I didn't even have his permission.

I got up swiftly moving towards my door, I couldn't bare to be there when he woke up, for fear that the anger for what happen would over amount the lust that the monster had brought out of me.

I closed my door silent. Leaning against it with tremor's of pain and fear running down my skin.

I did the only thing that I could have done.

I walked down the steps and looked for my coat.

I opened the door, and let the autumns air rush through my face, I knew that it was going to be hard after this but I didn't think he would even stand to look at me.

…..

**A'n;**

**Oh dear, were you expecting that. Carlisle's monster took over him, making him forget who he was. Did you like that lemon, of course I wasn't going to make Edward have his with him yet, I wanted you to want to know when that would happen.**

**I feel sorry for Carlisle when he came to his senses.**

**I do wonder how Edward will feel the moment he wakes up… hmm… your thoughts? Plus did this suit your needs. I had a good time writing it, trust me, I will get better at writing the slash stuff obviously.**

**Btw the song I listened to for this chapter was**

**Dance with the Devil by Breaking Benjamin.**

**Review. Love. All hopes : )**

**Adieu.**


	14. Coming back to Reality

**An**

**I am in utter shock, plain, utter shock. I would love to say for that fact that thanks to arrival of my long time friend _Sage Punk,_ I literally cried at her review for the last chapter ( I mean seriously, was I really that good) you made my freaking week that is all I could say, I mean seriously, waking up to a review like that was beyond words,**

**On a more important note ( not that that wasn't important enough : )) but I am not sure if I will give you an update on MINY, I am in a total writers block with it, I may finish it if I get some idea's for it. I mean I just wrote a lemon(apple?) ha!, for it and was surprised to only see a couple reviews for it. I mean dark Edward should pull in a little more people than that.**

**I know it is a little early to say this but; I may have a sequel for this, The Rebellion Years?, hmm maybe that sounds extremely cheesy, I will finish this and monster in new york, I just prefer to write this one as I have decided to blow your mind with another form of my thoughts.**

**I know I am rambling on, but this happens to go to another dear friend of mine: _Explaintheunexpected :_ for giving me an idea on how to dramatized it up, you defiantly are getting major kudos for this turn of events.**

**Music choice at the top this time., feel free to look up and listen to these songs to get in the mood.**

**_Waking up _by _10 years_**

_I felt my body push up against his, moving away. I felt my heart starting to beat faster; before I knew it I was running towards the alleyway, the sound that my feet made almost made me cringe they seemed so loud. The angel was gone from my own eyes._

**_Chapter 14_**

**_Coming Back to Reality_**

_**Edward's Pov;**_

My dream seemed like an unfit reality, my fingers lined the sheets of my own bed, the dream that I had seemed so vivid almost real with any self cause, I fluttered my eyes open, hoping that Carlisle would be down stairs.

I froze the moment that my eyes assessed the situation, this was not _my room._ No, this was _His_ room. The dream had been real.

"_Suck it, Slowly" _his voice entered my head, and I felt my body twitch, the shock that ran through me was desperately hard to ignore. His black eyes fluttered in my brain, the ever constant glare of them was driving me mad.

I leaned up, noticing teeth marks, running down my stomach. I realized that I had been touched by another man. I knew that was what he was, and that I was falling in love with him. But I never really thought about the physical side of this. I laid back, feeling the cotton sheets collide around me as I let what happen dance around my head.

"_Ah, you like it when I dirty talk don't you?" _

Yes, ladies in gentlemen, that thought did receive a boner, I sighed slowly, the shock and idea's running through my head seemed to multi this feature, I realized with another painful shock, that I was in prospect of wanting more of it.

_You seriously, want this?_

The innocent thoughts ran through my mind, as I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling of Carlisle's four poster bed.

_Yes, and we want him to fuck us, wasn't that hot enough the way he controlled your body like that, wasn't it?_

I stiffened another moan, as the monster in me was laughing. I was growing hard over my companion, who, happened to yet again be a man.

I felt my hand graze my thigh, before reality set another low blow towards my eyes, I realized that I was giving into the thought of this devilishly dirty Carlisle.

I suddenly felt the venom floating in my mouth, my hand's began to move into fists with the idea that I was doing such a wrongful deed.

_Why, wrong?, do you want him here touching you instead, or perhaps you want his mouth; ghosting over your arousal._

"oh god" I managed to let out a steely breath, the monster in me was shaking with silent laughter. I saw Carlisle's exquisite smile run through my head, I felt my cheeks burn with another tinge of paleness.

I was still hard.

_Touch yourself, you know that you want too._

The monster in me commanded with un loyal lust, I moaned as my hand ran down my stomach, the imagination of his hand doing this caused another moan to rise from my lips.

This unusual desire that was running through me, made me unable to stop thinking of him. I had touched myself only once before, when I had been fifteen, the neighborhood's sweet Jessica Michaels had been my next door neighbor.

I imagined her fucking me, that day. I didn't think about anything else at that moment, but now here I lay on the bed, with my hand laying on my own thigh, thinking about _Him._

A vampire, my master, my maker.

_Carlisle …_

I wrapped my hand around myself, a growl arose from my chest, as I ran it down to the base of my hardening length, ever so slowly.

"_Use you teeth"_

This time the mixture of venom that pooled in the base of my throat, was left with another taste, this taste sweet, and made only of sugar. The taste of Carlisle's cum.

I moaned as my hand worked a little faster, thinking of taking him back in my mouth, caused the monster to purr in utter defeat.

I moved my hand faster, before the shocking words ran out of my lips and into the sweet smelling freesia air.

"Mmm, Carlisle…"

The monster in me was making me say this, but my dick grew even harder in my hand, as I moved faster down and up me, my eyes nearly going into the back of my head. My other hand was pressed against my mouth, letting me bite down, letting me hide the screams, so that he didn't hear me.

"_My mouth on your cock, or my hand?" _

Yes that was what he had asked me, I moaned a little louder, my teeth grazing the side of my fist, and I was lost in the feeling of what my hand was doing to think of anything else but his sweet melodic voice surrounding me.

"Ughh… Carlisle" I moaned, feeling myself extremely close to the breaking point.

I moved my hand faster, than I had ever seemed to a human's masterbatution 's speed of this. I was so close, I could feel my dick pulsating under the slick skin of my cold fingers running up and down.

Suddenly the thought of Carlisle's hand on my dick, drifted into my mind, like a bird flying into the window, I couldn't believe that I was doing this, and in his bed.

_What would he say?_

I moaned loudly, when another thought of his lips trailing down my thigh, and into the curls around my dick, I gave a guttural growl.

I screamed slowly, into my fist, as the venom rushed from me, and all over my stomach, and onto the bed sheets.

I sat there in utter shock, the monster in me purred with utter triumphant.

I desperately needed a shower….

I ran the towel through my messy hair, trying to dry before my hair curled, I hated when my hair curled, it made me look a spitting image of my father.

I moved the towel away from me, surprised at the person that I saw in the mirror, my eyes were a dark green, with a hint of gold around the iris's.

But the bruises that lay on my neck, almost made me jump, did Carlisle really seem that rough last night, I still wasn't quite sure if what really happened last night, but then I thought about waking up in his bed, well that about summed everything up for me.

I leaned up buttoning my shirt, well, actually it was one of Carlisle's tee-shirts, white with a cut velvet collar, but it perfect on me so I wasn't the one going to complain.

I dressed quickly, heading downstairs, waiting to meet that luscious smile of Carlisle's, maybe even a surprised blush or something like that.

That hit me like a wrecking bomb.

I was acting like a girl, a mediocre school girl, I was acting like a princess in one of the fairytales that mom used to read to my sister.

I groaned slowly, as I moved into the living room, expecting to see Carlisle there reading the morning post, same as he always did.

But no one was there

_Carlisle._

I said in my mind, but I heard nothing, not even a small thought or whisper that he was anywhere in the house.

Maybe he was outside. I thought and with a whistle full smile I headed towards the back door of the kitchen, only to frown when he wasn't sitting on the back porch.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw an opened envelope on the floor, I picked it up with a sweet emotion, until my eyes read what was on the paper.

"_Sorry to have disturbed you on your vacation but since the rise of the flu epidemic, we need you to come back to the hospital …" _I read in my mind, suddenly the dawning truth seemed to rear it's shiny head.

He had left me.

I felt the monster in me growl with reality, that was why he must have been acting weird last night, before that incident, that's why I couldn't hear his thoughts.

He was blocking them from me.

I felt another tinge of anger, as my fingers ripped at the envelope, letting the paper fall onto the floor at my feet, the anger rising through me.

Then the sadness hit me like a wrecking ball.

_He must not have trusted me, _

I froze leaning against the counter, staring at my right hand in anger, I wondered if he knew that he was going to leave me, that he was going to go back to work without even a simple note, did he think that I would hate him.

_Your angry at him now._

My mind jolted through the silence of the kitchen, I paused folding my arms, with some dissilience and control that I still managed to own.

Truth was I wasn't angry at the fact that he went back to work, every time that he had mentioned the hospital I saw the sudden spark of love float in his eyes.

I wasn't angry at him for going back to the hospital. There was only reason why I was angered, saddened and even distraught about.

He didn't tell me.

Suddenly, I heard a knock come furiously ushering from the front door, I wondered with a sudden joy of that being Carlisle, and I had to admit that I all but flew through the wall towards the mahogany glass door.

I smile slowly, reaching my hand towards the door knob, I opened it with such an urge that I thought I might break the door knob.

But there staring back at me, was not Carlisle, no this man was anything but the vampire that Carlisle, had been.

I looked into chocolate coal brown eyes.

"Hello Edward," the voice of my father rang through the hall.

**A/n**

**Say that you won't kill me, did you like the morning wake up call, ha thanks to unexpected for that idea, I mean come on did you honestly think that little threat from a earlier chapter wouldn't come back to hunt you?**

**I am curious as to what you thought of the little LEMON ( Squirt?). At the beginning of the chapter, btw I gave Edward's down brown eyes, because his mother had the green eyes ( oh thoughts of Harry potter just rushed through my mind loll)**

**Please review with your thoughts, I am so desperate to know, your reviews are like feul to the fire, I mean just think of innocent Edward, doing that in your bed and let the creative reviews keep a flowing.**

With love, hope, and reviews.

A

Adieu : )


	15. Piu’ Scuro Dell’anima

**I am really knocking them out. I have some extremely good news, one of the good things is that, I have passed summer school, and will be staying with my mom, and I hope to finish this story by the end of the summer, push, I know right. I also have uploading the next chapter to MINY. Poor Esme and Carlisle are getting a divorce.**

**Btw I am also going to tell you something, I know most of you think Rpattz is what Edward looks like in my story, but I imagine him like Chace Crawford( look him up on Photo bucket). And another good thing about today, is that 24 for days as of tomorrow, I will be the big 1-8. Yes, I will have been a twilight fan for nearly 4 years, and a Harry Potter fan for almost 14.**

**Finally, thanks to **_**Sage punk **_**and **_**All Time low**_**, for making special reviews to me, ha, ill be sure to give my shout outs to ETF for you when I see them August fourth : ). Now I would like to warn everyone that this is my version, or will have clips of my Edwards "human past". I obviously don't own the twilight based characters, but I do own many things in this plot… oh and I would like to say that I have changed a few things.**

**Thanks to **_**unexpected**_** I have decided to add another surprise, I have decided to give you another Edward's Pov. Yes you must thank me . Also this chapter will be a little darker, and I am putting something in here, that may shock you, but also answer the fact at why Edward's father truly hates him.**

_I could see him holding me, that crooked smile sat very clearly on his lips. But it was only a memory and that's all he would ever be to me._

**Chapter 15**

_**Piu' Scuro Dell'anima**_

_**Edward's Pov.**_

"_Run Mattie, come on your not playing it right.!" the young eight year old said, running after his little sister, her brown eyes were looking up at him and wonder, and she squealed trying to run, as he tackled her by the pond, she started laughing, as he lay on the grass laughing too._

_He felt eyes on him, turning his head, the boy saw in the window a man standing there, a sneer on the mans lips, his brown eyes flashing to the girl and back at the boy._

I looked at my father, standing there with a glare in his brown eyes. It had been years since I truly was this up close with him. I saw nothing but my younger sister in his eyes, it was true how the saying went. That sons looked like their mothers, and the girls grew up to be like their fathers, and this happened to fit with my father.

My father had her brown hair, her coal brown eyes, her cheek bones, fuck he had every feature of Mattie's face that had haunted me. I happened to look like my mother, so it was a bit of relief for me that I looked nothing like him.

"Are you going to let me Edward?" his cruel voice accused suddenly, his coal eyes sweeping over the hallway that his son was standing in, Edward could not help notice the aroma of stale blood coming towards him in drawls.

"oh" he merely said, moving aside so that his father could come in. he watched his father glancing at the walls and around at the pictures, his eyes narrowed before he turned back to look at Edward.

"Is the doctor home?" his father said, Edward following behind him, as his father seemed to move into the living room, his eyes, never seeming to stop moving.

"No I am afraid, Carlisle is not" I said growing suspicious with my father, he turned his head after sitting down in Carlisle's lounge chair, that familiar smirk that I had seen as kid run across his lips.

"_Edward, you know better than to behave like that" Elizabeth said, looking at her son, she picked him up slowly, birthday cake drenched all over his hair, and the young girl followed behind the mother. The boy saw his father standing there at the doorway, with a smirk on his lips, as Elizabeth came towards him._

"_Talk to you father" she had whispered putting the boy to his feet, and he stared up in horror, as the smirk widened the moment his little sister and mother disappeared._

"So your on first terms with this man, are you not?" Anthony's voice interrupted, Edward turned his head another waft of stale blood pierced his nostrils.

"Yes, sir" he said slowly, and saw the frown on his father's lips replace from a sneer, to a desolate frown, that seem to be etched his father's facial features.

"Good, I came here to talk to you today" Anthony said, leaning up in his chair, Edward felt the thirst rising in him, but it was small compared to the feelings of hate that he had towards this man sitting before him.

A moment of pain, passed, through him and he wondered whether his father was going to be here all day, and if Carlisle would soon return.

"About?" he said, a part of him became curious at once.

"Your sister" he said, that frown instantly turned into a smile, that smile that had seemed to give him chills, he moved his shoulders just a little trying to get comfortable in the seat, as the curiosity managed to control the thirst.

"_Daddy is home" the four year old girl screeched with excitement, the boy laughed tenderly helping the girl reach the door knob._

"_Edward I can't reach it" the girl complained, and the boy pulled the little girl into his arms, and she turned the door knob, where there father stood there behind it, with a devilish smile on his face._

"_Madison," he whispered sulkily and grabbed the girl from the boy, and held her close to him, while his glare ran down on the boy._

His father always seemed to put his younger sister above all else, except his mother of course, Edward however was the last that was loved. Edward often wanted to yell at his father, but he was much to young then. Anthony would always bring Madison treats and special prizes, and when Edward complained, his father would always smirk, and reply.

"_Men always spoil their ladies Edward."_

"What about her?" Edward said, coming back to reality as his father connected eyes with him for a mere second, that same smirk was coming back onto his lips, and Edward couldn't help but tighten his fists.

"I need to know if I can take her stuff to my house, your mother left all her possession's to you" he literally growled. Edward looked at him in shock, why, would his mother leave him his sisters things?

"So you need my permission?" Edward almost but smirked at his father, the monster in him was laughing at the older man.

"I don't need any permission from you" Anthony smirked at his only son, the look of hatred penetrated in those deep brown eyes, Mattie's brown eyes.

"But she left them to me" Edward stated matter-o-factly.

His father's mouth opened up into a devil's sneer, Edward felt another shiver run down his spine, his thoughts began to wonder, he even didn't dare read his father's mind.

"But their _mine" _his father growled, his sneer never leaving his mouth, Edward trembled but something didn't seem right at all, was there something missing, why was he wanting Madison's things so badly?

"_Edward, Edward, come here!" the girls voice squealed, from inside her room, the boy rushed in to see her and his father, playing a small game of checkers, she was sitting on his lap, while Madison made the next move._

"_Edward" his father nodded, with a simple smirk, as he sat across from the watching his father take a turn, soon his eyes drifted towards his fathers hand, it was on her thigh, so very close to between her legs, he turned his head away thinking it was nothing, and merely smiled at his little sister's screeches of joy_

Edward paused for a moment, the memory of that moment flooded his mind, his eyes widened just a few inches, as he looked up at his father, a new era of some secrets seem to be lying on the floor that was between them.\

"They are the family's, but more importantly they are Mattie's " I said with conviction, trying to see if he would give me the answer, that a part of my mind was trying so viscously not to believe.

His father smirked, and arose, as did Edward and the two men looked at each other with nothing but unregimented anger.

"They were the family's until Elizabeth died" he growled, a tiny smirk revealing across his pale lips.

"What do you mean?" I said, shocked, that he would talk about his wife, and my dead mother in such a devil's tone. His cruel laughter flooded around the room and around in my head, another wave of stench ran through my nostril's and I felt my control slipping.

"God Boy, do you need glasses" he smirked slowly, taking another step towards his son, Edward felt a tremor of pain run through his body, as Mattie was looking back at him, her face pale.

"I _loved _her" he sneered at me.

"Who?" I said, slowly, feeling my hands tighten into fists, praying to god that he was going to say my mother, but I stared into his eyes, it hit me.

_He loved Mattie, Not like a normal love._

"That's why you left mom, after Madison died!" I growled slowly, feeling my fangs almost coming down to show.

He smirked slowly, knowing that I had figured it out, I grew a dreading breath, the anger and sadness in me was to much to bear, I knew there was something wrong with the way Mattie was treated better more than mother, or the way he always held her like that.

He loved my sister, like a women, he wanted her like some kind of pedophile, that's why he left my mother so he could have another kid with that witch, and fall in love with her.

"_Edward!" his mother's cry came from downstairs, the eleven year old rushed downstairs to find his mother laying on the floor, her tears drenched, and her make- up was running down her face, suddenly he heard a door shut._

_He took a breath, and he felt his fingers grab onto the door, only to see the car moving down the driveway, the pain screamed in him to run as he realized that his father wasn't coming back, he ran as far as he could, seeing that smile glitter through the window as he fell too his knees._

He flinched slowly, before turning his eyes to glance at his father, the pure hate rushing through his body made him want to drain him dry, suddenly nothing mattered but the fact that his father had molested his sister, loved his sister in an unnatural way.

"Your sick!" was all he managed to say as his father merely smirked at him and headed towards the door, he followed closely, before his father pulled the front door opened, and turned and grabbed his son by the chin, pulling his face so closely towards his fathers, he felt the smell of blood waft across his nostrils, and the shaking ran through him.

"You killed her, don't blame me, if you hadn't had killed her, than we would all be happy, but no you were to selfish, you murderer" he smirked and Edward felt what was left of his dead heart shatter, as he watched his father step out of the threshold and with a smirk, headed towards his car.

"_Mattie_!, _Mattie, please wake up," the young man said slowly, holding the wet girl from the ground, he rubbed the dirt out of her brown eyes, the tears mixing in with his, as he tried to shake her shoulders._

"_Mattie, Please… I love you" he whispered holding the little girl in his fragile arms as the tears fell down his cheeks, as he watched his sister never open his eyes, and he heard the sound of a door open downstairs._

A sob ran through my body, tears that I knew couldn't come were trying as hard as they could, I had murdered my sister, if it hadn't been me that had let her so close to the pond, we would be together.

I looked out the door at the trees, the pain rushing through me, as a flash of her face ran through my mind, and I burned with sadness.

I didn't even feel myself get to my feet. I didn't even remember running through the woods, letting the pain take me.

I don't even remember as I ran through the woods see an old ford coming down the driveway towards the house.

"_Murderer"…_

A/n;

**Yes… your going to kill me aren't you. Bet you weren't suspecting that that was the real reason why his father hated him, hoped you liked the little version's of Edward's past. Wasn't Edward cute with cake messed up in his hair. Thanks unexpected for that yet another surprising drama moment.**

**Who's the car?, is perhaps Carlisle coming back home, what will he find, where is Edward going, are you ready for more, do you like this drama?, should I give you more, I need to know what you think, are you angry with me.**

**Btw please look up Chace Crawford and tell me what you think of him?, please? And I bet your wondering why Edward didn't kill his father, any ideas?**

**Btw. The title for this chapter is Italian for "Darker than blood" don't you think that it fits how his father is?**

**Review. Love. Care for me.**

**Adieu**


	16. No sympathy for the Dead

**A/n;**

**Ha. You must have to excuse my mere excitedness(ha-ha is that even a word). If you don't know why I am super excited, look up at the review line. 50!!!! REVIEWS!!!. I know it's a definite border for 100. But thanks to **_**Sage Punk,**_** who happened to be that reviewer that made my day (but isn't it obvious?). Okay, now I want to answer a few question's that I got from friends. Btw I choose Edward's sister name easily. (since my little sister is named Madison).**

**One; Why does Edward have fangs?.**

_**Obviously, I am a huge Anne Rice fan, I love the concept of fangs, almost giving the vampire a more Cat-like figure, I mean come on, they crouch as well and have teeth like cats**_

**Two; Is Edward's father coming back?**

_**Honestly, he will come back. I am not going to have Carlisle kill him, because it's not his time to die, just yet, and besides I am not making Carlisle turn bad in this(well except in bed). *laughs evilly***_

**So there's the answer to some of your questions, I also want to say that when I thought of the title for this next chapter, I realized that it's also a song by Escape the Fate, so All time Low. Well you get to enjoy it.**

**Oh a word to the wise, start paying attention to the quotes. Hmmm?**

**Oh and on another note, I would like to thank **_**unexpected, **_**for another twist, this twist for this chapter, I don't think anyone will see coming, especially **_**SagePunk**_**.**

**Chapter Dedications.**

_**Snazzy Kyle(for being my creeper). SagePunk(for being my Muse) and for James's for being **__**my Edward, with a dash of Carlisle.**_

_I sat there with my eyes closed. Holding onto the sob's that I knew were never there, I leaned down onto the young boy and sunk my teeth in. Only a shot of blonde hair could stop me._

**Chapter 16**

_**No sympathy for the Dead.**_

_**Carlisle' pov.**_

I stopped the car, my eyes frozen on the wide open door, I moved closer to examine that no one was inside the house. I turned slowly, to see footsteps running down into the woods, before shutting the door.

I tried calling Edward's name in my head. I wondered if he had been angry at me for my sudden leave, but I had to get out of there, before I fucked-up any relationship that I knew that Edward and I were going to share.

No sound's rushed into my mind, I looked down at the mud, small tracks almost the size of a boys were moving large spaces apart. I realized with a shaky sigh, that those were defiantly not human tracks, I moved slowly at first following the path, the rain nearly soaking my suit(which I would have to wash). But the steps kept getting wider and wider, I realized something was wrong.

In the end I ended up flinting along, following the path of footsteps, leading past the clearing, where, Edward and I had had our first hunt together.

I was getting worried, I had never allowed Edward to go past the clearing, for the fact that he might run into a local bicyclist. I felt the unneeded gasp rush through me, as the rain hit me like ice.

I froze suddenly, when I passed towards the local graveyards gate, I stopped trying to calm down as thunder cracked along the sky, lightning was very close. But what shocked me most is.

"EDWARD!" I screamed, opening the metal gate, and heading toward the figure in black, drenched from head to toe, leaning down by some grave stone.

I stopped a few inches from the boy, as he sit drenched next to the grave stone. I felt another wave of rain collide down onto the boy, as the wind picked up. I looked at the stone capsule next to him.

_Madison Masen_

1903-9011

The moment I saw that, I had it confirmed, that the boy leaning down, his sobs and unshed tears were from Edward. I leaned down very close to him, he must have felt something because I felt his back tense.

"I killed her… god… I k..killed her" his voice was stuttering, I raised an eyebrow, before finally having the nerve to run my fingers down his arm, his head wiped back. I was shattered then and there.

His eyes were the lightest green, with a faint line of black around the iris's the showed nothing but pain, to much of it. Before I knew what I was doing. I pulled him up into my arms, he looked lost, and repeated the lines from before. Over and over again, I wondered if it was my fault that that I had left him, to his own thoughts.

I was halfway towards our house, when a single voice broke through my measure of thought. I looked down at him, his eyes closed, his fingers lightly gripping onto my arms, he was shaking from the cold.

"_father was right, oh so right."_ he moaned and another sob swept over him, the tears that wouldn't fall almost begged to come out.

I looked up reaching for the door, switching him, to wrap his legs around my side, like one would carry a young child on their hip. He was gripping onto my shirt, the sobs not stopping, but I had a different mood set, one of my faulty mood settings.

_Anger with a slight hint of confusion._

I wondered, if something had happened while I was gone, what if his father called him, or even worse… what if his father had come to house, for some reason the thought of whether his father was alive or not, well it didn't matter to me as much as Edward's safety.

His sobs had stopped, his head laying on my chest. He was sleeping, or at least he had knocked him out. I paused slowly and leaned up and undid his over wet top, undressing him slowly, so that he was just in his boxers, which, had oddly still be dry. I redressed him in a old shirt of mine and sweat pants, keeping my mind on more Christian like things, than knowing the fact that he was completely naked.

I laid him down onto the couch, covering him with a soft blanket. I watched him sleep for nearly an hour, never letting go of his hand, which, was so warm against my cold hands. But yet it was so small in my own.

"Carlisle" his voice whispered slowly, his eyes fluttering. I knew within an instant that he might have a headache, I leaned down so that I could hear him properly.

"Yes love?" I whispered, hoping that the fact that I had let that word slip would not cause him to be in any emotional pain.

His green eyes locked on mine, a tiny gasp, ushered from his mouth. I couldn't help but smile at him with such ease, knowing that he was feeling better, knowing that he was not hurt.

"Father came by" he whispered, nearly hissing it. I saw his fangs slowly, and my stomach churned.

_I was getting turned on by his fangs, and the sound of his hiss, oh dear lord._

Then the anger came back, I helped him lean up, my eyes never leaving from his now dark green eyes, he ran his fingers through his hair.

"What do you mean he came by?" I said slowly, running my hand over his cheek, trying to comfort him in anyway possible.

"He came a few hours… ago. Telling me that he was going to retrieve Madison's. *wince*. Things" he whispered slowly, his fangs had came down even more, and I felt the anger and pain rush coming around us.

"What did you say?" I said, trying to know more of what, had happened. He leaned up slowly, his eyes brushing with a hint of black, well even more than he had had in his eyes earlier. He leaned up.

"At first, I wanted to kill him ,god that blood was driving me nuts" he said slowly, a flicker of crimson came through his eyes at that, but was replaced, with a darker green.

"But then I thought about what you said. So I told him that he had no right to take my sisters possessions" he said slowly, shaking, I felt his hand start shaking in my badly.

"And?" I whispered slowly.

"He told me he loved her, like.. Loved .. Loved her" he nearly growled, I saw his fangs glitter in the lamp light, they looked terrifying on a boy such young an age.

I was shocked. His father had loved a daughter, in that ungodly like way, like a lover, like he need to be shown love in return, like he thought Edward was fighting for the same love that he was fighting for. It made me tremor with utter disgust, I felt Edward's eyes on me, and I turned back to look at him.

"Disgusting?" he agreed with more of a question, his other hand rubbing his forehead. I realized that I still had a lot of explaining to do about last night, and this morning's little late night episode.

"Don't worry, Carlisle." he smiled, his fangs made his dimple come out onto his cheeks.

"I know you left, because you loved what you did, I am not going to stop you doing, or saving those humans, that never had a chance like Mattie hadn't had." he whispered, his eyes showing with love.

I still felt bad, I still felt ashamed that I had not left some kind of sign, or a note for him to wake up and understand why I had left to save patients, this day.

"Is there anyway I could make up to you, make you not be sad that I didn't tell you" I said slowly, watching his fangs slide back up, his smile never leaving his face, but a sudden gleam in his eye caught my attention.

"Well there is one way," he said slowly, and I thought I saw that crooked smile come up to a smirk on the corner of his mouth.

I looked at him with eagerness, wanting to help remove any sadness that had glazed his features for this horrible day.

"Make me forget today" he said slowly, with a smile. I was confused about how he wanted to me to help him forget about this day that I would regret leaving for, for centuries.

"How?" I whispered, feeling his breath grazing over my lips, and I all but wondered if I was human now, would I possibly have been blushing at this moment.

I saw the tips of his fangs glitter in his smile, It made me think of that saying that Arro had told me once. There really was no sympathy for the dead. I felt my eyes widened as he said those words.

"_Make love to me Carlisle_"

**A/n;**

**Oh my lord, aren't I just the devil. Ha I made Carlisle carry him like a little boy. *ignores the fact that that last sentence just blew everyone's mind*. Well how did you like that scene, more of the guey romantic Carlisle, more of the patronized Edward, I know you must think that I am babying them both, but trust me, that is all about to change, I look forward to what you all think of the twist. And the fact that Carlisle seemed to ignore that fact that Edward could have killed someone.**

**oh and remember, don't forget to pay attention to the quotes you never know where you might see them again, thanks again to IWATCHEDHERDIE, for another musical inspiration, any thoughts on what music i should listen to to help me write, for next time?**

**Carlisle must really love Edward, I mean littler ally, and I almost cried when I said that Carlisle had called him his mate, so please love me for who I am and tell me you thoughts about the next chapter.**

***evil laugh***

**Adieu**


	17. Rejet par le diable

**Finally, I needed to ****update for you all, so I loved the reviews that I got, I would like to thank some of the people that I have been inspired by this week,(2 of them you know : )). I would also like to say that I think I have the new ending for this, still looking for someone to make a trailer for this, anyone want to be any takers?**

**So as I was saying, this chapter might piss you off, or make your knee's go weak. I had special help with this, my friend James,(my Edward on all things romantic). Has told me that lemony squirts are almost as delicious as lemony apple(**_**SagePunk**_** should get the reference from an earlier chapter.) he has helped me with a big part of this chapter, since, he too has a dark side : )**

**I also want to warn the audience that this is not someone under 12 can read. Though if you have a demented mind(like myself). You must understand how hard it is to write something so sweet and delicious.**

**Chapter Dedication's for this chapter are as follows.**

_**LaviePastiche.(for I am still a Edward/Bella fan, just with a hint of jasper.). **_

_**Kuntrygal.( Bitch is the shit)**_

_**And lastly, which I think everyone should read, though, it's still being written is the lovely new story for Edward/Jasper fans called. "Passion and Distraction" by lovely **_**Msashlyjudd8**

**Anyways, I don't own any of the characters of the fiction. Only the author and her demented mind own any of this. The only thing that is mine is (**_**fangs, they sleep, Edward is innocent and my fetish with describing their eyes Loll) **_

**So shall we begin?**

_**"Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?"**_

**Chapter 17**

_**Rejet par le diable**_

_**Carlisle's pov.**_

I pressed him down on the couch, my mouth locked on his, my teeth biting at his lower lip, the blanket was between us, but I could feel the heat. I could feel him hard against me. I wanted more, I wanted to rip of this blanket, I wanted to feel him hard against me, grinding down on me.

_So naughty…._

" Mmm….Carlisle" He groaned, his hips pressing into mine, hard and fast. I looked down at him, his collar was ruffled, his hair was everywhere. His body was giving into the sensation of this night, his fingers ripped at my shoulders. His smirk dazzlingly on his warm… hot mouth.

But his eyes, Ohm, his eyes made me want to rip off the blanket between us, and fuck him, his eyes were metallic black with a ring around the iris that was crimson, I was dying to do it to him, give him something to remember, I wanted to show him just how much one could feel from the intimacy that was flowing around us like a shadow on the wall.

I pulled his mouth onto mine, receiving a delicious groan , from his lips, I pressed my hips harder down on him and began rocking them.

His nails grabbed onto the back of my shirt, his lips leaning back to gasp for air as his body rubbed against mine, I felt my dick harden at the thought of what it would feel like inside of him..

"_Carlisle…"_ his voice whimpered, I knew that since he was in this so much ecstasy, well, I knew my body wasn't going to give up, I wanted him so badly but I never in my life experienced this type of pleasure or love with another man.

Sure Caius had told me of his few escapades with a few young men in his human lifetime, but then again in the back of my mind I realized that he probably had manipulated them into doing the deed, so their wasn't much idea's flowing from me after that about gay mean.

I looked down at him for a moment, our eyes connected and our breathing, though unneeded came out hard and fast. I leaned up and tore off the blanket, and I groaned against him feeling his hard dick rub up against mine.

I heard a animalistic growl come from him. I literally leaned back when I heard this, this boy was very full of surprises, I couldn't help moaning at the little dirty smirk I saw on his lips as he tugged on my hair and pulled me against him, his tongue pushed and did battle with mine.

_Fuck him!_

The monster in me demanded with such cruelty, I grabbed onto his silky hair, and kissed him back, biting him on his lower lips, and felt him grinding up against me. I moaned into his mouth, before I realized, I had him suddenly pushed him up against the wall, his legs hitched around my waist.

His eyes grew wide, and a flicker of green passed through them, I thought he was going to stop me, he leaned down and ran his hand through my hair, before his fingers pulled on it and he leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"_Well, well, Carlisle. You have been naughty, haven't you?" _I nearly came at my pants at that, when did this young boy turn so dominant, and why in my head did my monster love this kind of Edward.

"Yes" I growled and bucked my hips hard into him, receiving a tiny squeak from him, his eyes got darker and he began bucking against me, his mouth lay on mine and his tongue did battle sending a way of fire deep down in me and down my spine, his moans seeming to get louder, the sounds went straight to my dick.

I moved his hips and pushed our hard-on's together making his head lean back against the wall and hearing another loud growl from him, I heard the wall shaking just a little bit before his fingers started undoing my shirt.

I purred loudly as his breathing became heavy, as his fingers kept slipping on the buttons.

"Shit.. Fuck" he cursed lowly, and I was pulsating against him, it was rare to hear Edward curse, but I loved it when he did , he happened to make everything seem so cruel and lustful.

_My dirty, dirty, boy._

Yes, that was the issue here, this boy that was seemingly trying to bring the monster out to play was _mine._ I could hardly stand it that I had met this boy, that his mother had asked my permission to save him.

I growled with dominance as I helped him rip off my shirt before pressing myself hard against him, rocking my hips against him. Over and over again. It was like I was fucking him, only the barrier of clothes was in his way.

"Oh….fuck….Edward… yes… good boy" I heard the monster shout from my lips as his nails ran down my back, his hips meeting mine. I was nearly close to coming and my mouth was biting down his neck.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!._

The sound of the phone rang in my ears, but Edward and I just ignored it, it would pick up the answering machine if something had been misplaced. All I wanted was him now, and the monster would have no interruptions.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

"God!" I heard Edward moan against me, his breathing was very heavy as I stopped my ministrations and he tightly onto my body, I looked at him with a sigh and leaned down on the table to grab the phone.

"Hello?" I said trying to steady my breathing. Edward was leaning his head onto my chest, his body and fingers were shaking against me, and I could still feel him against my thigh.

A hoarse voice yelled back into my ear, and I almost held it out, but put it to my ear again after the screaming had stop.

" we need you!" a young girl's voice said, sounding like a young doctor, since most of the doctors were pretty young to me.

I took a breath before the doctor in me resumed his well known appearance and I breathed into the phone.

"Can you get Marshall on it… I'm-" but she cut me off, which, I found was one of the rude things that I hated when humans these days did.

"His wife is sick in the morgue, more of his family is coming by the second, he asked specifically for you, please doctor" she whimpered sadly and I felt my heart instantly melt. I knew I had to go there, I had to save their lives, Marshall was a dear human friend of mine.

I felt Edward not moving, his fingers holding me weakly, I felt his eyes stare up at me with some so confusion, I knew I had to make another choice.

"Yes, I'll be there as soon as I can" I respond stiffly, while feeling Edward's breath hitch against the angle of my neck.

"Thank you!" she said and hung up, I put the phone down and felt his breath crack for just moment.

"Edward-" I whispered slowly. My fingers running down his back, his back clenched the moment my fingers started on his shoulders.

He was angry.

"What?" he said after sliding down off me, his eyes avoiding mine as he fixed the collar of his shirt, before they looked at me.

The pain I saw at the graveyard was still there, only this time a mixture of confusion and anger were there as well.

"I have to go, they need me" I said my voice almost sounding like a plea. He rolled his eyes slowly, and I knew that he was hiding something from me.

"Can I come with you?" he said shocking me. I pulled my shirt back on before glancing black into his now dark green eyes. I noticed a few bruises on his skin, a thread of guilt ran through me.

"Carlisle?" he said, his patience was wearing thin, his eye growing darker by the moments that passed between us.

"No" I said slowly, and saw a flash of pain glitter along his face, and then he quickly hid it from me with another ounce of anger.

"You don't trust me?" he nearly growled, I watched his fingers curl into fists and his body was shaking.

"I do Edward but-" I tried but he just laughed.

"You think I would just walk up to one of them, rip their head off, and drain them dry?" he sneered the words watching me flinch.

"No" I said firmly, knowing that I would not have let him get anywhere near the humans or the families that were staying there to keep an eye on their loved one. I saw another flicker of pain covered up by the anger.

"Then why can't I go?" he growled as he watched me pull on my shoes and grab my suitcase with my supplies, I leaned up and glanced at him.

"I won't lose you" I said simply.

I heard a growl that flashed between us. His eyes had turned a dark black and his fangs ran down threatingly over his lips. I saw a flash of Caius in him them, and that mere thought scared me.

"So you don't trust me, Don't lie to me" he said slowly, I looked at him with a bitter ounce of pain as I headed towards the door. I did trust him, god I trusted him more than I should. But he didn't believe me that I didn't want to lose him, I didn't want him to lose to that monster that was still quick on the surface.

"Edward Enough" I said trying to be firm as I held open the door, a blast of cold air made me pause before I felt his hand grab my wrist and I turned my head to look at him.

He was standing just a few steps behind me, his eyes showing nothing but shock, anger and lastly a deep pain, his mouth held into a tight scowl and a look of I'm sorry ran through his face.

_Carlisle please stay…_

He whispered in his mind, I looked at him for a second glance and turned slowly and stepped over the threshold.

"I have to do this please.. We have eternity" I said slowly, and thought I heard a whimper from him. But by the time I turned around he was gone. I leaned and pulled the door heading to my ford. I paused for a moment slowly letting my mind open so that maybe he would speak to me.

"_Carlisle. Please don't leave me" _his voice whimpered into my head. I still had the image of pain flicking from his eyes in my head.

"_Edward….Please"_ I whispered and before I turned the corner I could have sworn I heard a loud Thunk from my house.

**A/n;**

**Well, Well, how do you feel about that little scene. Don't worry that lemon squirt is merely a taste of what will come in two chapters, you will see. But first didn't you love that little devil of Edward. When he leaned his head back in growled fangs down, mmmmm, yes tell me what you think..**

**I also want to know your thought's on Carlisle position I mean he is very compassionate and only thinks of others. Doesn't he have the right to choose. Or do you think he should have stayed there with Edward, making him forget.**

**Hmm?**

**Well I will be doing Edward's pov next, I mean seriously after that little way shouldn't I.**

**I also want you to find the quote I used from breaking dawn, and tell me which character said it. It happens to be my favorite character in the second part of the book.**

**Btw the title of this chapter was in French "Rejection from the devil" hmmm, your thoughts on why I made it that.**

_**The song's I listened to are as follows. "Angel" by Within Temptation. And forsaken by Korn, from the movie "Queen of the damned." oh and for the record SagePunk. I would like to say that my three favorite books from AR. Are. "Tale of the Body thief" (Mmm David/Lestat. Second favorite "Interview with a Vampire" ( I love Louis.) and third. "Blackwood Farm". (Mmm Quinn).**_

_**Anyways,**_

_**Adieu : )**_


	18. Frozen

Well I am back from my dads. I read Over the top's new chapter, and I am very happy to say that I am excited that they are back together-kas- makes me smile. Thank you sage punk. Now the first quote was not from breaking dawn. The one I wanted you to look for was this; **"**_Well, well, Carlisle. You have been naughty, haven't you?"- _**said by my favorite vampire in the last part of Breaking Dawn. Stefan, the Russian vampire. I loved him a Vladimir.**

**Anyway, thank you to all that reviewed, you have made me smile, by more than you would know. I am excited that in 13 days I will be turning 18, yeah I can't believe that I will be a twilight fan for four years, it seems like I am still a young school girl.. All steph's characters fascinate me. **

**I was wondering, if you would be interested in reading Jasper/Edward story that I am about to start with my friend Bryan. I have started to like the characters because they seem to be the cutest couple (sorry Bella) **

**Chapter dedications and Inspirations.**

_**CarlislesLover ,Starfish422, Oh Jasper My Jasper,lilyofthevalley77, Kuntrygal(Dr. Hot Bitch stuns me : ) ), Misscullen90( your Carlisle/Bella story is so sweet). James Wells (For being my Edward in everything I am and for loving me in my moments of anger, depression and writers block.) SagePunk.(for being my muse, and for who's name I still need to know loll). Alltimelow, you make me smile( work that pan girl : )) oh and you all should read Xsinny's story.. It will make you cry.. But you will love it.**_

**This will be Edward's Pov. If you need to feel the mood. Look up Hana Pestle's "Need" on You Tube. That will describe what he is playing in the first part. The second part of the story will be by a band called "After Forever". **_**Oh tell me the quote and who said it and you get a surprise : )**_

**Enjoy.**

_"Your brown eyes are amber when the fire catches them," he whispered. "Oh but they are lustrous and dark, two glossy mirrors in which I see myself even as they kept their secrets, these dark portals of a rich soul." _

**Chapter 18**

_**Frozen**_

_**Edward's Pov**_

Cold white fingers touched the tips of the piano keys, playing with such reverence that the dark bottom of hell might as well wake up to listen. They played a soft tune of ivory, of sadness, of the mark that was leaving him in this lonely house.

The white hands sped up just a tiny bit, letting the music released from the piano embark the room in solitude but yet with a hint of sadness, of some lustrous need to be freed by something that was gone past.

Edward looked into the mirror, still hearing his fingers hit the keys with such anger and reverence. His head was killing him, and he wondered had he been human that this was what human headache would have been known as.

Around him the room lay in a messy, empty glass lay all over the floor and a couple of table had been knocked over. But he didn't seem to care that much to even pick them up. The only thing he managed to pick up was the tune that wafted through his mind and his fingers.

His thought's were frozen in a mere memory of the past. He was wondering what could possible he be thinking about playing. But like all his life the music seemed to freeze him to no end in this matter.

"_Can you get Marshall on it… I'm-"_

Yes that was what Carlisle had tried to do, tried to stay with him. His monster in him was threatening to break something before that. His fingers held tightly onto Carlisle's shoulders.

He could still feel the fire run through their connection.

He could still feel the fire that had run through each kiss that had blessed his lips with some love and urgency. But the monster in him was growling at the sad remark that that man had left him alone to think.

Edward hated being alone as much as any human man left being alone, when his lover was out saving the world without him.

Edward watched his eyes turn into a soft amber in the mirror as he kept playing, the sound got smooth but yet held the anger that was still in his head.

"_Edward….Please"_

He heard Carlisle's last word's flicker through his head. His fingers pressed hard onto the keyboard messing up the music.

"Fuck" he growled slowly, finally getting to his feet. He stared at himself in the mirror. The marks that lined his neck were shaming him, his monster was growling with anger. But the good side of him was smiling that Carlisle was doing something good.

Saving humans that still might have a chance that his sister didn't have.

But all he wanted was something so small to saving them at the hospital, had he not said it in the right words? Had he been evil in his remarks to ask Carlisle to show love to him? Had he taken away Carlisle's every ounce of humanity to lay with him on the couch and kiss him.

_No. Honestly Edward you think that he would have stayed anyway?, those humans mean more to him than you do._

The monster's voice growled into his ear as he turned away from the mirror and began to put up the table back, and went to the closet to clean a broom. His eyes turned a little to look at the wall.

It was pushed in and the memory flashed of him and Carlisle against it. The friction felt so good that the rush of the memory had Edward purring slowly to himself, as he pulled up the glass from the floor.

"_I have to do this please.. We have eternity" _Carlisle had told him with a painful look in his eyes.

"No you didn't have to save any of them, they all deserved to go to heaven, why did you have to save them?" he growled slowly as he walked up the stairs, feeling Carlisle all over him, he knew he needed a shower.

He pulled off his clothes and stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes were a dark green. His mother's face was staring back at him…. Only then did the face turn to Carlisle's.

He growled slowly and turned the water on. Holding his hand under it to make sure that I was the right temperature.

Once inside of the water. He ran his fingers around the soap scrubbing himself. Feeling his stomach churn with some kind of lust. His imagination ran through the monster in his mind, it showed him pushing Carlisle against the wall and fucking him.

The monster purred with lust inside of him. His fingers running down his sides, cleaning, the traces of Carlisle's fingers that had been there for what seemed like merely minutes ago.

He leaned his head against the wall, letting, the water pour down on him. Letting the memories fade around him.

_You don't want to wait for him?, Come on don't get tired, be angry that he left you hear alone. Be angry!_

A slow smirk ran across his lips and he opened his eyes to reveal the black iris's. he stared at the ceiling. His mind and heart being made up.

He leaned down, sliding to the bottom of the tub. His eyes closed as he tried to picture the happier day's when Mattie was alive. He could see the birthday cake being flown around the room as he chased her that day. He could see them laughing as he read her a bed time story.

But soon those memories darkened slowly. The young girl turned to a older man with blonde hair. Blue eyes that seemed to pierce through his soul, the only breath, seeming to be taken away.

He opened his eyes and rolled them slowly. Leaning up to clean his face with the soap. Letting water pour down his face making his bangs float down into his face.

He was done with the pain.

He slid out of the shower. Grabbing the towel and wrapping it around his waist before his eyes, once again, settled on the mirror. His eyes were black and the monster that lay behind them had a grin on his face. He could feel his heart, dead and cold, tremble with shivers. He could hear the sound of footsteps in his mind, as he explored it.

"Carlisle" he breathed slowly leaning up to wipe the steam that had laid on mirror, and he brushed it back with his hand.

The face that reflected back shocked him. A large crooked sneer was on his lips. His eyes the deepest black that he had ever seen.

His monster was out in the cold. He knew that he was going to wait for Carlisle , prove, to the man he loved that he was better than any child that Carlisle happened to save in the hospital. He opened the bathroom door and stepped into the cold hallway.

He tightened the towel around him as he walked toward the spiral staircase.

_You're going to wait for him?!. Wait?! Why?_

The monster jammed his thought's with that. The only clear thing that Edward saw as he stood on the bottom steps was the face of Carlisle in his mind.

The monster chuckled at his idea.

_Naughty Naughty Edward. Do you think he will come back and expect such a surprise from your mind. Do you think that he will be surprised._

Edward's laughter filled the lower half of the house. This laugh was mixed with anger and pain. But a determination of lust as well. He sat on the last step holding his towel in his fist. He knew that he had to wait for his lover to return to him.

Meanwhile the music drifted back to his head. It was a lullaby of sorts. Something so sweet. Yet had a hint of anger and destruction. I leaned back on the last step, waiting patiently for him to come back.

The sneer never stopped on my lips.

_Silly Carlisle, Just you wait._

**A/n,**

**I know it was a little slow. But looks like Edward isn't sad anymore. Quite the opposite actually. Any idea's on what might happen when Carlisle comes back home from working at the hospital.. Which pov should I put it in. hmmm. Btw if you tell me the quote at the top. (which sage punk should know). You will get a teaser or a dedication. Ha. I hope you know that I love you fans. You guys make my day.**

**I will be trying to update for MINY. Still on a writer's block and I have pictures tomorrow so I will try to update as fast as I can. Please don't kill me. Oh I will warn you next chapter. Will be the lemon that you all have waited for, with a few surprises… some of which you will have to remember was the answer to the start of the story.. Sorry if this was too short. The next one will be longer I promise. So if you have any idea's for music for it please let me know. I want something creative… oh and maybe send me a quote?**

**He he I know that you want to kill me. **

**Amway's**

**Adieu**


	19. The girl in the Window

**Hey! Everyone. Thanks for the reviews. I am at sixty ; ). I am very proud of this story. I have a big author's note, but trust me this will another chapter. I hope this is not to long, I just need to update. oh did i mention my birthday is the coming saturday?**

**First of all, yesterday I saw Harry Potter 2x. I have to say that I was amazed at the fact they fit in most of my favorite Harry/Draco scenes!!, So David Yates you get boosts for making the movie awesome. I have also decided that after this story is over and MINY is in the wraps. That I will be starting to write Harry/Draco. It's been almost four years since I started liking them.. But the one I write will be very dark. And a Jasper& Edward one, so be sure to look out for those when you get the chance.**

**Anyways. This chapter will be a bit of spell for me. I wasn't quite sure had to write this, and still am not sure if this is too early. So I decided that I will save the lemon. But I don't want you to stop reading this. For it will come, but this is the chapter that will make you post dread it, because you all know what eventually happened… Plus another factor of No Lemon is that I wrote it on my other laptop and forgot to message it to my mother's laptop. **

**So please don't kill me. Oh and since Sage punk got the quote, although, many of you thought it was from Edward. **_**It was from Marius from Anne Rice's "The Vampire Armand".**_

**Chapter Dedications.**

_**Any. (for being my Sixtieth Reviewer). David Yates for directing the best Harry potter book in the series (I so Cried For Draco when he killed Dumbledore). Cullen Rock : ) . And All time low. Sage Punk (For Being the one I wait for…) oh and James for being my Edward in everything and for still being there.).**_**Kyle Stefan Bolish- For loving me, Breaking my heart 3times, and For still being here to love yet making me realize that "Carlisle Cullen" might actually exist in someone so compassionate.)**

**Oh I don't anything, but I gave Caius a special gift.**

**Oh the song is "Losing you" by Dead by April.**

"_if it isn't my chance to love you than surely you must understand what I went for you?" he said slowly to me. I looked at him with awe and a tint of sadness._

**Chapter 19**

_**The girl in the window.**_

_**Carlisle's Pov.**_

I had gotten out nearly at five A.M. I stood waiting in the parking lot, trying to find my keys for my car. I was scared shitless that the fact that I had no idea what I was coming home to, and that I was praying that he wasn't going to hate me and never speak to me.

I was worried, I could still see those painful green eyes staring into my soul. A wave of shivers ran down my spine, as my were rummaging trough my suitcase looking for my keys. Suddenly I felt as though someone was staring at me. I looked across the street at the town houses that stood there.

I was met with brown eyes. Soft warm brown eyes. A girl of about 14 was staring at me with pleading eyes, I felt the wave of something that I couldn't fathom running through my soul, or , maybe not my soul, how bout dead heart for a better word.

I stared at her, her brown hair down in curls on her shoulders and she was holding a small young boy that was trying to pull on her hair. I felt my heart rush and suddenly nothing matter more than seeing her again, although she looked oddly familiar. that's when the dead rush of realization came through me.

Her father was taken in the morning to the morgue, I remembered seeing him before he breathed his final breath, his brown eyes closing and his brown hair pulled into spikes. That was where I recognized her face from, she looked ever so like him.

I felt my keys hit the tips of my fingers, but I couldn't stop staring, I suddenly watched as she took up the tiny little boy's hand and made it wave. I felt my heart start to bustle with utter bliss.

The girl looked at me suddenly, with pain in her eyes. The sun was twinkling over my arms, and I realized that she saw the unique sparkle about me. I looked back up only to find her gone. I instantly cursed myself, at the thought of the girl leaving because of the monster that I was.

I opened the door to my old' ford and took a seat, relaxing for a minute before starting the engine and pulling it out of the hospital parking lot.

The sun was coming up so slowly this morning. But I don't remember much of it, a part of me was suddenly thinking about Edward.

I wondered if he was still angry, or perhaps sleeping up in his room, readying himself for the fight that I knew his monster was going to progress in him.

But as well, the girl, was swimming through my mind like a lily pad floated along the water's edge of a waters bank.

I felt as though my heart was going to beat again, the moment I thought about her. I knew it was wrong to think about such a young girl, even though she looked to be Edward's age….

"_So you don't trust me, Don't lie to me"_

I shivered slowly, hearing his voice whiz through my mind. I could remember that look in his eyes, sadly to say that I saw Caius in them, as the monster was trying it's hardest to hold up and remove the love that he had for me.

That was the thing that I hated most of being a vampire.

_Our Monsters._

I remember that first day that I had found Volterra, Italy. Seeing young children running around and people running to catch them, as the plague was running through the streets them. I had wondered to myself, about how they could just run outside and not give fear to the monster's that hid underneath the streets.

Meeting Arro and Marcus was first, I was not allowed to see Caius, probably for the reason that I was still a new born. Arro was perceptively funny, he could see the humor in anything, and was a great teacher. Marcus was his older brother and was more assertive than anything else, but he didn't mind the fact as much as Arro and Caius did that I drank animal blood.

But that was not thing my brain wanted to tell me. It had been nearly a week since I had started living with the three brothers but never once met Caius, until one night when I had been sleeping.

Caius had came into my chambers, and I suddenly felt angry, destruction and a monster in my mind, trying to force myself to go and kill humans. I had leaned up and red eyes met red eyes, and before I quite knew what was happening.

Caius was running his fingers through my hair, his mouth attached to my neck. I had often wonder what he was doing after he drank my blood and left that night with a devil smile. But I wouldn't know till later after I had left the brothers to move to Chicago.

That's when my monster started to make an appearance, working as an apprentice for a sweet girl doctor was good I had thought but once I had met her, things changed, I began imagining of getting her in my bed, teasing her, drinking from her, and killing her.

This monster in me was even worse with children, the moment a child with a delicious scent came into the hospital, it would take my every being to not give in and drain her or him dry.

I began to lose my thirst for animal blood, but I also started to fight my human blood sucking monster. I realized that when Caius had bitten me, apart of him was put in me, his ability to make a monster out of anyone, make them hateful, making them a full blown killer.

That is why when I had made Edward, I used to monster to help me, although letting him out was going to hurt me, for a part of him would be going into Edward, but I'd never thought I see a part of Caius running around inside Edward.

That is why I decided then an there to make sure that Edward would stay in my house longer, building a better influence with the idea of drinking animal blood. I didn't want him to turn into Caius, I didn't want his monster and my monster to mix.

That's why I will make sure my family, if I ever have more, will stay away from Italy, but more importantly Caius, I don't want the monster's to destroy them, because we all have monster's inside of us when we change, but it is more easy to resist the temptation if we do not rely on them to get the job done.

"_Silly, Silly Carlisle, such a delicious boy you are"_

I could hear Caius only words to me run in my head, as if the memory had just been retained yesterday, and I could feel his body against mine, his hand on my hip, and in my hair.

I shivered slowly as I turned the corner past the little piano shop. I could see the large mansion top through the trees, my home was pitch black, from what I could tell.

I turned on the street, the girl running through my mind with utter ease, I suddenly imagined her running up to me, and her lips brushing mine. Where had this utter idea come from, I kept watching the dream in my head, as suddenly Edward stood behind her with a glare, his eyes wept into pain..

I shook my head deciding that it would be best not to mention this girl from the window tonight, I had a more important task to deal with.

Making sure Edward still or didn't still hate me.

I pulled the car into the drive way, hearing the sound of small lightning bugs buzz around the tiny rose garden that was tucked away behind the side of my house, I watched them for a moment and then turned to get out of my car, and grabbing my suitcase.

I stood looking at the house, there were no lights coming from my bedroom, or none from the living room window. I moved closer towards the door, suddenly feeling as though I should be cautious.

_But why?_ a part of my mind wandered as I began fumbling for my keys, trying to find the right one open my door, I could see only darkness in the tiny window, the hall was pitch black as I tried to open the door.

The shadow of the sunrise moved along the soft carpet as the door creaked open.

"I am home" I yelled slowly pulling off my white coat, still hearing nothing as I shut the door, watching the sun disappear behind it.

Suddenly I heard the piano, only this song sounded so mean, so cruel and yet utter the pain, it was if the person that was playing it, was playing it from memory. I moved closer suddenly to the piano room, the music getting louder and louder and angrier.

I opened the door to see Edward playing dauntingly, his finger's moving fast and his eyes covered by his newly dry hair, he was wearing a new outfit that seemed to cling to his body.

I stood there unable to move, until a demonic voice rang softly like bells through the room.

"_Hello, Carlisle"_

My eyes widened suddenly as Edward turned towards me a nasty sneer running across his lips. But what scared me were the color of his eyes.

Crimson eyes.

**A/n:**

**Well? Did you like it. We finally got a little past reference of Carlisle's little monster appearance, and I wanted Caius to be in it, since he happens to be my favorite of the brothers. Why I am not sure, maybe it is the little devil in me.**

**Did you imagine Carlisle as still a young new born?, Mmm I bet he would still look very tasty. I am sure you can guess who that young girl is in the window but you maybe wrong, I am curious to hear your thoughts.**

**Btw the next chapter will be a treat. With a few surprises, I hope you don't mind, but dark Edward was in this, I find that type of Edward a better vampire than the one we know from twilight, I mean Edward could be the next brat prince.**

**Ha. Still very sorry about the lemon, but it is coming, I dare promise you that, as well as a song that I think fits perfectly.**

**Thanks fans.**

**Adieu **


	20. Demir un avec Monstre

**I hope you don't mind. But I am now 18. My birthday was yesterday. I must say that I have gotten a Edward tee shirt, some money and few masticates. But in so far so good I think I will update with a pleasant little surprise. Tomorrow I still have some shopping so whether I finish this tomorrow or tonight is my desions for it is still 'My' birthday weekend.**

**Any who I would like to say thanks to the small reviews I got, I was a little disappointed that you did not guess at who the girl was. But I am sure most of you think it was the obvious choice and decided only to review about 'eddies' little monster of a problem.**

**The only problem that I had when thinking of how to write this chapter was to whether I wanted it to be in of course Edward's Pov, because I like writing scenes with his monster, I am attracted to the dark Edward I must say, but I have decided to do a Carlisle Pov. That way Edward's pov in the next chapter will be very interesting. (plus I know that we all love a lot more of the ol' doctor right?).oh and one reason I got to a question of about the unique chapter names. I like French chapters.. Plus try and say this one with out feeling lustful. Ahhh ;D**

**Chapter Dedications.**

_OCED(for being a new reviewer). Semfera( for calling him "Eddie" he he). SagePunk (for being my muse). Evanescence(b/c without them this chapter would not flow correctly.). For James (for giving me the best birthday ever, more stories are written but none so like you can the mouth truth speak of them). And last but not least. ATL. (because I miss her : ( )._

_**I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS. IF I DID, PIANO'S WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME WHEN GIRLS LOOKED AT THEM IN MOVIES : D**_

**Remember. Start Paying attention to the quotes. The song's played for this Nc-17 rated chapter are: **_**Thoughtless by Evanescence and Coming Undone by Korn. **_

_"If I'm the guy and I frenzy, I'm just going to keep sucking."_

**Chapter 20**

_**Demir un avec Monstre **_

_**Carlisle's Pov**_

They were narrowed. Those eyes never removed the stance from the dark crimson that flew through them.

_Hungry._

However, they weren't the type of hungry that blood could resist to make them turn back into that lovely green that I had always loved. I am afraid that the boy that is standing before me is not Edward.

It's merely his monster wanting to come from a visit. I knew then and there that I had to keep my guard up, for this was unfamiliar territory that I didn't feel like treading my feet through.

He took another step towards me, his fangs pointy and menacing.

"Carlisle, how was work?" he mused slowly, sounding at though he couldn't care less about how was work.

Suddenly a tiny vision of the girl rushed through my head but I thought I saw Edward's eyes widened as I hid it clearly as it had come.

The monster sneered at slowly, before I watched in almost shock as Edward moved to the floor and began crawling towards me, like how a cat would stalk her prey.

_Slowly and Sensual _

His eyes never left mine as he crawled towards me, his hips moving ever so slightly as he finally made it up near me, getting to his feet slowly, while I felt every inch of him slide up myself as well.

Something clicked in my head to stay alert, because this wasn't the Edward that I fell in love with, it was the monster in Edward. The 'Caius' in Edward if you want a more clear rephrase.

His fingers wrapped around mine and his eyes looked into mine with a short lived smirked as he inclined his lips to be next to my ear, making me involuntarily give a stiff shiver.

"Come with me, please _Carlisle" _I felt the tips of his fangs nip at my earlobe before I felt the sudden waver of control rush through me as my monster was pulling at the chains binding it.

I moved and my brain kept telling me to stop, but I was falling for this dominant Edward, half of my brain was only in the sane world as his pulled me toward the piano, leaning me against the side of it. I felt his fingertips ghost of my hips giving me the urge to moan but I held it in, biting my lip.

"Give them to me" he sneered obviously had read my thoughts, for I knew that he had meant my silent moans that I tried to keep quiet, however that was not going to make this Edward happy.

I felt his fingers pulling at my hair, his hips pressed against mine and I felt his hard dick pressed over my inner thigh through his jeans, but I didn't look down his eyes were staring straight into mine.

I felt a moan escape my lips, causing his fangs to slide an inch down more, now showing through that crooked sneer. I felt another pint of my control slipping as he tugged on my hair, and began running his lips down my neck, brushing them with the tips of his teeth.

"That's it moan for me, lose yourself to me" the monster purred from Edward's voice.

I felt my body betray me at that moment, and I felt myself stiffen as my fingers leaned back gripping at the edges of the grand piano. I watched him smirk even more against my neck, before he leaned down and sunk his fangs into my shirt and into my shoulder.

I let out a gasp as I was not expecting this from the monster quite yet. I felt the blood rushing into Edward's mouth and over my coat, I also felt his nails tugging into my shoulder, and the monster in me was screaming and I was losing control.

I could feel a growl from his mouth vibrate on my shoulder with the more blood he received, but before I could manage to stop him, he pulled black blood lined his lips and fangs that he began to lick off without as much stopping to look at me.

Before his fingers ripped at my shirt.

"_We don't need this"_ I heard him smirk in my thoughts as my shirt dropped to the floor beside us, and his fingers ran down my chest sending tyrants of fire demon's through me and I felt myself begging to be let free from the constrictive jeans that I was wearing.

Suddenly his hips began rocking against mine. Our erections pressing against each other, causing another growl from Edward's mouth and a gasp come from mine. I was feeling my fangs coming down, and my mind was slipping slowly into 'Monster Ville'.

I felt him lean my back onto the top of the piano, spreading my legs with his knee as he bent over and began running his cool tongue around one of my nipples, his dick rocking into my thigh.

I hissed loudly, only making my fangs and monster coming, as my nails clenched the side of the piano with ecstasy as he took it into his mouth, biting it.

I felt my leg kick suddenly as his mouth moved to the other one, breathing my name in his head, as the monster in me was losing control wanting so hard for him to stop but the monster was pushing my mind out of thinking that.

He began rocking against me slowly as his tongue ran in circle's around my navel.

I couldn't control what happened next.

Suddenly I had got up and was behind him, pushing him over the piano. Feeling him whimper at my hardness pressing against his ass.

_Mine, All, Mine._

I purred to myself, rocking against myself. My mouth was on the back of his neck and I pressed my fangs in and out of his neck receiving pure whimper's and hisses from him, which didn't stop me.

I pressed him harder against the piano, having my way, like I had wanted to against the counter all those days ago. I could hear his nails scrapping at the top of the piano, which only fueled my lust for this boy.

I leaned my head up to nearly hiss in his ear.

"I am going to fuck you, god… Edward, I am going to fuck you so hard that the neighbor's will know who you belong too." I bite his earlobe.

His hiss turned into a moan and gasp, as my fingers pushed themselves into the front of his pants. I felt his dick quickly pulsate against my hand.

He was going commando.

"Naughty boy, your going to always do this for me, no one else" I growled into his ear, wrapping my hand around his erection.

I heard a loud moan come from the boy as his nails kept moving against the now polished black top of the piano.

I could see his face, I could see the black lust in them and his fangs down in ecstasy.

_Yes, I would fuck him…. No more waiting.._

"Carlisle" he growled and began pressing his ass into my hardness, I knew with a smirk that he had heard that. We were both not in control anymore and it felt good.

_I can't wait to feel him inside of me…._

My eye's widened at Edward's thought's but yet the monster was chuckling knowing that I wasn't going to stop his thoughts, I was going to complete them.

"Really?" I smirked slowly running my hand up from his base to his tip and back down, achingly slow. I felt him whimper at me as his hips bucked up into my hand.

"What…ughnn" he tried to say, his finger's gripping at the edge of the piano and I could feel it moving slowly as I rocked my hips against him. I smirked slowly and went just a tiny bit faster on him.

"Say you want me to fuck you" I heard my monster's voice arise and I nibbled onto the back of his ear as I continued with my ministration's.

"oh god.." he pulsated at the images that I was giving him with my mind. I thought I could hear the sound of a phone ringing but I didn't care, I wanted what was mine, what is mine.

"Well?" I growled pulling at the back of his head, feeling his velvet curls through my fingers and I felt his head come back with a hiss.

"Yes……." he growled slowly his monster suddenly pushing back against me, as my fingers started to go a little faster, and I couldn't help but chuckle at how hard this boy was getting because of me.

I removed my hand and heard a groan of protest, but I didn't care I would have my way with the boy soon enough, yes my way, the way I wanted to fuck him that day that we were cooking together.

_Poor Edward…._

I turned him around so that his ass was pressed against the piano again. I gripped the front of his jeans and black eyes met crimson ones.

"You will need to get rid of these." I growled slowly, and watched him pull them off for me with a look of urgency and almost fear from me, but didn't care. I wanted what was mine.

I licked my lips slowly, before moving closer to him and whispered;

"Open your mouth Edward" I smirked suddenly as he did what he was told and I stuck my finger in his mouth, and smirked as his tongue moved over it and I felt the tips of his fangs brushed over it.

"that's it my pet, get it nice and wet" I growled slowly feeling my hardness pulsate through me in these pants. I saw him look down at the bump in my jeans and then look at me slowly as he removed his fingers.

I pulled off my jeans letting my dick run out free, it was pulsating and I watched Edward look at it with wonder, I couldn't wait to have it inside of him, feeling him around me.

"stroke it" I growled slowly bringing his eyes back to mine and I saw my reflection in his eyes. My eyes were black and I was sneering as I felt his finger's wrap around my dick.

The monster purred with lust as I couldn't help but buck against his hand as he began stroking it slowly, obviously not very good of the task. I knew that I would have to give him lessons.

I bucked into his hand, while I couldn't help but run my hand down over his bare ass, feeling it stiffen with just a swipe of my fingertips over it. I groaned slowly not wanting to wait any longer.

Once I was long in hard I decided to go back to showing Edward who's monster couldn't win against. Suddenly though I watched a sneer run onto Edward's lips and his eyes turned a darker crimson.

I watched him sit on the piano leaning back, so that he was staring at the ceiling. I couldn't help but watch him in curiosity.. Before I heard his loud snickers, dark snickers inside of my thoughts.

_Well, well, well, are you going to fuck me, you dirty little man._

My eyes widened but they were replaced with another wave of lust as I moved over to him, making him suck on my middle finger till it was ready then I pushed his legs open, running my finger over his opening and watched it tightened.

_Silly, Silly Edward._

I pushed it inside of him, moving it in and out until I felt his head move back as his body pressed down on the finger and I knew that I had found his sweet spot.

Oh… god… he was going to drive me insane.

"fuck me, now you dirty man" he growled slowly rocking against my finger, his fingers running over the top of the piano… his eye red with ecstasy.

I smirked slowly, and positioned myself at his opening, feeling the tip of me slide into him, he clenched his ass and I couldn't help but hiss at him with desire…

"Fuck your tight, little one" I snarled as I moved fully inside of him, giving him a moment of relaxation.

"_move"_ he hissed in his mind and I couldn't help but thrust up into the boy, and I felt my monster roar with triumphant joy. This boy, my boy, was amazingly tight, I knew I would have this again and soon.

The thoughts of the girl never floated my vision for a second, and I felt Edward stiffen as I thrust-ed a second time. I felt him buck against me with ecstasy and his voice hitched as he growled.

"Right there Carlisle, Harder… please" I couldn't help but comply to his request and I pushed harder into him so that we were rocking both of our hips together both of us in pure bliss and the boy melting down underneath me.

"Faster" he growled and I complied.

I felt the piano began rocking back and forth, as small instigated parted me hoped that Edward's precious piano didn't break, but the rest of me was content on fucking this boy.

"Oh god Carlisle " he moaned loudly riding up against me as I heard his nails running over the sides of the piano.. Could feel myself getting closer and closer.

I also felt his breathing getting faster and harder…

Until the moans began… they were frisked moans and loud moans and I could tell that he was ever coming closer to earth. I felt his ass tightened around my dick and the monster growled out loud… causing a harder thrust.

Edward was whimpering below me…begging me with all of himself to let him come, to make me come first.

"Yes… cum for me.. Carlisle" he groaned slowly, with utter hissing as he started to comply with even harder thrusts back against me which only made the piano move harder towards me..

"oh god.." I growled slowly going faster and deeper, feeling him clench around me, I moved my hand over his hard dick and his squeak nearly uncoiled me.

I saw stars, pure white stars and my eyes went black as I felt him clench around me and I felt myself spurge inside of him and him coming only minutes later onto my stomach.

But I was lost in the pure bliss to even notice…

**A/n.**

**Don't kill me. Don't kill me… did I mention it more than once?… were you happy with their first 'time'. not that they will never run out of time. I wonder what will happen now that they're full off monster modes and will be out of focus. What will Edward think, will he lose it. Will they fight.**

**What about the vision's do you think Edward saw anything. More importantly… did I do good. I need some correcting probably. But I think I did an amazing job. For those of you that didn't know what the chapter was called.**

"**Sleeping with a monster" ha!. Did you think that it fit it. I hope you weren't to shocked about the sex, trust me though, there will be plenty more, I mean seriously I love dominant Edward, btw I hope everyone of you buy a piano when your married.**

**Okay, tell me how much you love or hate me.**

**Cheers.**


	21. Stupid Little Girl

**I hope you do not hate. I know it has been a while and I spent all my money, and I went to the Warped Tour yesterday, it was really hot. (about 94)… and muggy. I saw aiden, chiodos, 3oh!3. And met and saw In this moment. I know you must hate me for not updating, but I also have been looking for a new job, and play World of War craft, which btw I am slowly falling into 'addiction with'.**

**It was nice to see the reviews that I have gotten, want to know something I about have as many reviews for MINY as I do this one, and I want to think all my loyal fans for not killing me at all. Now of course this chapter won't be as long, but it will be long enough to satisfy your tastes for the reaction of the lemon.**

**As for if Edward saw the girl, well I think were going to find out soon enough, as well as with the drama that I know will start very soon. I want to thank all of you again and I have received another idea from **_**Unexpected.**_** I think I might have another person show up again, since I all know that you love him.(well maybe not, but I do!).but you will be surprised who show's up…well actually his name might make you laugh : ).**

**I Would like to thank the following Authors and People.**

_**Starfish422. (for making me 'wet' almost every time I read 'Over The Top'). Manyafandom( 'All I Ever Knew' makes me want to cuddle up Jasper and Edward). Stormy Bella, and KickassDraco( for relieving my utter stress.).. And lastly for James, for the best present, and emotional love that I could ever receive.**_

**I don't own anything. Not even the excerpt from Manyafandom :D**

"_Welcome" he looked at me with a cold stare, that stare that I could only imagine was of something that I couldn't fathom…. He was lost to the heaven that had once been ours."_

**Chapter 21**

_**Stupid Little Girl**_

_**Eddy's Pov.**_

_I always thought I knew myself pretty well. Knew what I was all about. Who I was as a person. Who I wasn't. What I stood for. What I wouldn't stand for. How I would react to any given situation. What I liked. What I disliked. What my limits were. How far I could push myself before I broke._

But I was sadly mistaken when I looked at the monster that I had become, and the man that seemed to be sleeping next to me. I moved my fingers across his pale arm, the memory of his touch and scent was all over me, I couldn't help but sniff at the possible reason that what had happened last night, wasn't meant to happen.

I don't remember much, just the feeling of them piano. Soft and smooth as silk, and hands wrapped around my dick, and loud moans. I glanced over at a sleeping Carlisle and noticed behind him that the clock was ticking slowly, like his unneeded breath.

_6:30 A.M._

I could see the light moving past the curtains that were pulled back, I knew that the sun was going to make it's way and I knew that once he woke up, the events that had occurred last night would be real. Utterly and Painfully real.

Don't let me make a notion of this, not all of it, was painful. In fact the kissing, the fucking and the love I felt around us as we moved towards a higher realm was the most experienced loved that I had ever felt.

_No, that was not the painful part._

The painful part was before that, when he had returned to a lost soul, I could tell that he was blocking his thoughts again, as if after I fight he trusted me less. At first I shied away from this understanding that he and I were both surprised that the fact that we were not the same people we had been before we both got over the fight.

But then I saw _her._ it was a short memory but I could still see her in my head. Brown eyes guttered with some kind of unknown pain, but then a smile ran onto the girls lips as her brown hair bustled, she was carrying a kid.

But that wasn't all I felt coming from Carlisle. Some kind of love response when I saw through her eyes him, he was looking at her with utter love, a emotion that I had given him many a time.

But he never looked at me like that, the way a man would look at his love after a long day, the way a man would look at a women like he needed her more than anything.

_No, his stares showed nothing of that kind of ruptured love._

_That was what I meant about the pain. That is why I wished part of what happened yesterday was not real._

I didn't know what to say to him when he came walking in through that door, and I saw her, but I couldn't control my emotions, I became angry wanting him to love only me, to wipe the memory of the girl clean off his mind.

I felt him stir beside me and my body tensed with assurance as to what to say once his deep loving blue eyes caressed mine.

I felt his fingers run along my arm, sending shivers down my spine, his face so content looking that I didn't see the point of even waking him, knowing that he might leave for the hospital as soon as he had awoke.

The girl flashed through my mind again, and I felt a tip of my heart shatter. I realized that I had to get out of this room, and wake up, perhaps go downstairs and stare out and watch the sunrise.

I lifted myself up from the bed, very carefully, as to not awake him from the dream that he was having. I moved over to him glancing at his cheek wondering if I dare give him a cheek, like my mother used to give to me before she left to make breakfast.

_But I was ultimately proved wrong about the assumptions I had about myself. _

I looked around slowly feeling the heat rush through my body as I imagined without hope his lips onto mine and I could hear the sound of his moans run through my mind and I felt my jeans tighten.

I rushed out of the room. I knew that I needed to take a break, but I could barely walk towards the restroom to sit and relax. I hadn't slept last night, how could I. he was holding me and saying the darnedest things.

I sat down on the toilet looking down at my hands and arms. They were covered in tiny bruises, I wondered how hard we were losing control, I had never seen his eyes that dark blue before, or how they instantly turned from a bluish-brown to a black before, so cruel looking, yet loving in ways I wasn't sure I was ready to understand.

_I love you._

I wanted to tell him last night, before the events, had reciprocated in front of me. But I couldn't voice my words out clearly for I was in pain, lust and anger. It was half the girls fault after all.

I felt my hands shaking as I looked up into the mirror. I stared at myself as the tiny little bruises ran up the side of my jaw, and my shoulders were black against my pale skin. I saw a flash of a crooked sneer run through my vision as I stared between the monster and myself.

_You have to kill her, she can't take away what is rightfully yours._

The monster in me taunted and I shook my head with pity. I couldn't do that to him, he loved everyone that he had to take care of, he was a doctor after all. Besides he would come back home tonight to me, so that we could discuss things.

_He would always come back to me…_

I saw my eyes flash red and the smirk breathed across my lips before disappearing back into the mirror. I heard the door open a few feet away, as I finished wiping of my hands.

_Carlisle was awake._

"Edward?" I heard his gentle voice whisper, as my hand reached for the door knob of the bathroom to open it. I saw his golden eyes looking at mine, and then a look of shock crossed his face as he examined my neck.

"Oh I am so sorry" he whispered slowly, moving closer to me, I felt his hands wrap around my waist, as he looked doctoral at the bruises, I couldn't help but smile since they didn't hurt.

_They were his love bites to me, the love bites that I would always remember._

I suddenly noticed that he was looking at my smile with disappointment, like he was sad that what happened last night, wasn't good.

The girl flashed through my mind again.

_Do you think he'd thought you were her?, I mean look into those eyes, see that pity and sadness, he must have thought of her and then realized it was only you._

_Only you never got that kind of look from him..._

Shut up!. I wanted to tell my mind, but knew it would be pretty useless too. I pushed away what my mind was thinking and did something that seem to shock myself.

I took his face in my hand. I kissed him hard on the lips slowly, wanting to take her out of my mind, I pushed my body out towards him, and heard his gasp as I pulled onto his curly bedhead hair.

"Edward-I" his breath leaned over my own lips as he pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Carlisle I love-" but before I could open my eyes I heard the shrill of the phone and the silence was broken with another pang to my heart.

"Edward, I need to get this" and with that he was rushing into his room leaving me to stand there as the door shut behind him. I felt my lips with my fingertips and shook my head.

_It was too soon…._

I moved towards my room and decided to dress myself, pulling on some new boxer briefs and a tailored style black jeans and smooth silk shirt I moved towards the mirror again to brush my hair. I was shocked.

Staring at me was that same sneer, those same red eyes, those same monster-like thoughts. I was beginning to wonder if mirrors showed the true side of what we considered a natural blood vampire. I shook my head to stare at myself as I tried to comb my unruly hair.

No time.

"Yes, Yes , I understand" Carlisle's voice came down past my door, and I heard a sound of footsteps on the stairs, I moved out of my room, curious now, as I heard the sound of a woman's voice on the other line.

"Please understand Dr. Carlisle you have done everything you can for my husband, I was wondering if you would like to come and see if this new medicine can be preformed on him" her voice sounded erratic as I reached the last step.

Only to see Carlisle was already dressed in his doctor's outfit. I stood and watched him trying to hear his thought's but he was blocking them from me.

That couldn't be the girls mother, could it? I wanted to ask him but, I was curious both sides of me was curious and also growing furiated of the fact that he was blocking his thoughts from the one that he had 'made ' love too.

_If that's what you called it, I would have called it lust._

The monster said laughing slowly in my head, as I heard another voice this time instead of the erratic older women.. I heard another girl, a younger girls voice run through the phone.

She had a voice like my little sister Mattie's it was charming, and I saw his back tense, and I bet he could feel me watching his back. I could hear in his mind, him thinking the names of confederate army men.

"Please sir, " her voice like bells ran through air. I saw his hand clench into a fist and his body shivered slowly, and I wondered what he was feeling, and what more he was thinking.

"Please save him, I need you too. Please come and see him, I will be there with him, I am dying to see you again, sir"

The moment those words had come from her mouth, a flash of her ran through my mind, only this time he slipped and Imagined her in a light blue dress holding the phone twirling her brown hair with the other hand.

I felt my fangs protrude down inside my mouth, but I decided to remain calm, and not noticed anything as I made my way to the living room and stared at the window.

"of course" I heard him barely whisper, and with a few more words the mother had come back on the phone and he told her he was on her way. I heard the phone click and it took all my reserve not to smirk.

Suddenly I felt two strong arms wrapped around my shoulders, and his hot breath against my ear, I felt a shiver run down my back, and my body tensed in his arm, I could see nothing from his mind and it was driving me crazy.

_Proven wrong by the most unlikely of sources._

"I want to talk to you when I return. I promise that I will return by three this afternoon, then we will discuss what happened last night" and I felt his mouth cover my ear, and he kissed it lightly.

Another shiver ran through my mind, but my fangs were still down, and I knew that if I spoke he would see them and start asking questions.

"_three, ill hold you too that"_ I smiled and said in my mind, as I felt his presence move away and heard the sound of the front door close.

I told myself to wait. I did wait. I waited for almost what felt like the rest of my eternity.

Eventually I glanced up, finally opening my eyes as I lay on the couch, and noticed that the sun was still in the sky but the what coursed through me next was not another wave of patience but anger, I saw the clock in front of me and I couldn't help but feel the crooked sneer run over my lips.

_5:20 P.M._

I knew that Carlisle would have called if he was running late, I knew that he would do that for me, at least have the decency to call home, maybe their was traffic and he was stuck in that.

_You must be joking.._ a loud laugh ran through from the monster inside me, and I felt the sneer widened on my own lips.

_He's with that girl, you know that the man was near death, or so you received from the few choice words of the mother, before he left her on the phone… he's lying._

I eventually noticed that my whole body was shaking, another disappointment, but this time I wasn't going to let that girl take him, and before I knew what I was doing, I was outside on the street calling down a ford taxi.

_He was never going to lie to me again._

I managed to wave down a ford taxi, the young man driving it looked to be about twelve, but I knew that he was right about 19, a few years older than me, but he looked so young. I saw a flash of the girl in his green eyes, and couldn't help but slide in the taxi with a stiff growl.

"Where too sir?" I heard the Texas accent rush through the air.

"Chicago hospital, jasper " I said to sudden and watched the boy look at me as though I must be some kind of freak, for knowing his name without such a voice of him saying what his name was.

"yes sir"…

It was all a blur from there. I saw nothing but black and red and brown. I saw nothing but a girl laying on the ground screaming. I felt a wave of lust as the screams got louder in my imagination.

_Stupid girl, should never mess with a monster's property._

I couldn't help but sneer as the car moved towards the hospital.

**A/n**

**Oh no??!!!. were you expecting that. Ha!. Did you like the fact that I named the taxi cab man jasper(secretly drools). Yes I know that this is probably not the real way that Edward met **_**her. **_**but I do so love making Edward's monster come out, I have a hot and passionate love for dark Edward.**

**Shall I do Edward's pov next of Carlisle's?, seriously I am curious to think what will happen once he arrives, hmmm should I kill her, I mean I loved her in the books but now I am utterly jealous of her.**

**Oh did you like the little flashes of the mirror, I got that idea from **_**Unexpected**_**and the old movie "bleed". which I recommend if you like Irish vampire films… and what do you think will be the 'discussion' if Carlisle comes back home safely.**

**I must have you ideas.**

**Adieu.**


	22. Esme

**I know, I know, you hate me. I know I have been quite busy with school and test's and starting earlier than I would have expected. I don't have much to say as why I have not been on. I have been on writer's block for a few weeks, as with my other story as well.**

**World of War craft. Maybe I should sum that up as being crack with No Safe leave as I liked to call it. It has taken most of my free time, but now here I am wondering about finishing this, and hoping that you will forgive me for the full month that I didn't write. (can I apologize enough)?.**

**I have some Amazing news Three Day's Grace, my favorite band, well let's see their new album comes out 9/22/09. I must say that their cd will be the officially soundtrack to this story. I love their new song "break" which will be fitting towards this chapter. Btw however this chapter's song will be. Note I am making up _Her_ family. I don't own any characters except Esme's family : D.**

__

**Our Solemn Hour by Within Temptation.**

**I have decided to Carlisle's Pov. I have been thinking about it since yesterday, but haven't quite come to terms where this may lead. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Btw this is dedicated to James. W. butler.(and to all my fan's, who, still put up with my shitty apologies).**

_**«Je vais bientôt partir. Je vais vous quitter pour toujours, car elle m'a pris mon coeur. Mon amour. Et mon âme."**_

**Chapter 22**

_**Esme**_

_**Carlisle's Pov**_

She looked at me suddenly. Her eyes darkened with some emotion that I wasn't sure what meant. I turned my head to look at her dying father unsure whether to tell her that it would only be a few hours before he would be lain to rest with the others, downstairs, in the morgue.

But I couldn't do that to her.

Esme.

She was sixteen, her youngest brother, Clarence was around four and their mother and father were moving to England this winter, sadly to say that they had never thought that this would happen to them.

I glanced at the clock, it seemed oblivious to me, I looked back at her as my fingers pressed under her father's chin, just listening to his pulse weakening beneath my fingertips. Her smile seemed to soften, and I felt as though my heart was going to flutter with some uncontrollable urge to lean over there and kiss her..

_What??!!_

My brain yelled, bringing me back to reality as I moved my hand away and addressed her mother, who was holding her brother tightly, tears thickening underneath her eyelashes.

"how much longer do we have, doctor?" she whispered slowly, and my glance moved to her son and up to her and I took a long pause.

A few hours tops, I can give him so medicine, but I'm afraid-" but she held up a hand to stop me, I could only look at her angry face, with astonishment, surely her daughter's moods couldn't change that quickly like her mother was doing.

"You promised!" she said, clutching her son a little to tightly, Esme tried to grab her brother from her mother.

"I said I would only do as I could Mrs. Johnson." I said trying so hard, to not look into the dusty brown eyes of Esme's which seemed to be looking at my soul, or so it felt like it.

I glanced over at the clock, wondering what it would be like to stop it. To save her father, to see that real smile glance over her lips. I glanced back at her as she immediately looked at her father and then her mother: who had been in desperate need of something alcoholic.

_She smiled almost a pensive smile._

_Esme…._

An hour later, the clock still ticked away and the sun was slowly going down to haul. I was signing the morgue forms. They had agreed that it was finally well enough for her father to be rested, I don't think I ever met a girl that could bury her emotion's and they still be so well hidden.

She held her brother, and comforted her sobbing mother out towards the lobby of the hospital following the cart that her father was moving on. The brown coldness in her eyes melted (or so it seemed) when my golden eyes connected with hers.

_Another smile lit her lips._

It was then I realized that she was going to have to be the one to take care of the family, knowing, that most family members: especially wife's ,who, had lost their husbands or sons to this disease would not be well for quite sometime.

The moment the door's to the morgue had close. I saw Esme give her little brother to her mother, and they spoke quietly for a moment before her eye's glanced at mine. Her tiny and fragile hand waved slowly.

"Dr. Cullen." her voice was soft as bells, calm and collective, I had to say that I was easily falling in love with it. I shook that thought quickly out of my mind and moved towards her with a curious, or so I guessed, expression on my face.

"Yes?" I smiled tenderly.

" I was wondering…" she paused slowly, and the color violet, bruised her cheeks and I felt the monster in me growl was like a temptress when she blushed.

"Yes" I said coaxingly.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come to my father's funeral. If you could. Since you were there for him till the end, my mother said it was alright.." by the sound of her voice it was almost pleading… pleading… like Edward's!Edward….

My mind seemed to come out of a trance and I tried to smile, realizing, that I had to go, that he might kill me if I was any later.

"Call me," I managed to say and her eyes brightened a lighter brown, as I dashed out towards the employee's part of the parking. I could see the star's out and the small light's lifting up Chicago street's with a more "humanly" glow.I love you Carlisle.

Yes last night's dream was running through my head again. It was a soft voice. Older and much more mature, however, I was sure that it wasn't Edwards….

Tap Tap Tap.

I reached my car and my hands jiggled for the keys. The darkness had hidden the inside and I finally managed, after a mere five minutes, to get the door unlocked. I sat my suitcase in and slide inside, but, before the door shut.

"She's very pretty" a soft, but utterly cruel young voice came drifting for the passenger's seat. I instantly felt a shiver of pain as the light reflected across golden red eyes.

"Edward?" I said a little shocked that he had been sitting here, and how dreadfully close her was to the hospital and how many human's he could have tasted were in there.

"They don't suit my fancy" he nearly growled the last word.

I managed to compose myself as a wad of unfolded question's started to form in my head but the only one that my lips managed to speak was:

"Edward, what are you doing here?".

Silence.

"Why I am here to meet this lovely fairly tale princess of yours" his voice sounded just like Caius and the color of his eyes darkened as I managed to start the car, willing, to play into this.

"Princess?". I nearly swallowed the past few drops of venom that had resurfaced in the corner of my mouth. I was praying to god that he hadn't read the thought's of that innocent girl.

"Esme. Esme Johnson." he smirked slowly, as we passed the old piano shop, I remembered a better day, a betternight for now, I wasn't in the car with him at all, I was inside the car with the monster that was inside of him. The real Edward would never sound so cruel would he?

Flashes of the pained eyes the very first night that I had left to come to the hospital, flashed, in my memory and I almost flinched hoping that this wasn't that case just fruited up more.

"Yes, Look Edward I-" I tried to form the words, but suddenly, his terrible laughter filled the inside of the car and I watched a man sitting next to us in his car seemed to give us a weird look.

"Don't play that friendly bullshit on me Carlisle" he said slowly,and i could see him curling his fingers into a tight fist and his fangs seemed to glare menacingly towards me..

"Edward… you are the only one I-" I heard the laughter get louder, but I heard the pain in it as well, he was trying to hide his pain. I felt my unmoving heart seemed to tinge just a bit and a part of me wonder was Edward really this jealous…

"you have been hiding your thoughts, you speak in whispers, and when you do let something in that little head of yours slip, I see her." he said the pain echoing in his voice, but the venom that was in his tone was sunk deep.

I got on the defensive, over her which completed shocked me and terrified me at the same time.

"that's preposterous Edward, I love you, and only you."

Another scoff came from Edward's tight lips.

He pulled his door open, and was out of the car, before I managed to get my suitcase and was trying to catch up with him, as he all but, ran towards the entrance door to the house.

_Our house._

I heard a scoff and realized that he had heard that from every word or syllable that he come past the thoughts of my mouth.

"Our house doesn't exist anymore Carlisle" he said slowly, as he finally turned to as I shut the front door. His eyes were almost a painful grey, with a hint, of green around the edge of his iris's .

"Edward?" I said slowly, as the bomb of hate filled room. I glanced away slowly, and a flash of her smile came through my head again. I turned just in time to see the last remaining affects of a flint graze of the top of his shoulders.

I moved towards him, trying to grab his cheek.

He moved away from me, and folded his arms, his eyes narrowing and the pain was unmistakable in them.

"I need to be alone…" I watched him race to ward's his room. The anger and pain seemed to conflict in his eyes for a final moment before he left me standing there in the hallway, my eyes, if they could shed tears, they would be filled with them.

I touched the railing of the staircase, and stared up at his room door, begging it to move it with some special power.

begging edward to open that door and then pass by me, and kiss me and love me, and tell me this had all been quite a stupid dream.

I prayed silently.

I couldn't help it. I decided to go sit in the library and read, I knew that I had done it. I knew that thing's were going to change between us, if I had known that soon my life was going to change even more I would have never woken up the next day to find that know next to the chair.

It was his curvy writing:

_" Have fun at the funeral"- E._

**Oh no!. ANOTHER CLIFFY. Please don't kill me, I want to know what you think, were you disappointed in me. I will try to update soon. I know you probably weren't pleased of Edward's take towards the thought of Esme and Carlisle . But don't worry I have saved those thoughts for the next chapter.**

**How about the funeral. Any idea's on what might happen. Did you like the Caius reference. I tried and will be making Edward and Carlisle relationship edgy. But don't worry I wont let you down with the love between them.**

**It's still there it's just dwindling.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	23. Here In Pieces

**I know you must hate me. I must say that I have almost lost my inspiration for writing. I only have one more month of school until I graduate. In the time that I have been away I have gained new things and lost them. I have gained the most amazing person in my life. We have been together for six month now and he's been my muse for a while. I have also learned that I am tired of letting people take over the way that I think. I have discarded things and people from my life that 'bring the drama'. I would like to say however that I am still putting Miny on Hiatus, because, I just don't see where it's going along.**

**However on the good notes I have been reading a fair few of new fan fictions and fiction press that have made the inspiration for another round of storytelling. I want to continue with these delicious boys first. I want to say I am re writing this chapter because I think I sort of rushed it all and that doesn't seem fair to my lovely fans. I also plan on updating more, because, I only have one big assignment in a fair class and the rest shall be easy for me. I will be also planning on another inspiration for an Edward and Jasper story.**

**I hope you will forgive me for the fact that you may have thought that I have abandoned this story, but how could I have? In truth I have missed my boys and the little story of love before Bella. I think I will finish this up and hopefully still get new reader and critics for it. I am still in the process of looking for a beta so if you're interested let me know and we can converse.**

**Lastly this chapter will be from Edward's point of view because I wasn't too pleased with the old one and I really want more of Edward's ideas on Carlisle's crush to get across the page.**

_These are the authors that got me back onto my feet:_

_OCDJen, Starfish422, Lilyofthevalley and last but not least C-Me-Smile._

**Song Choice For this chapter**

**Without You by We Are the Fallen**

_**Chapter 23**_

_Here in Pieces_

_**Edward's Pov:**_

My heart:

Yes, that is what she was taking away from me. I could barely admit to myself that that was what in truth Esme was taking away from me. It had seemed nearly a decade for me when really it had been almost a week since Carlisle and I had had that argument. I must have admitted something then to him because after the fight the next morning he seemed a little, well, I couldn't quite put it into words. I guess if one could find a word for it pessimistic seemed to be appropriate for it.

I sat close to him this early Saturday morning, my fingers, strumming against the keys of the piano. I didn't have any words to say as this was our normal custom or was it turning into one? I wasn't sure. I didn't read his mind and from what he let out I knew that he was trying to hide the fact that what I was thinking must have been killing him in such a way that silence nearly cut through my skin.

I turned my head to look at him in his tailored black suit. He was laced in the chair across from me, his chin resting on his knuckles and his blue eyes stared out at the landscape of the morning sunlight. From my point of view I think it was times like these that he really looked his age, there were no lines on his face or under his eyes but you could tell that he seemed to be aging in a maturity and that was new to me.

His crisp blonde hair had been cut no less than a couple of days after the fight. It now hung past his ears and curled slightly under them, his jaw seemed more defined and the way his hair curled, defined the crisp ice in his eyes. I would have called him beautiful had I had the courage to start a conversation.

Today was the day of the Johnson funeral. I knew that by the way he kept to himself hours before waking me up, I slept more often than not usually to the peaks of the sunset, kind of like a normal vampire. I did this because the silence was key, that and, I didn't know what to say to him anymore.

I hunted alone, keeping my head full of him as I would remember him coming home from the hospital his lips in a tight frown and his eyes would almost glow in wonder. I would drink from the poor animal in hate most of the time, imaging, that it was her. I know it must have been some childish thought of mine that I could have been something compared to her.

_"That's preposterous Edward, I love you, and only you"._

I would cringe at this thought knowing that for some selfish reason that I believed it. I wanted to believe in it. I needed to believe in it.

"Edward." His voice suddenly broke the silence and I turned my head to look into the crisp cold eyes once more.

"I might be a little late tonight, Mrs. Johnson wanted to invite me for dinner." He said slowly, leaning up and getting to his feet as the clock chimed announcing the arrival of the afternoon. I couldn't help myself as my eyes ran down his body, looking at the tightness of the suit as it pressed against his hips and chest. I almost felt the venom rising up, but as I looked into his eyes. I saw her.

Those pretty faces behind his mask: Those eyes that have hunted me past midday of last Friday night. I almost scoffed at the fact that he was still hiding his thoughts from me, and I merely turned back to the piano.

"How late?" I questioned my voice as cold as the dust that clogged onto the table tops. I felt him move towards me, and he was standing behind me almost, however, I never turned my head to look into his eyes.

"I don't know." Was his simple answer. I couldn't help but let the smirk cloud over my lips as I turned to finally look at him.

I gasped.

His face was inches from mine. I could actually see myself in his glassy blue eyes. I must admit that it shocked me a little. I had let my hair grow out more and it became rough and matted and my eyes had dark circles under them showing my over darkness, but what shocked me the most was my eyes.

They were a deep forest green with black swirling around the irises almost as if the monster in me was on the edge just waiting to wipe its up head up for a hello.

"Edward," he breathed slowly. I waited in the moment, wishing, by some small factor that his lips would collapse against mine, which I could have one more taste of the man I loathed and loved at the same time.

_I promise I'll come home to you._

He smiled slowly as he finished his sentence with a thought, and our eyes kept their contest, neither one of us letting go, but, both of us begging almost for the other to make the contact or to break the other in only silence.

"Have fun" was all I muttered and turned back towards the piano, laying my fingers once again against the keys and started the melody that had been haunting me for days. I felt him stand behind me for a while more, before his hands lay on my shoulders and his mouth moved towards my ear and in all honesty I thought I heard a plead in his voice.

"Edward, please" his voice almost ached in my ear.

I felt it then; the shatter cracking the heart that I had that was already left broken. I could hear it cracking deeper and deeper this time almost not stopping.

_It was so wrong to think that you could ever fall in love with me._ I managed out and felt his body tremble and he leaned up slowly, I could almost feel each step as his feet hit the carpet as he carried himself toward the door. I watched him grab his coat, and with an ounce of forgiveness I watched his eyes turn into mine.

"_I am sorry"_

It was another crack in my chest as the door knob turned and was locked shut. I must admit that the only person I had really left was the monster inside of me, who, would still dream of ways to torment me and seduce me into following him and killing everyone there at the funeral.

I guess the goodness in me that Carlisle loved or perhaps had loved just couldn't bear the thought of hurting him even more. I sometimes sat in bed during the nights of silence and imagined leaving a note on the table and taking my stuff and leaving this house.

I didn't have the strength. I didn't have any ounce of dignity or pride left either to even make it past the door.

I stayed at the piano for a few thoughtless moments more and then I retreated up to my bed, letting my fingers undo each of the buttons of my shirt. I mean it was his shirt, but, I let him think that I wore the shirts that he had given me from the store last Wednesday. I let it drop to the floor, watching as my skin reflected in the mirror.

I looked much older that seventeen. I sighed and with half a smile I looked at myself closer in the mirror, when suddenly the image changed. I was met with fiery crimson eyes, and blood on my lips as the vampire dipped his head toward the girl with brown curls, neck, and instantly I started shaking as I turned away from the image.

I wouldn't turn into a monster. I had to be strong for him. I mean I had to prove to him that I wanted him happy with whatever path he had chosen.

_You think you can hide this façade forever?_

The monster in me laughed as I lay in bed, clutching at the pillow. I tried closing my eyes but her eyes met mine every time I tried.

_Oh Carlisle please, tell me another story, please I am dying, oh Carlisle my love._

The monster in me teased. I growled loudly into the silence and my fists pushed into my eyes. I had to admit it that whatever she was doing to me I was getting sick of. I had to get out of this house or at least give him an ultimatum.

_You know his love was fake don't you? How can you still sleep next to the room that he toke you and wrapped your body in lust. How can you stand it Edward?_

The monster detailed the question and another groan escaped my lips.

I guess you could have said that in that moment I had made up my mind and in truth it was probably the reason while in the next few seconds I was downstairs full dressed, and grabbing for the small cap and opening the door.

I had to see him, if not, only for a few seconds to see if he was truly happy and if then I would leave and let him stay in that ecstasy that had to have been brought to him by herself none the less.

I moved down the road listening to the small chirping birds and the pitter-patter of soft bunny feet as they went against the forest floor. I let the sun hit me and it warmed my skin. I usually went hunting during the evening hours as not to bring attention to myself. Luckily the way I was walking there was more shade slowing hiding my own shiny façade that I had of my own.

I walked almost twenty minutes before I smelt them. I could hear them as well. However their scents were redefined into something that I couldn't fathom. I leaned against the tree as I looked down the hill at the humans all clad in their blackness.

I saw him immediately. He was standing next to her, as she held onto the small boy that I could only assume was her brother, and I saw her mother standing on the other side talking to an elderly woman that seemed to have a tight face.

However I couldn't keep my eyes from dripping down onto Esme's face again and I felt the monster in me roar with hate. I could smell her blood from here; almost hear it pumping in her veins. I watched her brown hair bounce a little in the wind as she looked at the coffin that was being lowered.

I could tell I was a few years older than her, in fact, that baby face was pissing me off to the fact that I wanted to see if it could break just like my heart was. I moved closer, flitting behind a tree and could see Carlisle turning to talk to what I could assume was her mother. The others seemed to make amends and were moving towards their cars. I could see Carlisle moving with them deep in a discussion but what happened then surprised me.

I felt those brown eyes looking straight towards me, and a smile wrapped around her lips and her eyes looked at me in curious wonder.

I moved my hat a little to hide the brush of my matted hair as I tried to smile as sweetly as I could. I don't know what made me do it or if she did it but suddenly I was standing next to her, and she gasped.

"Hello" her voice was meek and small tears of the unshed were in her eyes.

"Hello" I whispered slowly, and watched her eyes narrow a little, perhaps she liked the sound of my voice or that she was scared because I could smell her and yes I must admit I wanted to move her towards me and sink my teeth into that delicious looking neck.

"What's your name?" she mused shyly. I think the monster in me chuckled. She was flirting with me? Or was she? I could never tell with girls.

"Ed-" I almost managed to finish my name, when, I heard a distinctive voice cry out for her, she turned her head to see that it was her mother, who, was looking at me in a curious way. I finally managed to glance over from my peripheral view and suddenly saw Carlisle staring at me in shock.

"Well, Ed, looks like I have to go" she said and I turned back to face her, my lips almost turning into a smirk.

"Oh" was all I said as she turned swiftly and I licked my lips internally at the scent that wafted into my nostrils. I could hear the monster laughing inside of me as I felt another pair of eyes staring at me.

_She is very pretty Carlisle._

I mused suddenly and turned on my heel and flitted toward the house almost laughing out loud at the look in his eyes. He looked so scared almost as if I was going to kill her. I wanted to scream at him and yell "as if I would kill her without them watching" however, that, wasn't the case.

I made it to the house as the sun moved a little over the front yard and shined over my skin. I turned back to look at the path I had made in the dampness of the grass. The scent of her was all around me.

_He really would be happy without me._

**I hope that wasn't too bad. I hope you can tell me what you think of this version. I tried to make Edward seem like a nice guy. I mean this woman took his love. Don't you think it would be cute for them to meet face to face if you will? I hope I get some reviews. I will be writing another Edward point of view for the next chapter, which will have a little limey-lemon. **

**Let me know what you think.**

**Adieu.**


	24. Betrayal

**I can't believe that I actually almost decided to give up on this chapter. I have been thinking about a few other things this week and sadly it's getting to close to graduation for me to actually sit down and write. This past week has been hectic: I have been job searching, making up tests that I have missed and I have been dreaming the same dream over and over.**

**I have decided to not go with the story line that I had originally planned when I started this tale. I will not play along the with most of the Edward and Carlisle pairing ships that caress to a point of showing Esme and Bella eventually turning into the loves of these two amazing men. I think that because this is ****that I can tell my story the way I want too. If you don't like that you can just get off my page. **

**However on the good side of things: it's almost Daniels and I 6****th**** / 7****th**** month depending on when I told you it was… you all know who you are that I told. I got my colors for my presentation for sociology. I finally got Bullet for my Valentine's new album and I just want to say that I think things on my social side are going well. One last big thing that I have decided is to take Monster in New York off my page. I won't be continuing it. I however will (after this story) be starting the New story. It has a lot to do with the dream I had. I hope you will be excited it for it. It's and Edward/Jasper story. I have recently gotten into this couple.**

_**This is pretty much a heartbreaking scene(if you need tissues, please, get them) I really hope you like it.**_

**Oh and this was edited by my new and amazing Beta: Linda Cullen.**

_**I don't own Carlisle or Edward, sadly, that award goes to Stephenie Meyer.**_

**Chapter 24**

_**Betrayal **_

_**Edward's Pov:**_

I was running. I wasn't sure where or what time it was. I remember seeing tree's race by me in a blue rushing past me. I was now running towards a lake. I looked up at the clear moon for a second and a pang of anger caught me in the chest and all my mind could focus on was a picture of her with my Carlisle.

_I had never given much thought to finding a love of my own and was shocked into the fact that I had fallen in love with my sire. However one could say that 'Our' love, or, whatever you could have categorized it as, would have broken apart eventually, or, right now at this exact moment, as the case now seemed._

_I looked out at the sun disappearing behind the clouds. I smiled with an evasive look in my eyes and as I heard the door unlock from the front room. I turned away from the window and grabbed the book that I was reading and tentatively placed myself on top of the counter. I heard breathing and could almost feel the tension enter into my lungs._

_I was waiting for the fight. _

_I couldn't resist acknowledging the thought that we were going to fight again. I mean ever since she had come into my life that was we seemed to do. And it always about HER._

_I however was lineate towards fighting, as, I had no desire to upset Carlisle. I didn't take too kindly to the look of sadness that seemed to be etched into his features as he came into the kitchen, taking off his waistcoat and putting it into the closet._

_My eyes stayed on the book as his soft luscious voice drifted into the air_

"_Edward, look at me please" he said with such patience, but my eyes didn't move away from the book. I had almost inclined my head, but, managed to stop myself. I took in a deep breath and suddenly the book fell from my hand… and I was staring into ice blue eyes._

_I gasped._

"_Edward…" he said slowly his face just inches from my own, so close that I could feel shivers run up and down my arms and spine._

"_Carlisle." I whisper softly, and my tongue darted out to moisten my lips. His blue eyes followed my tongue and I swore I could have heard a growl come from his throat, but I regained my mind and tried to pull back away from him._

"_We need to talk" he said his eyes turning into a darker blue and he moved back. I looked at his form and saw that his white collar looked torn and pulled and half of my mind drifted to that brunette, ah yes, that sweet dear young brunette._

"_About?" I said almost uninterestedly and got off the counter and tried to reach for the book, but Carlisle had already placed it on the little island in the middle of the kitchen. He looked unused and almost annoyed._

_I couldn't read his thoughts… just silence._

"_I can't believe that you would follow me to the funeral. I don't think it's fair for you to have scared the others and of course Esme" he said guarding his thoughts still, but, I could have sworn that I heard a hint of anger in his tone._

_I looked at him trying to hide my shock. Please just tell me that he didn't just defend her? My mind asked and I looked away from him and out the window and then for a minute turned back to look at him._

"_I had every right too, besides you discredit me too much. I wouldn't have killed them. I am stronger than that Carlisle." I put an edgy tone on his name and saw that he noticed it for his eyebrows raised slightly but he turned back to the anger and the tension that was now as thick as smoke between us._

"_How was I to know that Edward?" he said slowly and the anger laced every word that came from his lips._

_I felt my body start to shake. I couldn't believe that he would think of me being capable of such things and that he did not trust me! Had I killed a single human that time we went to get my piano? Had I killed a human when we were hunting in the woods so very near to them? Had I betrayed my trust because of a stupid human girl? What had changed between us so suddenly that Carlisle felt he could not trust me …..?_

_Pay the price for your betrayal…_

_I had done nothing to make Carlisle feel that he could not trust me and yet now for some reason that I couldn't even try to understand, there he was saying that all the time we had been together, all the trust we had gained, all the honest tones of endearment….. They all meant nothing to him._

"_I would have expected that by now you would know that you can trust me!" I said almost screaming and turned on my heel and headed in the opposite direction towards the living room, anywhere else except near him ……._

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Crack._

_I don't remember what happened next. The last thing I had heard was the sound of the clock on the wall. I do remember, however, when I feel myself propel onto the floor and I look up into black eyes laced with blue around the irises._

_Black eyes, dark and decadent eyes…_

_I looked up at Carlisle shocked but as I tried to read his mind, I saw the monster's smirk come onto his lips and my eyes narrowed slightly and I felt as though something was stabbing into my heart._

"_Stop running from me Edward, you're going to have to face the fact that what you did was wrong, and the fact that you are nowhere near ready to go into town or near humans by yourself." He said slowly and his fangs had come down and I felt the anger seeping into the room. _

_I looked at him still in shock. Where had this side of Carlisle come from? And why was he so angry that I had come to the funeral today? Didn't he want to have me there, so close to his precious little Esme …..? Didn't he want to see me at all …………_

_It hit me like a wrecking ball, curling my insides and I felt as though death had warmed up a damned soul... my soul._

_Esme…_

_She was the reason why this side of my sire had come out. He was scared that I was going to kill her. He was scared that I would try and drain her dry. Had he been aware of all the thoughts that had raced through my mind these past few weeks? _

"_Carlisle, you're going to have to just believe in me enough that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her." I said with all the strength I could muster, as, Carlisle hovered over me, holding, my wrists down against the floor._

_I heard a growl come from somewhere. I was the only one that heard my heart crack again as I realized that growl had come from his lips. His eyes had turned to black and the blue had disappeared completely._

_What have you done to him Edward?_

_The monster in me laughed slowly, and I couldn't seem to get angry at him. I tried thinking of her and how all this was her fault._

_I couldn't. I didn't have the strength to fight… not when he was going to be like this._

"_You would have lost control Edward. I told you I wanted you to stay away from humans, you are still a newborn. You need to learn patience and discipline. You could have hurt her." He said slowly only this voice didn't seem to be coming from my sweet Carlisle, my good Carlisle…_

_Another crack shattered through my body and I felt as though I was going to die again only this time from emotional pain and not just physical death._

_I saw her in his black eyes. The reflection of her was enough to kill me. I wished then and there that I could have been mortal and that perhaps he would have killed me. I couldn't seem to get away from her._

"_Ding Dong…" a loud sound came from the front door. I watched Carlisle look up and then down at me._

"_Let me get the door." I said slowly, and he seemed slightly shaken. He was looking at me and his eyes were fading from the darkness to those same blue eyes that I had known so well, that I had loved so well …….._

_I moved to the hallway, praying to God that it was some tourist that had lost his way or something or other. I wasn't in the particular mood to deal with any more 'special' visits from any of Carlisle's "friends"._

_Then I heard it. The soft voice of a young woman's coming from the other side of the door. My God - HER voice - sounding like bell chimes._

_Lovely…._

_I felt my body tense as the smell of Esme drifted into my nostrils. I felt the venom slowly rising. I had not gotten the chance to smell her when I had been near her. There had been other smells that had caught my attention, not to mention, the fact that Carlisle was looking at me like I was some kind of a murderer._

_I opened the door and the scent of her blood hit me like a brick wall. I felt my fangs come down in my mouth and I saw her brown eyes widen in surprise. She then tried to look around me, and my eyes narrowed slightly as I regained some control - enough at least so that my fangs had gone back up as I smiled sweetly at her._

"_May I help you?" I asked with a hint of anger, however, she did not seem to notice and she just smiled back at me._

"_Stupid and silly little Esme" I thought as the monster inside me roared for release. We must have been standing there looking at each other for a few minutes before Carlisle appeared behind me and I suddenly felt his arm on my shoulder._

"_Esme, what, are you doing here?" he said almost in shock... However I thought I heard a smile in the way his voice had spoken her name._

_Again once more I felt the pain of something ripping through my chest – through my heart._

_She looked up at him and smiled a breathtaking smile. I felt another blast of her scent waft through my nostrils and I moved from in between them and walked back into the living room._

"_Your friend forgot his hat." I heard her soft innocent voice seep through the wall. This time my head turned toward the direction..._

_I wondered how the hell she knew where we lived. I wondered then if Carlisle had perhaps told her today at the funeral. Then I realized with great sadness that I really was in the dark and wondered if this was how Carlisle wanted me to be._

I don't remember the anger or the tears that never unshed themselves in that split moment in time when, I realized that I had lost everything and he was better off without me. I had run out the back door, not even letting his thoughts find their way into my mind.

I had to get out.

I needed to breathe.

I needed to think about how I was going to leave Carlisle…

**I know you hate me. However this is just getting things going. I really want to know your opinion about her now. I wonder what Carlisle is thinking and yes I added his jealous side for a reason, and y'all thought that it was only Edward that could get jealous.**

**I hope you review and let me know what you think. The next chapter will be setting the story up for someone's death, can anyone guess on who is going to die. I also decided not to write the teaser lemon, because, I am saving that for a few more chapters ahead.**

**Love always.**

**Amber.**


	25. Burn

**I have been a little busy lately, what with ending my High School career and moving into my mother's house, as well as dealing with graduation issues that I have been having. **

**I am proud to say that I have been able to stop my writers block from taking over my life and everything else ! I am now able to concentrate more on this story in the hope that I also will make my fans very happy with me..**

**I would like to say thanks to a few bands y'all need might want to look up - Bless The Fall and of course We Are The Fallen. They were a major help with letting me write this chapter, as, it was very difficult for me to write at the time with everything else that was happening around me.**

**I also want to say that I wasn't quite sure how to write this chapter at first. I wanted to do another from Edward's point of view, but I decided against it. I think it's time we knew what the good doctor is thinking. I hope you know that from this point, things, are going to get a little rough for our boys by the way.**

**Oh and I should probably warn you that this might offend some of "her" fans. However I think it's only fitting to throw in some dark Edward, just every now and then.**

**I own nothing.... I just play with the characters.**

**I would also like to thank my beloved beta Linda for this chapter :).**

**Chapter 25**

_**Burn**_

_**Carlisle's POV **_

I glanced out the window shaking.

I can't remember much of what or how it had actually even happened. I had let her get into my heart so quickly. I had let her ruin something so breath takingly beautiful and I had even helped her to do it.

I can't believe that I could be that stupid.

The rain had started pouring heavily outside my bedroom window. I lay down on the bed, my eyes glancing at the ceiling trying so hard not to think of what had happened just hours ago.

I saw his green eyes penetrating through mine. His soul cascading down in a fit of anger and pain. I had thought I had only wanted the best for him at least that's what I told myself at the time.

In truth, it had all been my fault and no-one else's. In what must have been a moment of insanity, I even contemplated that perhaps Esme could join us. The fact was that I had found myself thinking that I was even falling in love with a human. Looking back now, I remember telling myself, that this was possible, humans and vampires could fall in love .. At that moment, I believed anything was possible.

However once I saw him standing at that hill, right next to her, the monster in me tried to release his chains. I had wanted to leave the party early to race back home.

_"He's a family friend of mine"_

I can remember that smile that glazed over her pure white lips. I wanted to kiss them. My thoughts were racing, telling me that I wanted her for my very own. Her scent was intoxicating, sending the sweetest messages to me through my nostrils to my brain.

But when however she had appeared at my front door less than three hours ago, holding his hat, my only thought was my insane jealousy and fear that HE might kill HER!

I could not lose her – I could not live without her ... my mind was racing as the monster inside me took over all coherent thoughts.

I remember watching the rain and the lightening crashing through the sky. I could see his face through the rain. I can only imagine the heart breaking despair that I had caused him.

I had watched him leaving, with me standing there in the doorway with HER. I could hear the loud sobbing that came from him, just before the monster pushed him to the ground. His mind was silent and it was driving me insane.

I had hidden so many thoughts from him. I could not bear that he thought of her as a devil, a witch or more horrendously, a desirable object for merely food.

I had chosen to put her needs and wants over my own, ,my own creation, my beloved Edward. And now much too late, I knew I had chosen so wrong.

In that split second when the back door had banged shut, I felt a huge gasp come from my lips and Esme was gone. The silence trembled through my mind, and into my dead heart.

_Oh Edward, MY Edward, what have I done?_

I closed my eyes and stood alone in our house, Edward's and mine, while a thousand memories ran through my mind. I had felt him tremble underneathe me. I had watched him this whole week and realised that he had been hiding from me. He had spent hours sitting at the piano, just playing the same tune over and over.

He must have felt that I was lost to him forever.

Suddenly I heard the back door open and it shut almost so quietly - enough that had I had been human, I would never have even heard it.

I waited, frozen. I sat up in my bed, knowing full well that he would have to walk past my open bedroom door to get to his room.

I saw a flash of black race past the door, and his bedroom door slammed shut with such force that the pictures on my wall shook. I slowly managed to get to my feet, and moved toward his bedroom door.

However as I moved towards the door. I could hear another voice, only it was muffled, almost as if a hand was covering the mouth trying to let the words out.

"wha- r... you-- you--- doing...?" the soft sweet voice came drifting through the door.

My eyes widened in shock. I knew that voice. I could smell HER scent. I could sense HER fear, and I could smell _it._

_blood. blood. blood._

_Esme._

Was it her? I mean the scent of her was drifting around me.

I heard a muffled scream, and I tried to reach for the door, but I was motionless, almost frozen. I heard another muffled scream and this time managed to grasp the handle of the door before I heard it:

"Oh you like to play do you?"

Only this was a cold. dangerous voice. It sounded like a madman was on the other side of the door. It was dark... evil... sinister.

_Edward?_

I tried to vocalize, as my hand managed to finally push the door open and stood there in shock and disbelief.

There he lay. He was on the bed with a girl with bright blonde curls caked with dripped blood. The boy was on top of her, his fingers rubbing up on the skin of the girl's bare breast.

"Such a good girl aren't you?" the dark voice said so sweetly. I could see her almost deadly pale face, and then I realized who I was staring at.

Edward.

Only this wasn't Edward, but, a monster. A shell of the Edward that had been my angel.

"Help--me.." The girl muttered helplessly.. as the boy ran his fangs into the girl's neck, the stench of blood over whelming in the room.

I suddenly got control of my senses then and there and the rest became a mixed blur of a thousand images.

The next minute all I was hearing was low growls and screams. I could feel claws running down my back, and the anger within my own monster was releasing it's own fangs to protect myself and attack the other monster who was there in the room with me.

Then the screams suddenly stopped.

I looked directly across the room. Edward was crouched over by the window, his fangs and face drenched in blood. His eyes as dark as night and both his hair and clothes were caked in mud and blood.

I looked down at the body on the floor and saw only a dead motionless form. I could smell the stench of decay already.

I heard what could only be described as insane laughter coming from near the window. I saw Edward smirking at me. His fangs sliding back up into his mouth.

"Look at what you made me do _Carlisle"_ his voice snarled with undying hate. His eyes met the dead girl's body and then looked back up into mine.

_What had I done to him?_

I tried to take a step closer to him, only to hear him hissing loudly and I almost cringed and moved away, but then I slowly turned and moved towards him.

"Don't you dare touch me." he screamed as I looked down at him. My eyes glanced into his crimson ones. They were full of anger and lust but I would also see the amazing pain there.

"Edward" I whispered and tried to grab his face within my hands But he did move away and I tried to hold onto him, his arms, anything to stop him moving away from me.

"Her blood tasted so wonderful Carlisle". He smirked slowly as I held him tightly against the wall and I froze as his eyes melted more into mine.

"I bet her's would taste almost as good." He mused outloud and this time I heard a hiss come from my own lips.

"Edward, come out and talk to me please". I was pleading with MY Edward to come out – to come back to me. I heard the monster inside of this stranger chuckle out loud at hearing my thoughts.

"I am out Carlisle. Do you not love me anymore? How could you hide something amazing as this. Why are you denying what you are?" I watched him sneer, his face, inches from my own.

I looked into his eyes and could see the pain coming through, but, was recoiled back by a hateful stare.

"Edward this isn't you" I pleaded with him. I knew that he would hate himself. He would blame himself. However all of this was my fault, not Edward's – not my angel's. I had to make him see that this was through my doing, my actions alone and never his.

"It is me Carlisle. I liked the taste of her. I liked to watch her beg for me not to kill her." He sneered slowly. His fingers trembling as he held onto my side, struggling, to break away from me.

"Edward this isn't you. I know it's not. The boy I love is not this stranger I see here.. Please come out and talk" I started begging, but the laughter only got louder and louder.

"You love her. You don't love your angel Edward anymore" he sneered slowly and that's when he let me see all the images in his mind of her dying, of him killing her. Suddenly I was overcome with the pain and horror of what I was seeing.

"Edward."I almost choked as I moved away from him and I thought I saw, just for a fleeting second or two, his body flinch in pain but the monster quickly recovered.

"I told you I didn't want you falling in love with me." he said coldly and with that, he was gone. I stood there looking at the girl on the floor. Her pale skin was frozen , and those green eyes stared back lifelessly at me as I tried to close them.

I could smell Edward all around me, all over me, everywhere.

I cleaned up the bloodied mess and buried her the next morning. I scanned the newspapers for stories about the missing girl. There were none. I had gone to work alone and came back to an empty house. I was walking around like I had been frozen in time. My mind could think of nothing else but Edward, my Edward and what he must be going through, feeling now and so alone in his despair.

The next morning when I walked into the living room, I saw a note, written in Edward's unmistakable elegant handwriting laying on top of the piano. I held it to the light and my heart suddenly shattered.

**Oh no!. I know I should not have left it on a cliffy like that. I want to know what you thought of the real monster in Edward. I also wanted to thank Bryan with this chapter. He gave me plenty of the ideas on how to approach this new side of Edward.**

**Do you think Carlisle will make things right again? or will what Edward wrote in the letter make things even worse. Oh and in the next chapter, someone makes a special visit. Any guesses who?**

**adieu.**

**Amber.**


	26. Roses and Violence

**I know most of you are wondering what Edward said to our good ol' doctor. It will be revealed in this chapter. I also have to say that up until now, I have played by our Stephanie's type of vampire rules. But it's now time that we get to my part of the story, to my rules of the vampires. I will make them have fangs. I am sorry if this offends, but it's hot for me. I will also make them sleep, and use coffins, beds, or darkplaces. I do believe in them walking around in the sunshine, but they don't sparkle – they shine. I also will talk about crimson and black eyes when they are in their 'monster mode', If you don't like the sound of this, then perhaps you might want to move on to another story. I would also like to say that "We are now moving in _The Dark Years." _So know that it may get a little darker.**

**I also will be putting a little bit of gore i nto this, but not much. I have made Edward a little darker, because, after all, he is very angry at Esme...and at Carlisle too, for just letting go it seems. **

**Oh, and one last important note, I am beginning to find characters for my next story of Edward and Jasper. However the name is yet to be determined.**

**I hope you enjoy this, I would like to thank **_**LindaCullen**_** for this amazing beta'd version and for dealing with my demented self. I would also like to thank **_**Bryan,**_** for being my monster and helping to bring out our Dark Edward ... and for my new Kitten **_**Sebek**_**, the ferryman of the underworld.**

**Warning: Graphic Langauge and Sexaul Content.**

**Song:**_I want my innocence back _**by **Emilie Autumn.

Chapter 26

_**Roses and**_ _**Violence**_

_**Edward's Pov:**_

**70 years later, July 25th 1988:**

I stood over her. I looked at her fingers pulled down with the ropes. She was looking at me in fear. Her black hair was cascading down, hiding her perfect breasts that were covered with bite marks. My bite marks.

I licked my lips in amusement and I felt my fangs come down. I moved my fingers up her sweat drenched thighs. A waft of arousal greeted my nostrils, and yet there was fear there.

_Oh my my, her scent and blood will be so sweet to taste..._

I leaned down and ran my nose up the curve of her breasts, the blood boiling underneathe her skin gave me shivers. I had to have her. I could taste her. I could loathe her. I could hate her. She was nothing but a human. A married woman.

_tsk tsk.. if only her husband could see her now ... _

She looked up at me and those deep blue eyes glazed over in fear and lust. My crimson eyes reflected into her's. I saw the sneer plastered to my lips.

"How do you feel dear?" I mused with such ignorance and fake love. I moved my nails down her hips and pushed against her. I became even harder at the gasps that this little motion received.

She squealed and tried to struggle away from me. However the ropes that held her arms up stopped her from truly moving away from me.

"Oh, you're being quiet now are you? tsk tsk, I bet I can make you scream my name again." I sneered and moved my lips to hover over her's. My fingers running down her legs to her wetness.

"Don't please, oh please sir." she gasped a moan when my fingers had pushed into her hard.

I could only growl and my fangs slid down more. I was hard and aching to have her. I wanted her blood as well.. I knew I wouldn't last long.

"Such whimpers for someone who's enjoying this Jezebelle"I moaned her name in her ear just before biting it.

Her scream flittered through the candlelight room. However no one would be able to hear her.

_If only you could see what I am enjoying now Carlisle, you could bask in the blood and lust with me._

The monster purred loudly in me and I could feel my throat burning and my mouth moved to her neck, tasting the pulsing vein beneathe her skin. It caused her to move up toward me.

"Bad idea, love." I sneered and moved my hand away and pushed inside of her. I moaned loudly at the feel of her. I could smell her blood even more now. I would only last maybe a few thrusts.

She screamed as I thrusted harder into her. I had perfected the way of this. It had been years since I had sex, however, usually I had just killed them for fun and a pleasurable drink... However, sometimes the monster needed to be released

I moved in and out of her with human like speed. I could hear her breath become ragged and her hips couldn't help but thrust into me. I was licking up her neck, and running my hands over her body.

I could soon tell she was close. I didn't want her to come before I did. In my mind, no one else mattered, except for me after all, I was a selfish creature and wanted to be first in everything.

"Be patient my dear" I snarled into her ear as I thrusted deep into her. I heard her scream but my hand muffled the sound.

_I hated these pathetic whiny humans..._

"Please..."I heard her whine before she gasped and came onto me quickly.

_bye bye beautiful._

I looked at her as I continued to thrust and my lips tore into a smug sneer... I watched her blue eyes suddenly dawn with fear.

"No, no, no, oh please don't... I will do anything you want." she said. I rolled my eyes and slammed into her. I then ran my fangs over her neck.

"Anything I want you say?" I said slowly and she gasped when I inched my fangs into her neck.

"Yes, please sir. I know you are a man of wealth, you are beautiful, dazzingly... I'll do anything" she gasped and then just before I came, I whispered those same words to her, that I repeated to every human that I played with and did this to.

"I want you to bring _him _back to me." I growled and before she had time to answer, my fangs slammed into her neck and her blood rushed down into my burning throat. I moaned loudly and my head was spinning.

She was succulent and glorious. I loved this part of the blood taking. It was ecstacy... downright sensual ecstacy.

She screamed one more time before her breathing slowed down drastically, and her skin grew a little colder. I moved back and let some of the blood drip down my chin as I watched those blue eyes flitter shut.

I moved out of her. I cleaned up my face with a towel. I fixed my ruffled hair. I put on my clothes and turned to look at her. I smirked slowly at my little charade. She after all had been the descendent of that witch.

I closed the door to the room. I was met with loud dance music. steams of smoke and the smell of roses drifted through my nostrils and I moved past the men that were dancing. They stared at me with lust in their eyes.

_"God, what I wouldn't give to have him"_ one of the men said as I passed him. I turned to look at him and his friends, a smile glistening on the corner of my lips.

" Don't pressure it boy.. "I yelled to him and his face blushed and I turned back to move toward the club doorway.

Humans hadn't changed a bit. I realized as I moved over toward my Mercedes. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair had been cut short and matted into spikes all over the place. My neck had tiny scratch marks that would heal. My eyes had melted from their crimson to those metallic green ones..

_Those eyes – the eyes that he had fallen in love with, oh so long ago._

I frowned slowly and moved into my car, driving up the road towards my apartment. I was living in Forks, Washington now. I was almost a hundred years old. I had become more cold and heartless. I had become ignorant and destructive. I had become the true meaning of the word "Vampire" .. but what did I care about any of that – why should I care about anything at all, when for the remainder of my existence I would have to live without the only thing I would ever truly care about – my Carlisle.

I opened the door of my cozy apartment. I looked around at the classic black chairs and couches. I looked at the lace black windows and black and silver lined mirrors. I sighed slowly.

I had left Carlisle nearly 70 years ago, and yet, I could still smell him around me. I tried everything I could to make his memory go away from my mind. But all I could think is how I wished I had never left him and how I wished he had chosen me over that witch.

I moved over towards the window and sat in my Highback black chair. I grabbed a book and began reading. The soft music of _debussy _played on the little radio.

I had left him a note that day, telling him how much I loved him and that I always would, but that I accepted he had chosen HER.

Only thing was, that this was a lie... I would never accept that he had chosen HER...

I had ran to Ohio,as far as I could. I killed a innkeeper and slept in his room. I had drifted into the coldest part of my own mind. The only thing that I had left was the blood.

_And I loved it._

It had become my deviant companion. That and the sex I had found because of it. I was a monster and accepted the fact that I was meant to live alone.

I moved from city to city and place to place gathering blood, lust, roses and anything that fitted my fancy. Money had never been an issue. I would seduce my victims and give them what they desired and then steal from them. Most of the time, I stole their lives.

I was an angry creature. I didn't care about anyone anymore. It had been 20 years since I had last left him when I chanced to hear the news. Anthony Cullen of Cullen Enterprises had died and his wife left starved and murdered.

My own father had died and what had I done later that night had masked his image. I moved to where his new mistress had been and I had killed her.

I was evil and didn't want to change. However once I had received news that that Witch had died too of the flu, years after I had left. I grew heavy with hope that he would try to find me.

But I heard nothing, he did not come to find me.

This only made me colder. I searched all of Esme's family and siblings. I had pursued them all until I had found Jezebelle earlier this evening. She had been married and I had seduced her. She looked exactly like Esme. I couldn't help the fact that the monster agreed with me.

I had changed and Edward Masen had become Edward Cullen...the monster.

I looked up from my book to glance outside the window. the sun was setting and I still had a lot of work to do.. I must have read for four more hours it seemed before I glanced up at the clock and realized I was hungry again.

I smirked slightly as I put the book down. I could see his face in the back of my mind and my heart cracked and hardened all over again. I shivered slightly and grabbed my coat.

I needed a night on the town.

**Was he a little cold? I am sorry but I love the cruel side of a vampire. I hope that you won't mind the length of the chapter and for those of you that are wondering who the 'witch' was... well it was Esme. I killed his father too... oh boy. I have been bad.**

**I think it's time we get the boys to meet up again - don't you? And don't you think it was cute about the guy who hit on Edward ...**

**What do you think about will happen next. I can't wait to read your reviews.**

**love**

**Amber.**


	27. Face Of A Monster

** THIS IS THE REWRITTEN / EDITED VERSION.**

**I know it has been a little while since I updated another chapter – thank you for your patience and I hope you will enjoy reading our latest installment.**

**I have some more news for my amazing fans- I will make this in Edward's point of view because in this chapter, he will once again encounter our amazing doctor. I hope this chapter will be to all your liking. I don't own much, however, I do own this part of the plot!**

**I would also like to say that even though my love life has deteriorated in a few days, that I will not be giving up on this story, and I am proud to say that I have now decided what my Edward and Jasper story will be called. I hope to start writing the draft of it very soon.**

**I would also like to thank those that reviewed the last chapter and I hope to receive more as we go along. I can tell you right now that this will be a little as dark as the last chapter. I will just use a few lemon-drops in the chapter and will also have another character show up to be Edward's "almost next meal." However I am just using his name...**

**Three guess's who?**

**I want to thank my wonderful beta Linda Cullen. I owe her my own delicious lemon's soon to come :) and as well to OCDjen for an amazing Jasper and Edward weekend for me. :)**

**song: Undone by Five Finger Death Punch**

**Chapter 27**

_**Face of a Monster**_

_**Edward's Pov:**_

The lights flickered around the room. The sparks so bright in many men's eyes and the scent of sweat and blood drifted into the cramped and crowded room of the club.

I was pushed in between two beautiful men and got lost in their scents. One of the boys had his mouth playing with my neck, while the other was kissing me hard on the mouth and rubbing himself against my body.

I wouldn't say that I wasn't turned on from this. However to me they were just food. I would be leading them home soon to have a full course meal. I turned my head over my shoulder to look at the drug dazed boy that was looking at me. His blue eyes turned to gaze into mine as I felt his hardness pressed against my ass.

"Goodness boy" I purred softly against them both and the boy in front began moaning breathlessly. I turned to look up at the dark around array of curtains and confetti that was falling from the ceiling while the scent of the boys' blood was slipping into my skin and making the monster within me shake it's chains.

"_Damn it, just eat them here and now my sweet_" the monster purred inside my head. My head was starting to spin even quicker than the music

I groaned as they both started grinding against me even harder, their desire so obvious. They did not seem to care that I was showing no preference for either one of them. "Trash" I thought to myself ... but I couldn't help but let the music pump into me and started letting my fingers ran down the sides of the boy in front of me, closing my mind and my eyes to all other thoughts or sights around me.

When I finally opened my eyes again, I suddenly saw him standing there .I realised that I had not seen anyone that looked that delicious in a long, long time.

He had honey gold blonde hair which twirled in curls down to his ears. His eyes were a deep blue and I almost got lost in them.

I felt the sweat drip from my cheeks onto the dark black tailored shirt that I was wearing. I knew right then and there that he was the one, at least for a short period, for tonight.

I immediately moved forward towards him through the crowd of dancing men and women. He was leaning against the wall holding a martini glass. His eyes moved over the bodies with disgust.

I licked my lips as a waft of blood came up my nostrils. I stopped right in front of him and his blue eyes looked at me. I smirked as I noticed the slight look of disapproval in his eyes. "_Well, we'll soon change your mind beautiful_" I thought to myself. "_Before this night is out, you will be begging me to fuck you_".

"Hello" I whispered and watched his eyes suddenly go to my lips and back up to look at me.

I smirked slowly as the music turned to a steady rocking beat. I watched him shift away from me almost and started to drink from his martini glass again.

"Hello" he mumbled through the glass and I took another step towards him. I heard the martini glass shake. I could sense his fear suddenly.

I realized that my eyes had probably turned crimson. I realized that the only way I was going to get the drink I wanted from him tonight was to play it sweet with him.

He kept looking at me and I tried to smile genuinely. I had to seduce him for a drink. I hated the playing, but I so loved to watch them squirm.

"They're contacts" I tried a little louder noticing that he was still looking into my eyes. I watched his shoulders suddenly relax.

"Oh, I was hoping that your weren't a drug dealer." He metallic voice cut through the air and another waft of blood flitted into my nostrils.

"No, drugs don't do it for me." I laughed almost nonchalantly and moved even closer to him. I watched his body start to shake and his eyes flooded with some emotions that I had seen many times before, reflected in my own eyes.

_Fear, despair. Perhaps even a little love ... and of course, the lust. Always the lust in their eyes._

I smiled softly and ran my fingers down his cheek. I watched his blue eyes widen and his body tense.

"Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?" I asked softly and ran a finger a along his lips.

I watched his eyes glowing softly and he looked as though he was in a trance, nodding slowly and shyly up at me.

It was always the same – mission accomplished. Step one now completed, step two would be even easier.

The monster in me laughed with cruelty as I took hold of the young man's hand and led him out of the busy club, the boys I had been dancing with earlier, already long forgotten. I pushed the door open for him and led him out onto the cold Chicago street.

I turned to him slowly and noticed that he was looking at me curiously. I leaned him against the wall. I smirked slowly and his eyes widened just a little more. I then pulled back and looked at him innocently.

"You looked a little winded" I laughed slowly and watched as his body relaxed.

"I am sorry it's just I came here to this club because my sister Rose thought it would be cool. I recently came out." He said awkwardly.

_"Who is this god that I see before me. Why would he choose to talk to me? He looks so beautiful."_

I couldn't help but smirk as the boy's thoughts drifted into my mind. I wasn't beautiful at all. I was a monster that loved to play. That loved to kill.

However there was another reason why I picked him. The true part of me that was a sucker for those blue eyes. He looked so much like Carlisle that it was hitting me like a physical pain, if I could feel pain anyway. I felt the desire for Carlisle so strongly, I wondered if this is what insanity felt like . All I could see in my mind was Carlisle ... my Carlisle ... and the longing in my dead heart was screaming out his name.

I knew I was losing control of the situation as I suddenly came out of my own thoughts and turned to the boy before me once again.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked, trying to look anywhere but at me. I blinked suddenly realizing that this was just another boy, another fuck, another meal and realised that he really was nothing like my maker, not MY Carlisle.

I moved back and grabbed his hand.

"You did nothing wrong dear. I just had to pause because you look so dazzling" I almost wanted to puke. I didn't think he was really even pretty. He was just food.

I watched the most amazing colors appearing on the boy's cheeks, "_good grief, dinner is blushing_" I thought and it took nearly all my self control not to push the boy down there and then and have my way with him.

"Thank you... um..." he looked at me trying to get me to say my name.

"Masen" I lied slowly using my old American name. I had changed it to Cullen after I had left the city all those years ago because it was the only thing that I would have that was a part of HIM.

"Masen, my name is-" He began suddenly when the door burst open and two drunk boys stumbled towards the car across from us. I watched and waited and then went to sit closer to the boy.

He squeaked slowly when he felt my hands grab his wrist.

"Pretend you're kissing me." I whispered urgently and before he could reply I pressed my lips to his in urgentness.

I felt his breath hitch as I watched the boys with my eyes as they searched around before finally going back into the club with sad looks on their faces.

I heightened the kiss and nibbled on his bottom lip. I felt his fingers run down my back as our tongues met I had to admit that it felt good to kiss again. I had wanted to kill him fast but now I was not so sure.

His lips were soft, ALMOST like Carlisle's . I moaned slowly at the thought and my nails dived into his hip causing him to groan out in pain.

I leaned back trying to pretend I was shocked.

"Oh dear, did I hurt you?" I said with a fake smile crossing my lips as he pulled away holding his side.

"No, it just felt weird ... I just ..." he started talking and that's when his blood came through his white shirt. I looked down and I knew in an instant that my eyes had turned black.

I knew they had when he suddenly stopped talking and looked at me and the fear in his eyes was enough to make me smile.

"Shame I will never get to know your name" I said into his ear as he started to reply:

"Riley-"

I had moaned slowly and pulled him to me and my fangs came down and ripped into his neck.

His scream's lifted into the night sky. The blood poured down into the back of my throat as my body pushed against his. I felt him suddenly moan and I realized that he was losing blood fast.

I bit into him harder as the monster was celebrating inside my head. I heard another scream gasp from his lips. I covered his mouth with my hand muffling the sound.

However it was too late. I heard voices coming from behind the club door. I heard sirens coming toward me. I started growling like an animal interrupted when enjoying it's prey. I pushed harder against him as I continued draining him.

_Why did human's always want to annoy me?_

I pulled back and looked at him. I watched his eyes dim in pain. I let go of him as he slumped over the side of the wall and I turned to make my get away before a velvet voice drifted into the air.

"Edward?" The familiar voice cut through the air. I felt as though my undead heart had started to beat.

"No." I breathed slowly and turned around quickly. I gasped in fear and almost pain.

I looked into those ice eyes that had haunted me into my own madness. Those eyes that I feared and yet had worshipped and wanted to see for so many years.

I couldn't help myself when the monster in me was twisting and turning my insides. I couldn't help the sneer that came to my bloody red lips, my voice so low that only HE could hear.

"Oh, hello Carlisle ... tell me sweetheart, do you still like what you see?" .

**Oh am I bad? Did I kill you with the anticipation? I hope you won't kill me for leaving you with a cliffhanger like that. I bet you all thought that I was going to name the boy Jasper didn't you?**

**I hope that you will review and tell me about Edward's love for blondes. I knew all along how this scene was going to play and I must say I am damn happy with it.**

**I hope I get some reviews.**

**love**

**Amber**


	28. Black Eyes

**Greeting's ladies and gents ! Have you looked up the reviews? Have you noticed the smile that I'm wearing with utter excitement?. I would like to thank those of you who have reviewed , liked, authored and even story alerted. Y 'all keep me sane !**

**I would also like to deliver some news and a few warnings as well. I have to say that this was the hardest chapter to write for me. It's now 70 years later and Edward is not the only one who has changed. I also want to let you know that in a few more chapters there will be a breaking point for Edward's nasty life style. lol.**

**Now the good new's is that I have the name of my new fan-fiction. "DarDum ... drum roll please .."**

**"Sleeping with Ghosts" will be a Jasper/Edward story. It will be placed in the 1700's and be about a 1500's vampire who falls in love with the Prince of England.. I am getting some help from my beloved beta Linda Cullen 11 and Bryan Chronister. Will let you know when first chapter is posted and I hope you will all take a look and give me back some input and reviews. Thanks in advance!**

**Now this song that I used to write this chapter was from the King's of Leon album, which, I will happily say that my Irish boy hooked me on. It's called "Closer". Check it out and let me know what you think...**

**I also have to remind you that I don't own any of the characters. I just make up the story and plot lines. However I will keep our beautiful Edward on the evil side, but just for a little longer... I have turned both myself and my darling editor into madwomen... so enjoy the tiny lemon drop ahead!**

**This chapter is a little long but need's to be to kept the story line going in the right direction, as it helps the story plot along quite well :).**

_Thought's as usual are in italics._

**Chapter dedication's are as follows:**

_Chang, Allyways20,Edward'swoman2010, and David Meenaghan(for everything..) and my AMAZING EDITOR - (have cup of tea on me ;))._

**Chapter 28**

**_Black Eyes_**

**Carlisle's POV**

I stood in the hospital waiting room with the clipboard held in my hand. I moved my finger down the lists of the names of those that were dying of cancers, heart injuries, or whooping cough. Similiar lists were being held in the hands of doctors everywhere, all around the world.

I licked my lips slowly deciding how to contain myself in this new kind of environment. It had been so many years since I had stepped into a hospital setting.

I hadn't said a word to anyone that day HE left. I couldn't hold my tongue long enough for the gasps of pain to come out. Most of my colleagues thought that I was simply feeling the pain and sympathy for the many children dying from the influenza.

And indeed I encouraged the belief in that lie – the lie I told in a voice so completely strange and foreign to me. I moved through those days lost in some sense of either loss or grace... I had seen Esme only once after the day when Edward had ran away. The day he had run away from me...

She and her mother had decided they were going to move to England to get away from all the disease and death scenes. Knowing the fact that it had taken her youngest brother's life only a few weeks after her father's, I just let her go. Now looking back to all those years ago, I realise that in fact I had felt no remorse or sadness that she would no longer be a part of my life.

But at the time, I had felt that a part of me would always be stuck in that girl's eyes. I remember thinking of how her eyes were such a deep brown as I walked back to my car that day after watching her board the plane. I remember thinking that was the last straw for me. I honestly thought I could not take any more, nothing would ever have another effect on me, nothing would ever touch me again now that Edward was gone.

I kept lurking for weeks in that death house. I watched hundreds of children die. However, I didn't seem to care. I had kept my promise I made to myself so long ago, nothing would ever touch me again. I would never let anything or ANYONE get close to me – EVER, EVER AGAIN.

I remember standing for what seem likes years in that old piano room, watching, the dust collect on that beautiful piano top. I couldn't bear to get rid of it. I couldn't part with something that HE and I held so dear.

The year's passed in slow motion. I grew and watched my employees and employers live and work along side of me. I watched children on the street grow from playing hop-scotch to smoking cigarettes on the corner.

However there was one place that I hadn't seen. That I had not touched, could not bear to even look at. It was his room. But neither could I bear to neglect it either, let it become dirty and old and worn Like no-one had ever lived in there, or worse still, that HE had never LIVED in there - except in my most darkest and hidden of thoughts. I could never allow myself to become convinced that my Edward was no more than a beautiful fantasy that I had created out of my own despair or from being so alone for so very long...

Soon after I started at the hospital, I met a young woman named Jessica. She was a young pretty thing with dark black hair and bright green eyes. She cleaned, dusted, got the mail and helped me fix up the old ford, but I was never interested in taking the relationship out of the friendship status. She never spent a night with me, although I knew that was what she was hoping for. She lived up in an apartment just down the street from me and we would often travel into the hospital together.

The wood areas of the town had become much smaller over the years, and quite quickly town houses were appearing everywhere, several having being built close to my own home. I did not want to live in an apartment block, I needed the safety and seclusion of a free standing house. I didn't want nosey neighbors wanting to know about my every move. Hunting was getting more difficult and I was fearful of the thought that someone could see me going off into the woods late at night and starting to wonder what I was doing in there. The thought that someone could follow me and discover the truth filled me with fear and I was beoming almost paranoid about watching if someone was watching me and would discover what I really was a monster, a vampire.

I didn't think much about what I desired when I killed for easing my hunger and most of the time I would come back into the house late at night and look in the kitchen. I never failed to notice the dust collecting on the cook books and shelves.

The dust was part of my life now. I did not want anyone staying with me. I grew colder and more reserved. I withdrew as much as I could from mixing with the humans, except in the hospital situation, where at least I felt I could do something to help others, to atone for what I really was. When I had heard of his father's death, I did speak with Bella, his wife, who I invited over for tea so that I could to tell her that I had heard the news and wanted to check if there was anything I could do for her under the circumstances. But I had no desire of anything else from Bella, not even her friendship.

But I did it because she in turn had known Edward's mother quite well, but that was before she found out what her husband was really like. She had talked about him in a profound way and I could tell that she was desperately lonely.

I remembered consoling her before sending her off to live her life and going back to my own solitary life style. A few years later, I heard that she had passed away and it was soon after that time, that I decided to retire from working as a doctor and went to work with the emergency ambulance crews. That worked well for me, it often provided opportunities for being around late at night and give my more nosey neighbours some explanations for my late comings and goings.

Through the years that followed, everything changed around me, while I seemed to stay exactly the same. The car's changed. The clothes changed. The music had changed and even the people seemed to have changed, and certainly not for the better I sadly noticed.

I could not (would not ...) change though. I chose to remain reserved and I still loved everything old fashioned. I felt comfortable and now somewhat safer amongst my own old possessions, my old home that held so many memories for me to visit upon in my own more morose moments.

I eventually retired from working in the 1950's. My job no longer gave me any sense of satisfaction. And the human's – they were becoming so much more predictable and selfish. I started thinking about moving to somewhere where there were no humans.

However, almost 30 year's later I had become quite bored and sick of the solitary life I had chosen. I came back and involved myself as a graduate from Harvard and lied about my age to work in Chicago Medical.

And so this is where I stand now, with those wretched lists of the dying in my hand.I knew I could only help them for a short time and try and ease their pain instead of watching them die in agony. At least I could do that much, and maybe by doing this, I could actually atone for some of my sins.

I was for some of my colleagues, a very demanding doctor to work with. Everyone around me saw that I could be quite picky and difficult at times. I was still surprised nonethelss when Ashlynn asked me a question I was totally unprepared for.

"Why won't you work on the boys with brunette hair Carlisle?" she asked quite innocently. "I have noticed you never take those cases and always hand them onto someone else." I was quite taken back at how good her observation skills really were.

"My wife and I had a baby boy, and he passed away at the age of six, of heart failure". I tried to make my voice sound sad. "His hair was a beautiful bronzed brunette colour and so now I just don't have the heart to look at boys who have that same colour of hair". I lied to her. It was easy and she believed me, never asking about it again.

She was a pretty young thing. She looked to be in her early twenties. She had a good and curious mind and I had to admit that I did enjoy our talks on more than one occasion. During one of our talks, I remember suggesting to her that she take up medical studies herself, but she felt she did not have the self discipline to do all the necessary studying involved. I let it be, it really was not very important to me anyway whatever she did or didn't do. I was not looking for anything but a work relationship with her and she had come to accept this as well.

I moved toward the edge of the counter by the doorway. She was standing outside smoking a cigarette. I watched as she put the death stick to her lips and shook my head.

I always found myself wondering about a lot of things, but I never dared allowed myself to ponder on one particular subject too often – I kept it filed away and tried to stay away from those memories as much as possible.

_"Oh my dear Edward, where are you now_" I found myself thinking one night in my office. I often found myself thinking of Edward when I was alone with my own thoughts. But it was always so painful to think of him and wonder where he was, who he was with. That thought drove me almost insane, picturing him with someone else, someone else touching him, kissing him. My own monster would always start trying to escape whenever those thoughts invaded my mind. I often found it close to impossible to push the monster back down into the darkness where it belonged, sometimes I was tempted to let him come out and take me over, let the monster go and find Edward and claim him once again as the monster's own. MY own.

Lost in my own inner thoughts, I suddenly heard my beeper ring and the phone on the desk started ringing at the same time. I could hear sirens screaming in the street below.

"Never a dull moment" I whispered slowly to myself as I notice Ashlynn run inside my office, looking like she seen a ghost. I put on my best kept smile.

"What's wrong?." I tried to say, pretending like I cared. My monster always got annoyed when it was disturbed from thinking about Edward.

Her blue eyes melted into mine before she ran around the desk searching through some files.

"There has been a stabbing down on East Seventy-third" she was saying, almost shouting at me. She was trembling and not from excitement. I could tell she was feeling somewhat fearful at hearing that kind of news.

I knew exactly where Seventy-third street was. It was near Maine street, near the now empty piano shop that I had taken HIM to so many years before.

My mind started to drift back to that day when I suddenly noticed that she was looking at me with very curious eyes.

"Carlisle are you alright?" Her voice interrupting my train of thought again and I looked back into her blue eyes.

"Yes, I was thinking where that was. Has another paramedic team been called? My car is parked a block away from here. I don't-" I found my voice making up excuses. I did not want to go down that street. Not THAT street.

She almost shook her head and held up a hand.

"No, I am afraid you are it for tonight – sorry, but I will be on the way there soon as well. I have to call Doctor Batjer about it. She is used to work with stabbing victims " she said fumbling with the corded phone.

"Will the police be on the way soon?." I said almost with excitement. Hoping that somehow I could just go and leave again as quickly as possible.

"I think so, but you need to go or Nelson will be on my ass" she said. I knew that her boss would almost certainly fire her if she did not get a crew down there straight away. I had no choice. I had to go.

I nodded my head and rushed to the dressing room.

I put on my frock black coat and moved towards the parking lot where my black Mercedes was parked.

I started the car and minutes later I was moving down the road passing the street where children were playing a midnight game of basketball.

Then suddenly I heard something. I couldn't quite make it out. It sounded far but the noise was coming nearer and nearer as I got close toward the piano shop.

I tightened the grip on the steering well as I pulled off Maine street towards the broken road of abandon shops. I could hear the loud music of the club and I turned left and saw it.

There were sirens screaming everywhere. I could hear them following me. I could hear every sound and even the sound of my own dead heart almost moving.

I stopped the car in shock. I watched two boys pressed against each other. One of them was collapsing against the wall.

I could hear moans coming from the boy that was presumably kissing him. I could hear the noises sounding familiar and yet strange. "_Why did it sound familiar at all?_" I kept asking myself.

I moved out near a shiny Volvo and parked my car and started looking around for where this supposed 'stabbing' was said to have taken place.

I had just managed to get out of the car before I heard it.

"_Why do human's always want to annoy me?_"

I grabbed at the side of the car, almost smashing the side of the car itself. My eyes widened and I felt as though my very being was ripping in half.

The boy pulling at the blonde had hazelnut bronze hair, the whitest skin that I had ever seen. His jawline was taunt and his body lean.

"_My God, my God - HE looked almost like ...but no, he couldn't be ... he can't b_e"... but he was. I stood there trying to get a better look as the sirens got louder and louder.

I than heard a scream come from the other boy, his blonde falling slowly onto the ground. I looked at the blood coming from the boy's neck.

"_This can't be happening, it can't be happening – but it was ..._"

My mind spun around like I was in a frenzy. I moved closer into the street, silently hoping that it was a stab wound. However as I crept up, I heard the boy with bronze hair chuckle and then without any movement from me towards him, my voice spoke out.

"Edward?".

I watched the boy's body freeze and my heart and body went automatically into a stand still "_This was not Edward, this was not Edward_".

"_This could not be MY Edward, MY beautiful boy_".

However suddenly the boy turned and I felt as though my heart shattered suddenly into tiny pieces and my eyes widened in shock.

There before me stood Edward. I mean he LOOKED like Edward, but he didn't look like MY Edward. He did not look young anymore. He still looked like he was 17 but his eyes were the blackest I had ever seen.

His jawline and chin were caked in dripping blood. His hair had been cut short but was flicking everywhere. He was holding his body in tight control, and I wondered if he was preparing to attack me.

I didn't make a sound. He took a few steps towards me. His black eyes had a ring of green around them and he looked exactly like the night he had left so very long ago. I could see the pain and despair etched into his face. I could also see anger in his eyes.

"So, Carlisle do you still like what you see?" His voice cut through the air like nails on a chalkboard.

His voice was so cold, so dark, so evil and so full of hatred. I heard the siren's get louder as I looked from him to the boy on the ground and then back to him.

I realized that I had done this to him. He hadn't chosen any of this. I had made him into... into...

"A monster?" He smirked slowly licking his lips and wiping his chin with the sleeve of his black shirt.

He looked like he wanted some more blood. He was in a crouched position - as though I had caught him doing something special and personal and that it was not something he wanted to share with me.

To my own horror and shock I found myself strongly attracted to THIS boy, whether he was the same Edward or not ... he was and still was the very reason for my existence – my very soul. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and could feel him touching me, kissing me, loving me.

"That boy is long gone" he sneered cruelly and turned around moving toward the body on the ground once again.

"Oh and look. I managed to kill him. tsk tsk. I was planning to take him home and fuck him. Play with him like I usually do. I play with them all you know". He sneered again and turned back to look at me with those cold black eyes.

This wasn't my Edward. It was something much more. I had done this to him. I had made him almost ... oh God – almost like Caius.

I then heard the police sirens coming this way. I knew the boy was dead and I couldn't do anything for him. I heard the new Edward's laugh drift into the night sky.

It was almost distorted. Unreal. Not gentle but totally heartbreaking.

"They won't find the killer of course, they never do" he smiled softly and then turned towards his car. But he suddenly stopped and glanced at me.

"I am glad you haven't changed though, you are still so beautiful" he said in the softest of voices. But just as suddenly he smiled cruelly again and said "How's Esme?" almost sneering her name and moved toward the Volvo.

I couldn't move my mouth or my feet. I could not move over there and stop him. I couldn't do anything. It was like I was back there in that house seeing that beautiful boy laying on the piano top, inviting me to come over and love him.

He was still beautiful and so lovely.. He was still perfect and I could feel all those feeling's I had had of him rush back.

I knew my monster was close to breaking out and inviting me to join him and my new Edward in the blood fest laying near our feet. The monster was screaming at me _"go, drink your fill and then fuck YOUR Edward for the rest of eternity.._." I held my hands over my ears trying to shut out the monster's voice.

I heard a cough which alerted me that he was still looking at me.

"Oh, how the delicious die young. I hope his parent's understand I was only hungry." He laughed once more and his fangs were still clearly showing.

"You- how-..." - that was all my mouth could get out and his dark laugh drifted into the air once more.

"I'll see you around Doctor" He laughed and opened the car door and slide into it. I watched him in shock as he drove off.

I still stood there in silence as the paramedics rushed around me. I still stood there as the parent's arrived on the scene and the sister held the boy in her arms.

I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. But I knew what I had to do.

Edward was here in Chicago and Edward was killing innocent people. I couldn't let him hurt anyone anymore. I could not let him be the monster that I had created.

I had to find him and I had to stop him.

**Well there you go. How was that? Did you all love the little meeting of our two love birds? I hope you know that the lemon drop was just Carlisle's monster coming back for a short visit.**

**How did you like THIS Edward? I mean wow. He was such a total bitch to Carlisle! I think he may need punishment don't you?**

**Should I re unite them back in the next chapter? I hope you know it will have a lemon in it... but should it be "lemons with a dash of Carlisle in it?"**

**Please let me know your thoughts.**

**Reviews and Pm's are much appreciated!**


	29. Let's get Lost

**Well I have seen Eclipse and right now – I want to say that I am very pleased with Rob Pattinson ! I think he did exceptionally well in the movie and for once, I am glad that he played Edward Cullen ! I want to say that wedding scene brought me to tears. I guess we all have that "marry" moment between us.**

**I also have some good news. The first is that I have made up with my boyfriend. We've started the no Bullshit policy between us... yesterday he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife! He said he would wait for my answer. I must say that I cried a lot last night... The other best news is that I have decided to finally make a sound track for my next story. I listened to the Eclipse album and I fell in love with it. I also want to say that I absolutely loved Jasper, Carlisle, and Jacob in Eclipse !**

**I have been told that FF has started the new ruling for the stories so I am now going to make it OFFICIALLY clear. I don't own the characters. I don't even own poor saddened Carlisle or dark Edward/ These next few chapters will be angst, with some violence and crude language and sexual content.**

**I want to thank a lot of people as I know that this story is coming to a close but however, I do not have names to mention to end this with. I hope you enjoy this part. But I do want to assure my readers who are worried about poor Carlisle and Edward, stay with us, this might just have a happy ending after all ...**

**Dedicated to: Daniel Atwood.**

**Chapter 29**

**_Let's get Lost_**

**_Edward's Pov_**:

I moved down the alley towards Baker Street. I didn't have anything on my mind except him. I noticed that his blue eyes had that dull gold rim around the irises. I noticed that he still looked just like he did all those years ago. My memories had not done his beauty any real justice.

I could see the pain and tenseness in him. I was shocked to see him there. I was even more surprised that he still lived in this dreary old town.

I ran my hand along the brick wall. I felt the pain and love running through my broken heart. I remembered seeing the look on his face when the boy dropped to the ground.

He was in shock and his body had tensed when I answered to my name. I could hear his thoughts clear as daylight. Words that sang to me when he called me HIS beautiful boy, and yet words I knew to be untrue.

_"This could not be MY Edward, MY beautiful boy"_

I closed my eyes as his voice drifted into my head. It had been years since his voice had been anywhere except inside of my mind. It left me with shivers sliding from the back of my neck towards my spine.

I was still that lost boy. I just couldn't show that side of me. I was still in pain. I was lost and confused. I was trembling and broken inside of my shell. But I would never show that to HIM, I would never let him see ... but I was still his – he was still thinking of me. I allowed myself to think these untruths before shaking myself out of the lie when I heard hospital sirens and saw the hospital flashing lights ahead of me.

I opened my dark green eyes and turned my head a little as the smell of a human caught my attention.

I noticed her standing near her car, her brown hair whisking in the wind as she fumbled for her car keys. I cringed and the monster purred.

The wind drifted her scent towards me and into my nostrils. I could hear her chatting on the phone as I moved closer. The sounds of sirens getting further and further away from my thoughts with each step that I took towards her.

She finally noticed me and her blue eyes brightened. She looked as if she had seen something beautiful. "_Perhaps she thinks I am some kind of angel..."_ my monster laughed inside my head.

But there was a small problem – "at least for her" I thought - I was certainly no angel – I felt closer to the devil.

I smirked softly at her and I moved closer as she turned back and clicked her phone shut.

"Can I help you?" her soft voice carried through the air. I tried to give her my best smile as another waft of the scent of her blood whisked through the air.

"Yes, I was looking for my car. I am new here." I whispered, trying to appear sweet and not at all menacing.

She looked at me curiously as she sat her car keys down on top of her old car. I was met with a playful smile and could smell more blood and arousal as she looked away.

_"God he's absolutely gorgeous. Look at those, wait, are those brown eyes?.. They are so dark"_

Her mind jostled and she opened her mouth to speak. Her voice was very soft.

"Oh, umm do you remember where you parked. I know this lot isn't usually full but tonight has been a bit of a wreck" she tried to laugh and I took another step toward her.

I smirked at her as if I knew what she meant and nodded in agreement. I could tell by her uniform that she probably worked as a nurse. I tried to look at her name tag in the night.

"Ashlynn" I said softly and she looked at me a little curious.

"Yes? Oh you read my name tag didn't you. I am sorry. I just got off work" she whispered, fixing her shirt and leaned against the door.

"Yes. I think that name is kind of old fashioned" I said trying to give her he smile I knew she had been hoping for.

"Oh? What's your name by the way? If you like, I can help you find your car." She said trying to look around.

"Edward, Edward Masen."I smiled sweetly as she turned her head back and held out her hand.

"Hello Edward," she grinned as I shook her hand. I could tell that I had her in the trance. I loved this part. I loved the anticipation and I felt her heart start to race.

"I was just wondering. I would like to get to know you more. I mean I can find my car in a little while...can we stay here and talk?" I whispered seductively as I watched her blue eyes glaze over.

"Of course,Edward" She smiled slowly as I leaned forward and pushed the hair off her face.

I watched her cheeks flush and I heard the monster almost growl in the back of my throat. I could see the blood and I was smiling at the thought of it dripping down my chin.

"_This poor sweet little girl has no chance_" my monster purred. _"Her mother should have taught her not to talk to strangers ... they might turn out to be monsters_" - the voice was almost laughing in my head.

"Edward.." Her voice moaned my name as I moved closer to grab her keys from behind her.

She instantly went back to normal as I shook her keys lightly, swinging them around my index finger. I saw the hint of fear suddenly flash in her eyes.

"Hey, ummm I think those are my keys. I don't want to lose them." She said her voice faltering and I smiled at her.

"I know Ashlynn. I'll keep them safe." I chuckled and I saw that smile of hers flash into a look of horror.

I heard her laugh shakingly through the thought that perhaps I was just teasing her and she reached for her keys.

"You have a weird sense of humor Edward" she laughed softly, as her fingers touched mine and I threw the keys behind me.

I watched her mask come back and her eyes widened as I gripped her shirt and pushed her against the side of the car.

"I always have" I whispered suddenly smelling her arousal and her fear.

"Edward what are yo-" – her words not having the chance to finish before I pressed my lips to hers and heard a soft moan come from her. I pulled at her hair and pulled her against me as I deepened the kiss.

I felt her knee's start to tremble as my fingers pulled lightly at her shirt, as I nibbled on her lower lip.

It wasn't till she moved back that she realized exactly what my intentions really were.

I heard her scream loudly and my mouth pushed against hers muffling the sound. I could feel her heart beating faster and faster.

_Silly girl..._

"Now, Now" I petted her softly through her jeans as my mouth went down her neck. I heard her moans against me as she struggled to push me away from her.

"I don't think we need any attention over here. I mean by the time the police come. I am afraid to say... you won't be a-" I suddenly stopped - only this time, it was my own voice not getting a chance to finish the words it wanted to say.

Suddenly a loud crash sent me flying through the air and landing on the pavement. I looked up quickly and saw Carlisle standing near the girl, his eyes like ice and full of anger.

"Edward" he said slowly as he tried to pull a stunned Ashlynn away from me.

I growled loudly and ran at him. I knocked him under me and my fangs were bared. I could smell the blood from behind me and heard Ashlynn scream.

"She's mine" I growled and looked down at him. His blue eyes looked up into my mine in disbelief.

It was not long before he had me pinned against the car. I smashed my arm and slid down onto the ground. I could hear his footsteps getting close to me.

"Ashlynn, I am so sorry. Go home, I'll take care of him." he whispered to the crying girl on the ground.

I slowly moved away from the car, but my arm was hurting. "_I must have done some damage_" I thought to myself as I looked up at Carlisle and the girl as he helped her to her feet. But I still managed to notice that Carlisle's eyes and thoughts were only on me.

His eyes were so dark and angry looking, but they were still the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

The girl took one more look at me on the ground before jumping into her car and speeding off into the night.

"_Leaving sire and fledgling alone. Leaving MY mate and HIS boy alone_" I childishly thought ...

I cringed as I started to get back onto my feet. I looked at the ground for a moment, before I felt hands on my face.

They were cold and soft. They were his and I felt my heart almost crack open.

"Edward" he said softly... his hand moving up and down the side of my face.

His eyes and mine suddenly connected. I could see that my eyes were crimson through the reflection. I couldalso see the pain and anger that were going through them.

He hadn't touched me in over 70 years... and yet it almost felt like yesterday.

"I am not mad. I am not hurt. THIS is not YOU" he whispered slowly sitting down on one knee.

I couldn't hear anything. I was in shock and pain. I could only show rage then and I pushed him hard away from me.

"This IS me. I am the monster that you fell in love with... I am the monster that left you. I don't care about how you feel. You left me cold and hard." I growled loudly at him as I moved to my feet and held my arm.

He looked at me shocked and broken as he got to his feet once more.

"Edward...dont-" but then all the anger I had felt for so long cut off his words. I heard his sweet voice coming back again. I was dying inside as I looked into those eyes, and my monster quickly reminded me that "_Carlisle doesn't love you, he never did, he only loved Esm_e". I felt my rage returning.

"Don't what? It's true! you let me run away from you, run away from our home. You didn't even try to stop me. You didn't... you didn't... you loved her" I screamed, "you picked her over me". I tried to finish my words, but I couldn't continue. I couldn't let myself get lost again.

I couldn't let myself remember the night I ran. I couldn't let myself remember the pain.

I sneered up at him and folded my arms behind my back, trying not to cringe or admit my arm had been hurt just moments before.

"I don't owe you anything. This is how I am NOW" I laughed and saw a flicker of pain come into his eyes.

"This is my territory. I owned it before you even came into my life. I wanted her... you stopped me from having my dinner" I screamed at him.

"Edward...please let me talk to you" his voice was pleasing with me.

I stood there silent. I listened to the wind and the sounds of sirens coming toward the hospital.

I managed to look back into his eyes once again.

"I'll call you." I whispered and turned on my heel running toward my car. I heard the sobs coming from my chest

I had hurt him and I wasn't sorry that I had.

**Don't I just leave it on the most amazing cliffhangers ever? What do you think about it. I mean this is the first of dark Edward's breakdowns.**

**Are you sad that I didn't kill her. I bet you weren't expecting Ashlynn to stay alive. Trust me. I am leaving her in here for a while. I have come to quite like her ...**

**Let me know what you think. Reviews are my little lemon drops... which is coming up in the next chapter btw... he he.**

**Love.**

**Amber.**


	30. The Infinite Kiss

**Hello ladies and gents. I know you all have been waiting a long time for this. I have to say that there are two actual chapter's left and then a tasty epilogue which I will have some help with by a few friends.**

**I think you all might wanna grab your tissues, because this chapter is going to be HOT. Yes children, we are finally at a lovely lemon between our two awesome boys.**

**I hope you know that things are going to get a little sweet and sour between our boys. I am very thankful for all the reviews that I have received and that I hope that we hit 100 by the end of our story.**

**I also want to say that I finally got one of the albums that I have been waiting for - In This Moment. Without this, I probably would have still have had writers' block for quite some time. I must also admit that I am going to miss the hell out of my boys!**

**I have some good news though. Linda has agreed to help me write my Edward and Jasper story. I hope you are excited for it as much as we have been.**

**Btw this part 1 of the lemon is from Edward's perspective. Please enjoy and REVIEW!**

**Chapter: Dedications:Linda and David Meenaghan**

**Chapter 30**

_**The Infinite Kiss**_

_**Edward's POV:**_

I stood there in the shadows as he turned over on his side, facing me as I sat on the window sill watching him.

His blonde hair was pressed back away from his face and lips looked so tender and kissable. I was falling in love with him all over again.

I moved closer looking at the side of his neck, the venom running into the pool of my mouth and my fingers cracked as I tried to restrain myself.

I had found out where he lived by following his car on foot. I had no trouble keeping up with him even though it was obvious that Carlisle still liked to drive fast cars and push them to well beyond city driving limits. He was staying in an old manor house much like the one that we had lived in all those years ago.

_But nothing ever stays the same..._

He moved slightly, a light groan escaping from his lips as the light of the moon floated across his bare white chest and I could feel myself losing it. All I could think of was dragging my tongue all over that chest, all over his body...

He looked so young and desirable, just like he had on the day I had left him. His hair in messy blonde curls as his hand slowly brushed through it.

I felt my fangs come down and more venom pool into my mouth. I couldn't stop staring at him even though my mind was telling me to run.

_He had betrayed me after all._

How in the world did I end up becoming a vampire. A vampire obsessed. No – I wasn't just obsessed, I was a vampire now obsessed with stalking Carlisle Cullen.

I pursed my lips as the smell of blood ran thick in the room. The heat was powerful as the summer wind drifted onto my back through the open window.

"Edward..." his voice suddenly melting into the cloud of thick smog.

I turned my head quickly and stood there frozen. He was asleep. Well, his eyes were closed and my lips started to tremble as I realised that he was dreaming about ME.

I moved forward a little more, almost as if I was in a trance and he was the beacon that was leading me into the light, towards home.

_However not all things are as peaceful as they would seem._

The moment that I pressed my foot onto the carpet near the window, it made the floor boards squeak and I looked back to his face.

Golden blue eyes were looking right at me.

It was all a blur and I could feel myself being lifted off of the floor and then suddenly I was looking up at him, with the soft bed sheets pressing against my back.

My eyes widened a little as I felt him press against me. His eyes looking into mine trying to figure if this was really happening.

For a moment I thought I was dreaming and that I would open my eyes and I would still be watching him sleep.

I felt his warm hand run up the corner of my cheek and shivers went down like waves through my body.

"Edward?" he said, his voice coming out in a soft gasp, his warm breath hitting me across the face like he had kissed me, but had kissed me hard like he use to.

I shivered and I couldn't speak. I just stared into his eyes too afraid to move.

I hadn't felt desire like this... since... since he had picked me up and put me onto that piano and he had made love to me for the very first time.

I heard him groan suddenly as his fingers traced down my lips and over my nose.

"You're just a dream aren't you" he said in disbelief. I looked at him and realized that perhaps Carlisle had started dreaming things like this as well.

However, I thought, this wasn't a good idea to get into my head. But then I felt myself grow hard against his thigh and I heard another gasp come from his lips.

"You're not... Edward" he said almost waking up and before I could move away. The light was on illuminating the large bed even more and the room around us.

"What are you doing in my room?" he said slowly and I thought I heard an inkling of anger.

The monster in me suddenly played on that thought and I smirked up at him.

"I was simply going by your house and decided to kill you in your sleep" I whispered, only it came out dripping with sarcasm.

I watched his eyes narrow and for a second I thought I saw his lips curl into a tiny smirk.

"Oh really?" he whispered suddenly and I felt myself grow harder as his voice had a hint of velvet in it.

"I... what..." I whispered trying to stop myself from shivering and then he suddenly smiled.

"Edward did you really sneak in my room to kill me?" he said his voice now crisp with amusement. I tried to read his mind but there was only silence.

_There was always silence between us... even now_.

He looked at me still, his eyes making him look half awake and his smile was still covered with an amused stare.

"Edward why are you here?" he said suddenly in the silence and he adjusted his hips to mine.

I almost moaned at that. I felt the friction, which only seemed to make me harder. The closeness was driving me insane.

"I... I... wanted to see you before I left" I said trying to sound sweet but sarcastic.

I heard the monster in me trying to break free of it's chains. It was chanting things in my head now as I stared up into his eyes.

_"He betrayed you.. what are you doing here with him? He is the one who turned you into a monster, he is the one you ran away from and now you are falling in love with him all over again?"_

Those words were running over and over in my mind and I closed my eyes to try and block out the sound.

I suddenly felt his hands move towards the buttons of my black leather jacket. My eyes opened wide, shocking us both.

My eyes were a light gold. I was looking at my reflected self in mere surprise. I thought I heard a soft chuckle.

"I have missed this" he said softly almost as If he didn't want me to hear.

I did. I heard every word... and for a slight second I thought my undead heart skipped a beat.

"Carlisle.. I... " I tried to say but I felt a cold finger press against my lips and his eyes twinkled with..with something I couldn't define or would even try to anymore.

_Love._

"Don't say a word. Just feel me touching you" he said pulling off my jacket and shirt.

I watched his eyes widen as his fingers ran down my soft skin. I couldn't help but moan, feeling his touch after so long was... I couldn't believe the breathtaking pleasure I was feeling.

I heard a soft hiss as I my thoughts were racing. I looked up into his eyes and his smile had become even more beautiful. How I wanted to kiss his mouth.

I felt him then. I felt him hard against my thigh but this time, it was my turn to look at him with a surprised look.

"Carl-" I tried and then suddenly his lips pressed against mine.

_Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. However this one to me simply left them all behind.._

I felt fireworks going off in my head. If I had actually needed breath, I knew I would be gasping almost as I felt Carlisle's tongue brush against mine, our tongues greedy for each other. I felt my fingers running down his back.

I moaned slowly as he started to bite on my lower lip. I started to wonder was this actually a dream or could this really be happening.

I started to kiss him deeper when he pulled back to look into my eyes. His eyes were a dark blue and they were not only filled with lust, there was something else I could see.

"I love you Edward... I always have. I am so sorry for everything." He was truly saying the words I had longed to hear for so long, for so very long.

I moaned and pulled his lips back to mine as our tongues found each other again. I rocked my hips into his, totally losing myself in his touch, his body, his desire, his love.

I felt his hands rip at my shirt and jeans. He did it so quickly and I was suddenly naked before him.

I felt him lean up from the next heated kiss as his eyes ran down my body. I felt like a child again. If I could blush I would have been red all over.

He noticed my body movements and I thought I heard a chuckle from him.

"Edward Cullen shy?" he laughed as his fingers ran slowly up my thigh.

I groaned slowly as I pulsed next to his arm. I saw his eyes look at me with lust... I was going to lose control in his touch. No, I had already lost it.

Our eyes connected in that moment. Black and Crimson eyes staring into each other's, into the other's soul and undead hearts. Into our very beings.

I suddenly realized that through all the years and the things that I had never dreamed of saying outloud, were about to come out.

"I love you."

I watched his black eyes shine and his lips leaned down on mine and took my breath away.

**So Edward finally said or told Carlisle that he loved him. Did you ever realise that I had never made him say it? What do you think about it Edward's final admission of love?**

**I will continue part 2 in the next chapter. I hope you will enjoy it. Oh and don't be surprised if the next chapter gets a little darker... you can all blame my editor for that.**

**I need reviews. I need to know your thoughts. I hope I didn't write a too cheesy lemon. I mean do you honestly think I would forget about the monsters?**

**Love.**

**Amber.**


	31. Lumière et les Ténèbres

**Well here we are ladies and gents the final moment.. the part 2 of the lemon. I warn you now that this is not some pretty and romantic one. While it does have some romantic qualities about it ... depending on your personal point of view of course ... this will be dark and their monsters definitely come out to play – especially Carlisle's !**

**Now with only the epilogue left to complete our story, I want to say that I have had an amazing year and 6 months writing this and meeting new people along the way. I have changed since that lonely sophmore. I finally enrolled into College and plan to start going in the spring.**

**I plan on getting married next November to the man of my dreams... my Edward... if you will. I am also glad to say that the epilogue for this and the prologue for "Sleeping with Ghost's" have already been written - so please be on the look out for those as well.**

**I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I and Linda have had making it. I owe her pretty much everything. But more importantly, I hope all the fans know how much I love them and thank them for staying with me and Edward and Carlisle through our somewhat turbulent Darker Years ...**

**I also hope that you will all stay with us while Edward goes off to spend some time Sleeping with Ghosts!**

**I hope you listen to the song "Star-Crossed Wasteland" by In This Moment. It's the only way to understand the thoughts.**

**Btw this is Carlisle's Pov.. so enjoy!**

**Warning: I don't own any of the characters... all that jazz goes to Stephenie Meyer of course ... but I would like to think we have improved on her original version ...!**

**Dedication: EdwardLuver93 (your reviews make my heart melt).**

**Chapter 31**

_**Lumière et les Ténèbres**_

**Carlisle's Pov**

I ran my finger nails slowly down the sides of his body. His breathless moans carried out into the darkness as I spread his legs open and placed myself between them.

His haunting voice was whispering in my mind as I undid my pants and let my hardness free. He was looking at me with hooded black eyes and licked his lips.

I couldn't wait to be inside of him. It had been so long since I had felt the tightness of him wrapped around me.

"_You've wanted me forever haven't you_?" he asked, his voice penetrating my mind and I started to groan with my own excitement. I reached out and took his hand and placed his fingers against my lips, my monster now well and truly aroused.

"Suck on them you naughty boy – I should really punish you for running away from me." I whispered into his ear.

He opened his mouth with a whimper and pushed up into me, as his tongue swirled around my fingertips before pulling them deep into his mouth, licking and biting at them.

I got harder as he did this and started grinding my erection into his hip bone. I looked at him, his eyes shut, and his hair damp and his bangs lay against his forehead. "_God he is so beautifu_l" I hear a voice in my head saying. _"Fuck him, fuck him until he is screaming out your name"_ the monster's voice is now yelling within me.

"That's it" I smirked softly at him. "Just like the way you use to love sucking on my fingers before I fucked you" -

I saw his eyes open to reveal crimson with a hint of black wrapped around the irises. I could see his fangs come down as I pulled my fingers out of his mouth.

"Good boy" I whimpered and I felt the monster in me banging around his cage trying to get at Edward.

I wanted to be gentle, to let him know that I knew I had been wrong all those years ago. I wanted him to see and believe just how much I loved him and him alone.

Only HIM.

I leaned up and watched his chest rising up and down. I flicked the lights off so that the moonlight could radiate off his beautiful body ... that delicious body I was aching to possess again.

My eyes trailed down from his sculpted chest and down the brown line and over the brown curls and to his manhood. I could feel and hear my monster starting to purr.

I heard him whimper at my thoughts and our eyes connected for a moment and I smiled at him sweetly.

He had definitely heard my thoughts very well indeed – and very loud and clear. I was now Edward's master again and he knew it.

I watched him spread his legs for me. I moaned slowly as I could feel my hardness pulsing against his thigh.

I knew I wouldn't last long once I was inside of him. But I wanted to build up his orgasm slowly, I wanted to make him beg for me.

I pushed my middle finger into him and gave him little time to adjust to it before I pushed in harder and deeper. I watched as his face contorted into pure bliss.

"Does my Edward like that?" the monster's voice purred and he only whimpered and tried to rock against my thrusting.

"Yes." His loud hiss lightened the thick air of smoke and lust.

"Yes what?" I smirked slowly and watched his crimson eyes look at me curiously.

"Master?". He whimpered again and I grew even harder. I licked my lips and slid another finger into him.

"Oh God.. you are so tight." I smirked and began to slide my two fingers in and out of him..

"Master" he said softly, but this time it was Edward's own monster who was now talking. He smirked slowly and rocked a little more against my fingers. I stared at him my eyes darkening.

"Goodness, you are a dirty boy aren't you?" I purred slowly and pushed a third finger into him even harder than before. I watched his fingers clinging to the bed sheets.

"Yes.. Yes... Please just fuck me.." He whimpered sweat dripping down his stomach, and his hardness pressing against my arm.

I smirked happily at his pleading. I loved it when he begged. I had been waiting to hear that voice and those words for almost 60 years. My monster was purring even more loudly.

He was once again mine and only mine.

I moved my fingers out of him, and gripped his hips as I rubbed my hardness against his ass. I felt his fingers grip onto my wrist almost in desperation for me to fuck him.

"_Look at him, the boy is practically on his hands and knees begging for you just like always_" my monster laughed.

My monster purred with pleasure as I pushed myself inside him in one sudden movement.

"Carlisle" he moaned loudly as our hips met. I was now completely inside of him. Inside MY Edward.

He was even tighter than I had remembered from that time on the piano. He was hard for me against my stomach, and I looked up into his dark black eyes and smirked.

"Ready?" I asked and he brushed his hair out of his eyes, before pulling me down and pushed himself harder onto me.

"Nugghhh" I moaned slowly and saw his smirk, his fangs coming down and his eyes glowing with lust.

"Yes Master."he purred and I started going in and out of him at a slower pace.

He met my thrusts with his own and suddenly I was moving faster and deeper into him. I felt his nails claw down my back.

The monster in me growled and I growled out loud, which sent shivers up his arms.

I heard my name being moaned over and over against me as I leaned down to kiss his beautiful mouth.

I licked at his collar bone, glancing at the mark I had left there nearly seventy years ago. I bit down hard again to reclaim what was mine and I heard his gasp and his nails pushed deeper into my back.

"Edward" I moaned as I slammed against him, waiting, for him to thrust up and push back against me.

I bucked into him harder this time and licked his earlobe and neck, biting down harder. He screamed my name over and over and his thrusting became wilder.

"There...Please." he moaned and I knew I had to keep hitting that special spot inside of him to take him over the edge. I also knew that I wasn't going to last much longer as well.

I leaned back up and thrusted into him, hearing, his voice come out in long gasps.

"Touch yourself." I commanded in a dark voice and saw his eyes go wide and he looked at me moaning my name.

"What?" he gasped as I hit against the spot again.

"I said. 'touch yourself'" I growled and I felt my fangs come down as he moved his hand down to wrap around his hardness.

"Good boy." I smirked slowly and began to pound into him faster. I was matching his strokes to my own thrusting. I heard his screams get louder and louder.

I was already on the edge when his other hand grasped my shoulder..

"CARLISLE" He screamed loudly and I felt him come onto my chest and stomach. He rocked against me as his orgasm continued and slowly settled.

I moaned loudly watching as his eyes turned back to a light emerald green. I pushed harder into him getting closer and closer before it was now my turn to be screaming his name.

"Edward." I moaned and rocked my orgasm inside of him.. I felt him shaking against me as my nails went into his sides.

I collapsed onto him.

We stayed there just holding each other for hours or was it even days I'm not really sure..

"I love you." he whispered. I felt his breath tingle my cheek and sending shivers down my back.

"I'm sorry that I left you. I just couldn't bare the fact that you chose ..." he finally began but I put a finger to his lips causing him to almost frown.

"Edward this was my mistake, my stupidity that caused all this in the first place. I thought that I could make you both happy. I did love Esme in some way..." He started to shake and tried to get away from me.

I grabbed his arm and pinned him underneath me.

"But." I cut in looking into his deep green eyes once more. "It was always you that I loved most of all, that I wanted most of all. I will never forgive myself for not running after you and bringing you back home". It was ridiculous to think that I could amuse myself with Esme for a short time and not think of how it could hurt you. Will you forgive me? Will you now stay with me?"

I thought I saw the sides of his lips curl into a smile. I wasn't sure because he turned his head to look out of the window and his eyes closed.

I gently turned him back to me so that I could see his face, see his eyes.

"Look at me please." I pleaded with him. I watched his eyes open and he looked at me with an amused but curious look.

"I know you don't believe that I love you more than I ever did her. I guess that time will be the only way to prove that to you. Will you give me that time?"

I pushed him down and we lay there for what seemed like eternity. I watched his eyes turn into a light gold and realized.. no, I really had an Epiphany.

"Edward, would you do me the honor" I said slowly and watched his eyes widen with confusion and what I was hoping was love

"What are you saying?" he said, his voice had an amused touch to it. This time I was happy about his mind reading.

I took his hand in mine and held it to my lips and took a deep breath.

"Marry me".

**There you have it folks. The lemon is complete and looks like I might have left everyone on another cliffy. So what do you think? What do you think Edward's answer is going to be? I know it was a little sexier than most – but hey they had been apart a long time!**

**However the end brought a tear to my eyes... Now the only thing left for this story is an Epilogue, and be sure to tell me what you think – PLEASE!**

**Oh the title is French for "Light and Darkness" I thought it was only fitting. :)**

**And btw... I have a few familiar faces showing up in the epilogue, who could they be? heh heh**

**love**

**Amber.**


	32. Epilogue:108 candles

**This is it. The final Mini- Ending-Chapter of "The Dark Years". I want to thank OCDJen, and Linda, Bryan, Michelle,Robert, Team Edward, Sagepunk and many others for making my dreams out last my old 'writer blocks'.**

**I hope that you have enjoyed the love between these fantastic men as I have. I am very sad to leave them and wish I could join them in their new found world of bliss.**

**However be sure to check out my new Edward and Jasper tale which will be up in a few weeks as David is coming to visit me and I will also be celebrating my birthday.**

**I hope everyone has a lovely break. I know for me this will give me time to crack down on making Jasper the yummy man that he is in the stories and movies.**

**I hope you like this chapter and I would love to hear your comments on it.**

**I kind of messed with the book a little Ashlynn is Peter's wife in this not Charlotte.. lol. sorry but it had to be done, hell, I don't even own Peter.. lol. I also want to say that I made up a date April 13th 1901. I think it fits him don't you? btw this is my story.. I don't own the characters, but yeah you already know all the blah blah drills...**

**Now for the surprise... and the special ending.**

**Epilogue**

_**108 Candles**_

**Carlisle's POV**:

I sat there in the Mercedes watching Ashlynn walking towards my car door. It had been years since that night Edward had scared her away and it had been some years before she had met up with a vampire named Peter.

They had fallen in love and currently lived in California. I thought it was preposterous because of the sunlight but Ashlynn had truly fallen in love with Peter and was convinced that they were destined to live there. That was 35 years ago though.

The years had floated by for Edward and I. I must admit that after that night 38 years ago that he was still nervous for a long time about commiting himself, still afraid, that I would find someone else.

I guess the years had convinced him otherwise. A fact that I was extremlely happy about. We had moved up to Forks,Washington. It was a precocious little town but Edward loved the wild life and the amount of mountain lion caught his hunger even more.

I watched Peter follow behind her. His dark hair waving in the wind as he held onto baby Rose. They had adopted her less than a week ago. She looked a lot like Ashlynn though with a princess like attitude. She was only four.

I saw Peter's dark red eyes look into Ashlynn's as they kissed and he opened my car door.

"Uncle Carly" Rose squeaked from the back. I smiled at her. I adored children, even, though I couldn't have any of my own.

"Hello Rosy." I smiled softly and turned back as Peter got in the front next to me and Ashlynn went into the back seat.

"Sorry, it took so long, Rose couldn't find her teddy bear or anything to wear." Ashlynn said as we pulled out of the driveway.

"No, honey it was you that couldn't find anything to wear" Peter said with a slight chuckle which earned a hiss from Ashlynn in the back.

I chuckled. I pulled on my shades as we headed out onto the highway.

I had convinced them along with some of our neighbors to throw a 17th surprise birthday party for my 'son' Edward. Only we knew that he was far from my son, and very far from the age of 17.

I chuckled to myself as Rose talked to her father about this new toy she wanted. We turned onto the highway and leaned my head back a little.

"So does Edward know?" Peter said slowly looking at me with a grin.

"No. I've kept my thoughts very well controlled." I said laughing a little. Edward had been pleading with me for weeks to tell me, "_which had also included me coming home from work and finding him laying naked on the piano_" I silently thought to myself.

But even that had not worked and he eventually had given up. I told him that I was going to a doctor's meeting in Portland and that he could stay with one of his school friends..Emmett.

He was a bit suspicious for a while but before I left we had a wonderful time in the pool making love and I guess that put his mind on other things than trying to get into my thoughts.

"That's rich, you never keep your thoughts to yourself. I always have to hear about it from Ashlynn." I heard Peter sigh as we turned into the right lane.

"Oh, shut up Peter, you just wish you could read my mind.." she winked and him and his face got a little whiter.

I shook my head as we headed in the direction of Forks.

It was nearly 11 hours later that we had arrived at the mansion. It was nearly 9 in the night and as we pulled up I could hear Peter groan.

"What?" Ashlynn said and Peter pointed to the front yard. I smirked slowly as the light appeared and Edward was seen arm wrestling Emmett, a human friend from his school.

"You can't beat me." I heard Emmett yell. I saw Edward's eyes suddenly move to our car.

"Hide your thoughts." I said suddenly. I heard Ashlynn chuckle and Peter groaned.

"Auntie Ashlynn, Uncle Peter, and Rose what are they doing here.?" I heard the velvet voice yell as we all got out of the car.

"Is that how you greet your aunt?" Ashlynn said running up to a golden eyed Edward. She hugged him and I saw his eyes narrow at me.

I managed my best smile and turned back to grab a sleeping Rose from a bag carrying Peter. I moved past Edward leaving him alone with his "family".

I lay Rose on the couch and turned to look at the doorway and froze. There stood a smirking Edward with a little devious grin on his face.

"Tell me Carlisle." he said moving towards me slowly, and I gulped.

"Uh-No" I managed before he was pressed against me, his lips moving up my jaw.

"Now, Now, I'll wake up Rose if you don't tell me what you three are planning." He grinned slowly.

I smirked slowly at his smile and leaned down to kiss him. I felt his fingers twist in my hair, the cool metal of his wedding ring pressed against the back of my neck.

"No." I smiled and pulled away from him and headed back outside to see Peter, Ashlynn and Emmett sitting on the chairs.

"Carlisle, you're back." Peter smirked knowingly.

I laughed and sat down next to Peter knowing that Edward was probably fuming upstairs in his room.

"He asked didn't he?" Ashlynn said noticing my slight smile.

"Ask what?" Emmett inquired.

Peter looked at Emmett and for a second his rich red eyes dimmed into a chocolate brown.

"Promise not to say anything" he said his crisp accent coming out in a warning tone.

I saw Emmett smirk at Peter. I shook my head. Ever since the two of them had met a couple of years ago, they were always playing the bully and the idol game.

"We're giving Edward a surprise party." Ashlynn said with a smile.

"Oh, for his birthday?" Emmett laughed loudly.

"Yeah, how did you know." Peter inquired with a look of curiousness

"Edward told me that his birthday was coming up and that he didn't want a party. It's only natural they way you guys are acting, that you were throwing one" Emmett said.

I had to admit that this boy didn't miss a thing. It was kind of sweet.

"Heh, that's my boy." I managed with a grin.

The next morning came and went and Edward and Emmett were off at school. He and I had agreed that he could bring Alice and Charlotte with him, if he promised that the twin sisters would behave.

I poured the champagne into three glasses, and Ashlynn pulled out the chocolate cake from the oven.

"Is this all really necessary?" Peter asked watching us as he held a fretful Rose in his arms.

Ashlynn glared at him.

"Peter, Carlisle wants him happy. He wants him to have fun with his friends. I think Emmett could eat this whole cake and still manage to fight with you." She wink and he tensed.

"Relax daddy." Rose said and he looked at her with a tiny smile.

Suddenly the door bell rang and I flinted to it. I heard loud squeals and a pop on the head. I opened the door, and Emmett was holding the two 16 year old twins apart from each other.

Alice and Charlotte had black hair and brown eyes and were always an unruly pair.. However once Alice saw me she stopped and smiled.

"Carlisle" she grinned knowingly.

"Alice." I saw Charlotte look at me in pity from the corner of my eye.

"Oh and Charlotte, welcome" I smiled and I saw Emmett roll his eyes at them.

"Is Edward on the way?" Ashlynn called from the kitchen and I let the two girls run towards the table to look at the cake.

"Yes, he'll be in here in five." Emmett said, putting his cellphone in his pocket.

Soon we had decorated the table, sat everyone down and put 108 candles on the cake.

"Why is there 108?" Emmett asked curiously.

"It's a private joke" Peter smirked at him.

I fidgeted near the chair where Edward was going to sit and Ashlynn tried rubbing my back to help me.

I heard the Volvo pull into the driveway and heard chuckles from Alice and Charlotte. I watched the hallway entrance and heard the door open.

"Carlisle I'm-" Edward turned and looked at all of us. His eyes widened a little.

"Surprise! " Rose chirped and I heard a snicker from Peter.

Edward's eyes narrowed and a devilish smirk rose onto his lips as he put his bag down and moved over towards us.

"Cute very cute" he managed to say and looked at the cake and then to me.

"I made your favourite." I lied and he shook hands with Emmett and then said hi to the girls and ignored me completely.

"Edward." I said and he looked at me and smirked.

"Happy birthday." I whispered tenderly.

I saw his eyes light up a little bit and he sat next to me. He looked at the candles glowing in the light.

"Blow" Rose chirped and Peter covered her tiny mouth and I heard Emmett laugh under his breath.

I saw Edward smile at them and then his breath flew into the air and the candles glow fell away.

"What was your wish?" Charlotte asked him.

Edward gave his famous crooked grin and she blushed and then he looked at me.

"I can't tell you or it won't come true" he laughed and then Ashlynn and Peter went into the kitchen to get plates, Emmett and Alice and Charlotte followed, and a jumpy Rose trailed after them.

I got to my feet the same time as Edward did. I pulled him into my arms.

"Thank you." he whispered against me. "I love you".

I looked down into his golden eyes and realised that I was finally in a place that I never wanted to leave.

Home.

**So there you go. I hope you enjoyed the last, at least for a while, tale of Carlisle and His Edward !**


End file.
